36 Weeks and Waddling

It is strange for me to be past 35 weeks pregnant, as I never got farther than that milestone with Luke. I feel like I am navigating uncharted waters now, and it is kind of bittersweet. It is sad to me that Lucy is now older than her older brother (at least in earth time) and also a bit scary because now if just feels like borrowed time. Plus, the longer Lucy is here, the farther away her brother seems to me and that is enough to make my hormone pumped body cry about. The sweet part comes in though when I think about the fact that in less than a month Lucy will be in my arms and I will be able to cover this much awaited baby in kisses. All of my bottled up mother's love that needed a baby to love on since we said goodbye to Luke can finally find a release with Lucy. I just wish I could cover both my children in kisses this side of heaven.

Last night Will and I were talking before we fell asleep about how Luke seems to be fading from our memory as Lucy's presence is felt more and more each day. We talked about our memories with Luke, and promised each other that we would continue to talk about our firstborn to each other, and to Lucy. It is just a tough transition - hope and joy with the pending arrival of Lucy mixing with the sadness and heartbreak of missing Luke. My mother's heart could never forget him, but it does feel like the world is moving on.

On a happier note, I finished my second round of knitting classes today and am proud of my latest achievement - meet Lambert, a knitted bear disguised in a lamb suit. It was a lot more complicated than I thought it would be, and based on the time and effort I put into it - it may be more of a 'shelf' toy than a toy box toy!