3 Months Old Already!

Time is just flying by with Lucy! She is now 3 months old, and just this evening was trying really hard to roll over. She almost did it, but instead kept rotating around in a circle. Lucy is able to lay on her belly and hold her head up for 'tummy time' really well now too. It is amazing how strong she is getting and the difference even one day can make in her development. She still loves her bath, and is becoming more vocal with vowel sounds and what we call 'owl' sounds. We have been incredibly busy this month, and sometimes feel bad that she spends a good majority of her time it seems in her car seat as we drive here and there. We are hoping that August is a bit more laid back for us, and that we can continue to enjoy Lucy before Will has to go back to school.

Something amazing that gives us chills is Lucy's fascination of the picture of Luke we have sitting on our end table in the living room. The first time we caught her staring at it we couldn't break her gaze, it was so strong. We hope that Lucy knows who Luke is, and recognizes his face in the picture. I also like to think that Luke visits Lucy, and lets her know that she is safe with him watching over her. We would give anything to have both of our children in our arms right now. As we watch Lucy grow, we can't help but feel wistful that we missed the joy of seeing Luke achieve those same milestones. Bittersweet is the only way I know how to describe it. We still miss our little guy more than we know how to say. Lucy does keep us busy enough that we don't have as much time to dwell on our grief, but it is still there, a constant longing in our heart for the little boy we never got to see smile up at us. I remind myself that he is smiling down at us, but it just isn't the same.

Here are some updated pictures of Luke's little sister.

Lucy is starting to cuddle more.

Lucy in the car.

Lucy sitting up like a big girl! Lucy smiling!
Lucy doing 'tummy time'.Lucy and Grandpa.

Lucy is Two Months Old!

We are having a wonderful summer so far, and loving the fact that Will is home. I am so glad that Will is a teacher, and that we can build such great memories during our first summer with Lucy. Lucy loves the outdoors which we are happy about since we practically live outside as soon as the thermometer hits above 40 degrees. At our new home we are able to walk to pretty much anything including Great Grandma and Great Grandpa's house so we try to walk whenever possible. The other day I could be seen walking home from the grocery store with a giant 20 roll package of Quilted Northern that happened to be on sale resting precariously atop the stroller. I have no shame! Although I will admit I had several panicked seconds when I realized the package wouldn't fit in the basket under the stroller.

As for the changes in Lucy since our last post - besides the fact that we can practically see her growing before our eyes, she is smiling more and starting to coo. It is adorable. It even melts our hearts at 3 in the morning. Speaking of 3 in the morning, Lucy is still quite the night owl, and our one complaint is the lack of sleep we get at night.

I've had several friends and family request more pictures of Lucy. Because I know that is really why you are here, I'll tell the rest of the updates with pictures of our little lady!

Lucy's Baptism was Sunday, June 14.

Great Grandpa knows how to make Lucy smile!

The Pope Himself came to Lucy's Baptism and gave her His Blessing!

Here she is sleeping...

And sleeping some more... did I mention that it is daytime?

Here she is cuddled in yet another laundry basket - clean of course!

It is actually night time here - past midnight though, and this is how she finally fell asleep.

She is holding her head up more, and able to sit for short periods of time.

Lucy loves to stand! Look at those droopy cheeks!
They are probably kissed a hundred times a day!

We Had No Idea

Lucy is 6 weeks old now, and is starting to show more of her personality to us. She loves her swing and sometimes will only go to sleep if the swing rocks her. She loves the sound of running water, getting her face washed and taking a bath. She likes it when I make up songs with her name in it, and sing them to her. She prefers to be held (unless of course she is in her swing!) and would rather be outside than inside. The last couple of weeks she has been starting to smile, and it just melts our hearts.

