June was a busy, happy month for us. One of the highlights was Lucy and Emma's dance recital. They did an amazing job and shone so bright on stage.
I love the family we are forming at their dance studio, and how their fearless leader teaches my girls not only dance, but how to be a part of something bigger and to include everyone, no matter what their ability may be. It goes without saying that hard work and perseverance are also lessons that they continue to learn on their journey with dance.
We have a couple of recitals under our belt now, and although I am no longer balling my eyes out when my babies are on stage, my favorite part continues to be when I meet them after they come off of the stage. They are so radiant and filled with such joy and pride. It takes bravery to dance your heart out on a giant stage, but the bravery pays giant dividends when you take in the gratitude of the audience after your performance. Of course the week before the recital Emma came down with a horrible fever and pink eye. I don't know if it was sympathy pains (or sympathy itching) but I felt like I was coming down with pink eye too so we treated both of us with eye drops and chamomile tea bags to soothe the itching.
Violet was actually the one who came down first with the fever, but Violet has fevers all of the time due to her inability to sweat so we didn't think anything of it. After Emma came down with the same symptoms (plus pink eye) I felt bad that I wasn't more sympathetic when Violet was sick. Emma was better just in time for the dress rehearsal and Lucy ended up getting sick the day after the recital was finished. Phew!
Another big highlight of our month was going to our very first conference for Ectodermal Dysplasia. It was a local conference for Michigan, Ohio and Illinois and it was only a couple of hours away from us. We decided to make a mini vacation of it and had a wonderful weekend.
To think that if Violet didn't have Ectodermal Dysplasia we would have never had our mini vacation. We would have never met the amazing families also affected by ED and our world wouldn't be as big. I wouldn't wish ED on anyone, but I have to say that it has created such an amazing bond to complete strangers that have hearts of gold that I am forever grateful to Violet for our new family. It was also so healing for us to hear the stories of other people affected like Violet, and to see how they are thriving despite it. Violet has a bright future ahead of her, and so many kind, loving and spirited people to help her now on her journey.
We hit the beach, a sand dune trail and an amazing farmer's market on our vacation too that I really couldn't have asked for more. Unless of course if we could have helped the mood of our teenager trapped in a seven year old's body. She decided on the sand dune trail that we had ruined her life, and that this was the worst vacation of her entire life. Will and I were not prepared for such emotions and regret our awkward laughing, as I think it may have escalated things further. Two blisters later, Lucy learned the valuable lesson that when mom says to pack hiking shoes, you really should just pack hiking shoes - despite them ruining the look of your outfit that you had planned for the day.
Lucy and Emma took a week of swim lessons this past month for the first time and they really enjoyed their time in the water, but more importantly, the fancy hair drying station after their lessons. They are going to a kid swim school that is a bit pricey for our budget, and so we decided that Violet would sit the lessons out until she was a bit older. I told Violet that she had to be older to take swim lessons and she was okay with that. UNTIL. Until we arrive at the girls first lesson and there was a toddler swim class going on at the same time. Violet heard one mom tell another that her daughter was two and then it was all over for me. Violet took my face in her hands and yanked my head so that I was looking right at her and said, "VI VI TWO!!! VI VI SWIM TOO!!!" I finally got her off my back by promising to take her to the family open swim.
Swimming will be a good activity for Violet, however I am hesitant about the pool Lucy and Emma are swimming at because it is over 90 degrees in the pool area. So, budget or not, I will wait until Violet is older so that she can better regulate her own temperature and not be the kid that pukes in the pool.
This summer has been extremely hot and has been breaking all sorts of temperature records. Because of that, unless we are swimming outside, Violet needs to be indoors in air conditioning during the heat of the day. This is a change for us, as we used to live outside all summer, eating all of our meals and doing all of our crafts and play outdoors too. We now make sure to get outside in the early morning and in the evening and then find creative ways to spend the hottest part of the day indoors.
Lots of crafts, snacks and movies, stories and playing house.
There was one day this past month that dawned cool and crisp. The girls and I made a last minute decision to pack a lunch, hop in the car and head to the zoo. I'm so glad we did, as it may be our only zoo trip until fall at the rate the weather is going. We had a great time and the only thing that would have made it better is if Will could have played hooky from work and joined us.
Despite the weather, we did not hibernate all month. We had yoga classes, Lucy had vacation bible school, the girls and I took an herb walk class, and we enjoyed time at the farmer's market, park and library with friends.
We still had plenty of back yard play with classic things like the slide, play doh at the picnic table, bubbles, and sidewalk chalk.
