Lucy Anne Timmerman, Here at Last!

It is with great joy and pride that Will and I welcomed our second child, Lucy Anne Timmerman on Tuesday morning, April 28, 2009. She weighed in at 7 pounds, 12 ounces and is 20 1/4 inches long. She has dark hair like her mom, feet just like her dad's, and a nose and mouth just like her big brother Luke. Her birth was a beautiful experience and we couldn't help but feel Luke's presence with us. It is our belief that before Lucy's spirit came to earth to grow in my tummy and arrive in our arms, Luke told her to pick up where he left off and make his parents happy. Our hearts are experiencing happiness like we have never known and a longing that we are still learning to live with every day. We long to hold both of our children, but know that Luke is connected to us more than ever through his little sister Lucy. We came home today from the hospital and the world greeted Lucy in a green spring splendor - everything is in bloom for our little girl. When we walked up to our front door, we saw the eight yellow tulips and two new pink tulips - Luke's gift to Lucy.

Without further ado, here's a few pictures we'd like to share with you of our beautiful daughter.

Heaven Scent on Lucy's Due Date

Yes, it's Lucy's due date, and no, she is not here yet. Hopefully this isn't a sign that she is a procrastinator because Will and I are so opposite that! Either way, we are still trying to patiently wait for her, but it is getting difficult. We just can't wait to meet her. We feel like we have been waiting for the sun to shine for so long now, and once Lucy is here, oh how the sun will shine! In my last post I talked about the timing of things, and how God has a plan. Well, since that last post, things have begun lining up for Will and I, and I am much more at peace with our living situation and Lucy's arrival in the midst of it. To top off our feelings of peace, we walked outside this morning and the first of our tulips had bloomed. What made this significant for us, is that we have every color you could imagine ready to bloom, and it was only the yellow ones that bloomed today. Luke has always been tied to yellow tulips (they were the only flowers we had at his funeral, and on occasion, Will and I will catch 'whiffs' of yellow tulips out of the blue and we know that this is heaven's scent, sent to us by our son) and Will and I took that as a sign that Luke is with us, and is sending his love to help welcome his baby sister into the world. How fitting that Lucy should arrive at the same time our yellow tulips bloomed! Okay Lucy - you better hurry before the rain that is predicted in the forecast levels the yellow tulips!

Missing Luke, Awaiting Lucy, and Finding a Home!

Time is flying by and standing still all at the same time. I had great intentions of writing a post on Easter, especially to mark the occasion of Luke spending his second Easter in Heaven with his mom and dad on earth missing him so much. We had hoped that his baby sister would have been here to make this Easter easier than the last, but Lucy had other plans. It has now occurred to us that even with Lucy here, we will always feel the hole that Luke left in our hearts when we said goodbye to him. The holidays have a way of making that hole more apparent. I never realized just how much children make a holiday until we lost Luke. Holidays are made for children, and it is seeing the day through their eyes that make the holiday so special. And oh how we wish we could see Easter through Luke's eyes. But there is good news! Because of the promise that Jesus made and fulfilled to us when He rose from the dead on Easter morning, we will see Luke again!

Back to the time flying and standing still part though. I never would have thought that I would still be pregnant with Lucy at this point in April. I am learning to deal with my anxiety about her well being on a day to day basis. After what happened with Luke, I just feel like Lucy would be safer out of my belly than in at this point. My doctor keeps reassuring me that she is in fact in the best place possible right now, and that all continues to be completely healthy and normal with her. So, in respects to Lucy's arrival, time seems to be standing still.

Life has definitely taken some interesting turns for Will and I. Ever since we found out Luke's diagnosis, it just seems like it has been one difficult thing after another. Looking back on some of the more difficult events in my life I can clearly see God's hand in them, and have come to realize that what I thought at the time was tragic and devastating ended up turning into a bigger blessing than the actual tragedy. I have yet to see the blessings outweigh the tragedy with Luke - and maybe never will in this life - but there were definitely blessings that came out of our time with Luke. However, I have been trying to remind myself that God has a plan for Will and I to prosper and be happy and that He is holding us in the palm of His hand.

I say all of this because lately, the thing I have been wrestling with the most is our living situation. We sold our condo and have no clear plans on where we will be moving to. If all goes according to schedule, we have about a month to find a new place to live. We have been coming up short on finding a place, and it looks like at this point that we will have to find a temporary living situation until a more permanent one can be found. This means that wherever we move to next will not be the end destination, and I'm afraid will involve living out of boxes and feeling unsettled. This is the opposite of what I could ever have hoped for when bringing home our much anticipated infant daughter. I keep asking God - what are You thinking? What could possibly be good about this situation? The timing just seems horrible. I am trying to put my trust in Him, but it is difficult. I want to know where I will be bringing our daughter home to, and I want it to be of the same quality or better than our condo. I also want it to feel like home, be able to decorate Lucy's nursery and feel settled. I am trying to put my trust in God's plan, and take it day by day, but I am really struggling with that. Please pray for our living situation, and that I will be at peace with God's plan.

Hopefully my next post will be introducing Lucy in an array of photos....

36 Weeks and Waddling

It is strange for me to be past 35 weeks pregnant, as I never got farther than that milestone with Luke. I feel like I am navigating uncharted waters now, and it is kind of bittersweet. It is sad to me that Lucy is now older than her older brother (at least in earth time) and also a bit scary because now if just feels like borrowed time. Plus, the longer Lucy is here, the farther away her brother seems to me and that is enough to make my hormone pumped body cry about. The sweet part comes in though when I think about the fact that in less than a month Lucy will be in my arms and I will be able to cover this much awaited baby in kisses. All of my bottled up mother's love that needed a baby to love on since we said goodbye to Luke can finally find a release with Lucy. I just wish I could cover both my children in kisses this side of heaven.

Last night Will and I were talking before we fell asleep about how Luke seems to be fading from our memory as Lucy's presence is felt more and more each day. We talked about our memories with Luke, and promised each other that we would continue to talk about our firstborn to each other, and to Lucy. It is just a tough transition - hope and joy with the pending arrival of Lucy mixing with the sadness and heartbreak of missing Luke. My mother's heart could never forget him, but it does feel like the world is moving on.

On a happier note, I finished my second round of knitting classes today and am proud of my latest achievement - meet Lambert, a knitted bear disguised in a lamb suit. It was a lot more complicated than I thought it would be, and based on the time and effort I put into it - it may be more of a 'shelf' toy than a toy box toy!