A couple of days ago we got out the video camera to record Lucy getting her face washed. It is so comical and cute - her head goes limp, her eyes kind of roll back in her head and you can hear her sigh loudly. Clearly she finds a warm wash cloth on her face very relaxing! It was then that I started going backwards on the camera and looking at old videos. The first video we ever took on that camera was still on there, and I had forgotten all about it - a year and a half later. It was the day of our baby shower for Luke back in January of 2008. Will's brother had given us the camera for our shower gift, and Will and I were back at home and testing it out. To see how happy we were made a lump catch in my throat. It was like looking at sweet innocence - we were so excited and carefree awaiting our baby Luke. We had no idea. We had no idea that our world was about to turn upside down, and that life would never be the same again.

Several people have asked Will and I if we appreciate Lucy more after what we went through with Luke. We had no idea how much our second child would turn our world upside down, and that life would never be the same again. But your life can change and be different in a positive way. I do miss eating dinner in peace with Will, sleeping through the night and being able to go wherever we want whenever we want without having to pack up half the house or be mindful of feeding schedules. But I would not go back or trade our new life for anything. We had no idea that we would be capable of such silly antics just to see a baby smile. We had no idea that our hearts could feel so much love and joy again. We had no idea how simple looks or a little yawn would remind us of her brother Luke. We had no idea how little sleep we could function on or how fast time goes by while holding a baby. We had no idea.

I guess life is like that. We really have no idea what is around the corner and I think that is a good thing. Will and I were able to enjoy our time with Luke without sadness. We are now able to enjoy parenthood with Lucy. And although we do not know what is around the next corner, we do know that with our Faith, family and friends we will be able to carry on through the joy and the tears.

Okay - here's what you are really looking for - pictures of Lucy!

An Update

I have been wanting to post for quite some time now, and share with you all the many photos we have of Lucy. Things have been busy to say the least - life with a newborn coupled with the fact that last weekend we moved. The best advice seasoned moms have given me is to sleep when Lucy sleeps. It is so hard to do though when boxes are stacked all around you. As my close friends and family know, I am a bit of a control freak and like to have everything organized around me. But, thanks to our friends and family the past couple of weeks, things are more organized than I would have thought. We've had delicious meals made for us, many hands - and trucks - that helped us move, and our parents and siblings who helped us unpack. Really, once we spent the first night in our new home, I felt like a recipient of an Extreme Home Makeover.

Our new home is in fact the home that Will's Dad grew up in, and has been in the Timmerman family for about sixty years - from the day the house was built. Some of you may remember that Will's Grandma Timmerman passed away after Christmas. Since then, her children and their spouses have been cleaning and fixing up her house in hopes of selling it. I know that Will's Dad has been over at her house almost every single day painting, cleaning and fixing along with several of his sisters. When Will and I sold our condo, and realized that we needed a place to live fast with little Lucy due any day, the Timmerman family offered us their mother's home until we were able to find a more permanent situation. We have been overwhelmed by their love and generosity - fresh paint and carpet was put in for us, curtains were hung and the place was cleaned till it shined for us to literally show up and move in. I can't imagine what we would have done without their help. Will and I feel like we don't deserve this, and are eternally grateful. And, how cool is it that Lucy's room is the very same room that her Grandpa grew up in?

Speaking of Lucy - she is doing great! She is steadily growing and even learning the difference between day and night. She is definitely her daddy's girl, and spends much of her awake time snuggled in Will's arms and gazing intently into his eyes. Will seems to know just what she wants. He can tell if she is too hot, tired, hungry or just in need of some love. We have decided that she has Grandpa Timmerman's ears but still don't know for sure who she looks like besides her brother Luke. Little Lucy is growing before our eyes, and peaks of personality are starting to show through.

Lucy's first outing was to the cemetery to visit her brother Luke. Below are pictures of her first outing, along with some stellar tulips that bloomed on Luke's grave and some great pictures of Lucy with each of her grandma's, her Godmother Auntie Jane, her dad, and of course, some pictures of just Lucy looking oh so cute. One of my favorites is of her curled up and napping on our bed.

Isn't she cute!?!

