Lucy Anne Timmerman, Here at Last!

It is with great joy and pride that Will and I welcomed our second child, Lucy Anne Timmerman on Tuesday morning, April 28, 2009. She weighed in at 7 pounds, 12 ounces and is 20 1/4 inches long. She has dark hair like her mom, feet just like her dad's, and a nose and mouth just like her big brother Luke. Her birth was a beautiful experience and we couldn't help but feel Luke's presence with us. It is our belief that before Lucy's spirit came to earth to grow in my tummy and arrive in our arms, Luke told her to pick up where he left off and make his parents happy. Our hearts are experiencing happiness like we have never known and a longing that we are still learning to live with every day. We long to hold both of our children, but know that Luke is connected to us more than ever through his little sister Lucy. We came home today from the hospital and the world greeted Lucy in a green spring splendor - everything is in bloom for our little girl. When we walked up to our front door, we saw the eight yellow tulips and two new pink tulips - Luke's gift to Lucy.

Without further ado, here's a few pictures we'd like to share with you of our beautiful daughter.

Heaven Scent on Lucy's Due Date

Yes, it's Lucy's due date, and no, she is not here yet. Hopefully this isn't a sign that she is a procrastinator because Will and I are so opposite that! Either way, we are still trying to patiently wait for her, but it is getting difficult. We just can't wait to meet her. We feel like we have been waiting for the sun to shine for so long now, and once Lucy is here, oh how the sun will shine! In my last post I talked about the timing of things, and how God has a plan. Well, since that last post, things have begun lining up for Will and I, and I am much more at peace with our living situation and Lucy's arrival in the midst of it. To top off our feelings of peace, we walked outside this morning and the first of our tulips had bloomed. What made this significant for us, is that we have every color you could imagine ready to bloom, and it was only the yellow ones that bloomed today. Luke has always been tied to yellow tulips (they were the only flowers we had at his funeral, and on occasion, Will and I will catch 'whiffs' of yellow tulips out of the blue and we know that this is heaven's scent, sent to us by our son) and Will and I took that as a sign that Luke is with us, and is sending his love to help welcome his baby sister into the world. How fitting that Lucy should arrive at the same time our yellow tulips bloomed! Okay Lucy - you better hurry before the rain that is predicted in the forecast levels the yellow tulips!

Missing Luke, Awaiting Lucy, and Finding a Home!

Time is flying by and standing still all at the same time. I had great intentions of writing a post on Easter, especially to mark the occasion of Luke spending his second Easter in Heaven with his mom and dad on earth missing him so much. We had hoped that his baby sister would have been here to make this Easter easier than the last, but Lucy had other plans. It has now occurred to us that even with Lucy here, we will always feel the hole that Luke left in our hearts when we said goodbye to him. The holidays have a way of making that hole more apparent. I never realized just how much children make a holiday until we lost Luke. Holidays are made for children, and it is seeing the day through their eyes that make the holiday so special. And oh how we wish we could see Easter through Luke's eyes. But there is good news! Because of the promise that Jesus made and fulfilled to us when He rose from the dead on Easter morning, we will see Luke again!

Back to the time flying and standing still part though. I never would have thought that I would still be pregnant with Lucy at this point in April. I am learning to deal with my anxiety about her well being on a day to day basis. After what happened with Luke, I just feel like Lucy would be safer out of my belly than in at this point. My doctor keeps reassuring me that she is in fact in the best place possible right now, and that all continues to be completely healthy and normal with her. So, in respects to Lucy's arrival, time seems to be standing still.

Life has definitely taken some interesting turns for Will and I. Ever since we found out Luke's diagnosis, it just seems like it has been one difficult thing after another. Looking back on some of the more difficult events in my life I can clearly see God's hand in them, and have come to realize that what I thought at the time was tragic and devastating ended up turning into a bigger blessing than the actual tragedy. I have yet to see the blessings outweigh the tragedy with Luke - and maybe never will in this life - but there were definitely blessings that came out of our time with Luke. However, I have been trying to remind myself that God has a plan for Will and I to prosper and be happy and that He is holding us in the palm of His hand.

I say all of this because lately, the thing I have been wrestling with the most is our living situation. We sold our condo and have no clear plans on where we will be moving to. If all goes according to schedule, we have about a month to find a new place to live. We have been coming up short on finding a place, and it looks like at this point that we will have to find a temporary living situation until a more permanent one can be found. This means that wherever we move to next will not be the end destination, and I'm afraid will involve living out of boxes and feeling unsettled. This is the opposite of what I could ever have hoped for when bringing home our much anticipated infant daughter. I keep asking God - what are You thinking? What could possibly be good about this situation? The timing just seems horrible. I am trying to put my trust in Him, but it is difficult. I want to know where I will be bringing our daughter home to, and I want it to be of the same quality or better than our condo. I also want it to feel like home, be able to decorate Lucy's nursery and feel settled. I am trying to put my trust in God's plan, and take it day by day, but I am really struggling with that. Please pray for our living situation, and that I will be at peace with God's plan.