Our covered front porch gets a really nice breeze and so instead of our usual picnic table meals in the backyard, we moved some lunches to the porch. Our backyard is in full shade by mid-afternoon, so that also helps us get outside while keeping Violet more comfortable.
Our suburban farm produced bowls of strawberries, raspberries and blueberries and I was able to harvest rhubarb, lavender, herbs and of course eggs this past month too. The longer we have been gardening, the more we are starting to realize that we do the best with perennial plants that thrive without out too much fuss in our garden. This includes the berries, rhubarb and herbs. I think our garden is slowly evolving into an edible perennial paradise.
Lucy seems to appreciate gardening the very most, and loves finding frogs, caterpillars and flowers in our yard. The below pictures in clockwise order from the top left: if our family was watering cans, Lucy holding a black swallow tail caterpillar she found on our dill plants, a habitat Lucy made for her frog that was very feng shui and Lucy collecting flowers.
Charlie continues to be loved by his humans but is developing quite a reputation with the local wildlife. From a bird or a mouse's perspective, his name is probably know around our yard as Lucifer. So many times birds are dive bombing his head and squirrels are yelling at him from the trees. One evening the girls and I were outside enjoying our yard while Will was at work for a late meeting. All of a sudden we heard two robins chirping so loudly that it could more appropriately be described as bird screaming. We immediately knew Charlie was to blame and ran to investigate. Sure enough, Charlie had a baby robin in his mouth. The robin was still alive though so we poked Charlie with a broom handle until he dropped the bird and then we locked him in the garage with a dish of wet cat food. The baby bird seemed to be okay, however it was too young to fly. Emma showed me the tree that she saw Charlie jump out of with the baby bird but I couldn't find the nest. So I set the baby bird down at the base of the tree and text Will to park in the driveway as Charlie was grounded in the garage and I didn't want him coming out. The next morning we had to get my car out of the garage and Charlie was once again free to roam about the neighborhood. When we came back from our appointments, Charlie was lounging in the backyard with a lazy and smug tail wag, while the mom and dad robins were back at dive bombing his head. I'm assuming he got the baby bird after all.
That very same evening that we tried to save the baby bird, a college student had knocked on our door and asked for our participation in a campaign to shut down a pipeline in the Great Lakes that is past it's prime and a risk to the safety of the water and all that depends on the water. The girls and I each wrote a letter or drew a picture for the cause and that night, Lucy told me that "It's exhausting trying to save the world." Yup, and try as you might, sometimes it still doesn't have a happy ending. But at least we know that we tried, and that's all you can do. But, saving the world one fish or bird at a time does lead to some very good sleep!
We enjoyed family get togethers this past month, and got to hold our new baby cousin Annie, who is also my God daughter. Tears fell when I told my cousin look, "my baby is holding your baby." It's amazing to believe that my cousin and I are now able to watch our own daughters grow up together.
We also celebrated birthdays including a belated one for me with my family, my dad's, my brother's and Will's mom's birthday as well. For Grandma T. we made a garden stone complete with our kids hand prints.
My brother got married this past month in Florida and I was unable to go for various reasons, but the main one being my kids. It was the same day as Lucy and Emma's dance recital, and also, I still am unable to leave Violet and taking her with me was not an option as Florida in June would have been way too hot for her. I do not regret my decision, although it was one of the hardest decisions I have had to make. However, even though I don't regret not going, it was still incredibly sad for me to miss my own brother's wedding. My sister in law got me through it though by patiently encouraging me for the week prior to download SnapChat and then she proceeded to SnapChat the entire wedding for me. It was the next best thing to being there and it really helped me get through missing it. Imagine my tears of gratitude though when my brother and my new sister in law sent me a package with baby pine trees - the favors from their wedding. Now I can plant the trees and feel like I was a part of their day, even from far away.
We planted flowers at Luke's, my grandparents and Will's grandpa's grave this past month. They are drought hardy plants, but I am hoping they make it through this crazy hot summer we are having.
As painful as it is to plant flowers at your own baby's grave, I have to say that Luke has also opened up our world too. We are more compassionate to others who are grieving and we understand first hand how to help those going through a rough time in their life. We have formed bonds with other families who have lost children and whenever we meet another parent who knows the pain of losing their child, our relationship automatically goes from stranger to family. It is interesting to me how struggles can create such strong connections. The pain we have encountered in our lives has broadened our horizons and given us rich experiences of which we would have never had otherwise. If I had it my way, I would still pick for Violet to be birth defect free, and for Luke to be with us on earth, whole and healthy too. But I did not get to pick, and as there is nothing I can do to change matters, I will choose gratitude, and try to recognize the silver linings when they come my way.
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