Hopefully my next post will be introducing Lucy in an array of photos....

36 Weeks and Waddling

It is strange for me to be past 35 weeks pregnant, as I never got farther than that milestone with Luke. I feel like I am navigating uncharted waters now, and it is kind of bittersweet. It is sad to me that Lucy is now older than her older brother (at least in earth time) and also a bit scary because now if just feels like borrowed time. Plus, the longer Lucy is here, the farther away her brother seems to me and that is enough to make my hormone pumped body cry about. The sweet part comes in though when I think about the fact that in less than a month Lucy will be in my arms and I will be able to cover this much awaited baby in kisses. All of my bottled up mother's love that needed a baby to love on since we said goodbye to Luke can finally find a release with Lucy. I just wish I could cover both my children in kisses this side of heaven.

Last night Will and I were talking before we fell asleep about how Luke seems to be fading from our memory as Lucy's presence is felt more and more each day. We talked about our memories with Luke, and promised each other that we would continue to talk about our firstborn to each other, and to Lucy. It is just a tough transition - hope and joy with the pending arrival of Lucy mixing with the sadness and heartbreak of missing Luke. My mother's heart could never forget him, but it does feel like the world is moving on.

On a happier note, I finished my second round of knitting classes today and am proud of my latest achievement - meet Lambert, a knitted bear disguised in a lamb suit. It was a lot more complicated than I thought it would be, and based on the time and effort I put into it - it may be more of a 'shelf' toy than a toy box toy!

34 Weeks and Knitting

It has been a while since my last post, so I thought I would take a moment this afternoon to give everyone an update. Everything is going well with Lucy, and I am still feeling good with little to no swelling or backaches. I'm just tired constantly, mostly because my nightly routine involves me falling asleep on my right side, waking up with my right side numb and an urgent need to use the bathroom then hoisting and stumbling out of bed to the bathroom. Upon my return to bed, I give my left side a try, and if I'm not asleep within the hour, roll with great effort back to my right side and repeat the entire process every two hours. I think this is probably nature's way of getting me used to being up all night with a newborn.


And if having a 5 lb. baby wriggling around in my stomach isn't enough to keep me awake at night, the fact that Will and I had an offer on our house this week is. We are now looking at the prospect of moving in the next couple of weeks, and am not sure how the timing will work out with Lucy's arrival. We are extremely excited that our house has sold in this marketplace, but now have to wait on our bank to approve it since we are selling it for less than what we owe. To make a long story short, the bank is in control, and we won't have much notice if and when they decide to approve the sale. In the meantime, we have started packing items that we use the least in an attempt to maintain some sort of control over this and the much anticipated arrival of our daughter.


It continues to amaze Will and I to watch God's plan for our lives unfold. Believe me, if I was in charge we would have moved months ago. But God's plan is perfect, and I keep reminding myself that he doesn't want Lucy to arrive in this world homeless. This past week we signed on with a new realtor who happens to also be a friend of ours, and within hours of our condo's pictures being posted online we had a call for a family to view our house. An hour after the family viewed our house, they put in an offer for $4,000 more than we were asking for. Our realtor keeps saying that this is amazing timing, especially in this economy, and she believes that she is just an instrument for Divine Intervention. I believe she is right, and God sure did pick a sweet and oh so capable woman to help unfold his plan. For now, our prayer is that our mortgage company agrees to the sale and that we are able to coordinate a move and a new baby with grace and enough sleep to remember what is really important here - the much anticipated arrival of our baby girl Lucy.


Here's a picture of me and Lucy at 33 weeks and 6 days, taken by Will on Saturday.

And here are some pictures of the cute little things I am knitting Lucy, while my feet are propped up and she wiggles around inside of me. Does life get any better than this?

Happy First Birthday Luke

Sweet Luke, your dad and I hope that you enjoyed your first birthday in heaven. Today we imagined who shared the celebration with you, and we had to smile when we thought of all of our loved ones in heaven with you. Your Great Grandpa Hines and Great Grandpa Timmerman along with your Great Grandma Timmerman would have been passing you back and forth on their laps. Your Great Uncle Thomas, Great Uncle Paul and cousin John who went to heaven when they were young too sat by your side. Gabriel, Kayla, Rielle, Audrey and Isaac were your playmates at the party and Haley's mom Susan made sure everything was perfect for you today. Julie's dad got you your first fishing rod and is going to take you camping, and your Great Uncle Mike made sure that you had plenty of smiles and laughs by doing his Yogi the Bear impression. Your Great Great Uncle Bill made sure you had plenty of cuddles today and Jesus was the guest of honor. Luke, we couldn't imagine a better party for you. We wish more than anything we could have been there too.

Here on earth, we honored your birthday the best way we could while missing you. Your dad and I slept in a little bit, and then stayed cuddled on our bed talking about you and remembering what it was like the day you were born. The weather was much the same as it was today - cold and windy. At 11:14 a.m., we cried while we remembered your debut into the world and how proud we felt when we saw your beautiful face for the first time and felt the weight and warmth of you in our arms. We had waited so long to hold you Luke and once you were in our arms we never wanted to let you go. Your dad kept saying how beautiful you were and called you his Little Buddy. Your grandparents and aunts and uncles were so happy to meet you too, and to hold you. I will never forget Grandma Hines cuddling your cute little bare feet in her hands and your uncles carefully holding you.

Your dad and I could not have gotten through this day without our friends and family. We could feel their love lifting us up and carrying us through. Each of our loved ones had their own way of letting us know they cared and we treasure each one. Katherine who would have been your playmate on earth told me today "Happy Birthday Luke" in her sweet 2-year-old voice. I will never forget it. Not to mention all of the emails, cards and phone calls we received letting us know you are not forgotten. We are going to end your special day by eating a bowl of frozen pears - one of your favorite desserts while I was pregnant with you. I had forgotten about this until your honorary Aunt Theresa reminded me.

Happy Birthday sweet son of ours.

Love,
Mom, Dad & Lucy

Luke's Birthday

This past week we received some "Luke Mail" from Toys R Us, inviting us to join Luke in their birthday club, and giving helpful tips on planning his first birthday party. Contrary to what you may think, Will and I are always wistfully glad to receive mail relating to Luke because in some way it shows us that Luke was in fact here. This particular piece of mail peaked my curiosity because I have been wondering what it would have been like to plan Luke's first birthday. Picking a theme, deciding what type of cake to make him, sending out invitations and even figuring out how to fit all of our friends and family in our house. This past week has been difficult to say the least. I have been trying to find a meaningful way to celebrate Luke's birthday while at the same time hoping to just get through it.

After talking to Will and with many tears and deliberation, here is what we have planned for our little guy's first birthday this Thursday, February 19th. We invite all of our friends and family who are able to stop by and visit Luke at the cemetery and leave a special note for him on a card that Will and I will be leaving at his grave in a ziplock bag with a pen to keep it from getting wet. You can leave your own card too if you wish. If you can't make it to the cemetery, you are welcome to post a note on this blog.

If you haven't been to the cemetery before, you can find directions at http://www.mtelliott.com/resurrection.html. Or you can follow Will's directions: upon entering the cemetery, take the tree lined entrance road until it ends. Turn right. Take this road until it ends and turn left. Go past one block. The second block on the left is where Luke is at. Go halfway up that block on the lefthand side and about five to six rows back. He is in section 23, plot 731. We have a smaller pine needle grave blanket with a small orange truck tucked into a blue snowflake bow covering Luke's grave. The cemetery is open from 7 a.m. - 4:45 p.m. daily. If you need more specifics on where Luke's plot is, you can ask at the office whose hours are from 9 a.m. - 4:30 p.m. Monday through Friday, and 9 a.m. - 4 p.m. on Saturday. We will have the card there through the end of the weekend (Sunday, February 22nd). Because the cemetery doesn't like any artificial decorations, the ziplock with the card will be tucked into the grave blanket just below Luke's headstone.

We will also have a bag of tootsie rolls in honor of Luke tucked into the grave blanket as well. Please help yourself - you may need to let it thaw a bit before you eat it. As some of you know, this 'garbage' candy is something I craved all throughout my pregnancy with Luke. Although I never cared for tootsie rolls myself, Luke obviously liked them. Maybe they taste different filtered through an umbilical cord. We can hope! I know Luke will be smiling down on us as we try not to loose our fillings on this old fashioned treat.

If there is enough snow, feel free to leave a snowman or a snow angel in memory of Luke. Will and I will be spending the day quietly at home with each other, surrounding ourselves with pictures of Luke, yellow tulips (they remind us of Luke) and probably eating a grilled cheese sandwich with a Clausen pickle for lunch since this was also something I craved while pregnant with Luke. Please say a prayer that we get through the day.

Thank you for all of your support over the last year. Will and I have truly discovered the type of caring and compassionate friends and family that we are blessed to have. We couldn't have journeyed through this past year without you.

Love,
Liz, Will & Lucy, with Luke forever in our hearts

Too bad Luke's buddy Mr. Snowman melted last week!