Lucy Anne Timmerman, Here at Last!

It is with great joy and pride that Will and I welcomed our second child, Lucy Anne Timmerman on Tuesday morning, April 28, 2009. She weighed in at 7 pounds, 12 ounces and is 20 1/4 inches long. She has dark hair like her mom, feet just like her dad's, and a nose and mouth just like her big brother Luke. Her birth was a beautiful experience and we couldn't help but feel Luke's presence with us. It is our belief that before Lucy's spirit came to earth to grow in my tummy and arrive in our arms, Luke told her to pick up where he left off and make his parents happy. Our hearts are experiencing happiness like we have never known and a longing that we are still learning to live with every day. We long to hold both of our children, but know that Luke is connected to us more than ever through his little sister Lucy. We came home today from the hospital and the world greeted Lucy in a green spring splendor - everything is in bloom for our little girl. When we walked up to our front door, we saw the eight yellow tulips and two new pink tulips - Luke's gift to Lucy.

Without further ado, here's a few pictures we'd like to share with you of our beautiful daughter.

Heaven Scent on Lucy's Due Date

Yes, it's Lucy's due date, and no, she is not here yet. Hopefully this isn't a sign that she is a procrastinator because Will and I are so opposite that! Either way, we are still trying to patiently wait for her, but it is getting difficult. We just can't wait to meet her. We feel like we have been waiting for the sun to shine for so long now, and once Lucy is here, oh how the sun will shine! In my last post I talked about the timing of things, and how God has a plan. Well, since that last post, things have begun lining up for Will and I, and I am much more at peace with our living situation and Lucy's arrival in the midst of it. To top off our feelings of peace, we walked outside this morning and the first of our tulips had bloomed. What made this significant for us, is that we have every color you could imagine ready to bloom, and it was only the yellow ones that bloomed today. Luke has always been tied to yellow tulips (they were the only flowers we had at his funeral, and on occasion, Will and I will catch 'whiffs' of yellow tulips out of the blue and we know that this is heaven's scent, sent to us by our son) and Will and I took that as a sign that Luke is with us, and is sending his love to help welcome his baby sister into the world. How fitting that Lucy should arrive at the same time our yellow tulips bloomed! Okay Lucy - you better hurry before the rain that is predicted in the forecast levels the yellow tulips!

Missing Luke, Awaiting Lucy, and Finding a Home!

Time is flying by and standing still all at the same time. I had great intentions of writing a post on Easter, especially to mark the occasion of Luke spending his second Easter in Heaven with his mom and dad on earth missing him so much. We had hoped that his baby sister would have been here to make this Easter easier than the last, but Lucy had other plans. It has now occurred to us that even with Lucy here, we will always feel the hole that Luke left in our hearts when we said goodbye to him. The holidays have a way of making that hole more apparent. I never realized just how much children make a holiday until we lost Luke. Holidays are made for children, and it is seeing the day through their eyes that make the holiday so special. And oh how we wish we could see Easter through Luke's eyes. But there is good news! Because of the promise that Jesus made and fulfilled to us when He rose from the dead on Easter morning, we will see Luke again!

Back to the time flying and standing still part though. I never would have thought that I would still be pregnant with Lucy at this point in April. I am learning to deal with my anxiety about her well being on a day to day basis. After what happened with Luke, I just feel like Lucy would be safer out of my belly than in at this point. My doctor keeps reassuring me that she is in fact in the best place possible right now, and that all continues to be completely healthy and normal with her. So, in respects to Lucy's arrival, time seems to be standing still.

Life has definitely taken some interesting turns for Will and I. Ever since we found out Luke's diagnosis, it just seems like it has been one difficult thing after another. Looking back on some of the more difficult events in my life I can clearly see God's hand in them, and have come to realize that what I thought at the time was tragic and devastating ended up turning into a bigger blessing than the actual tragedy. I have yet to see the blessings outweigh the tragedy with Luke - and maybe never will in this life - but there were definitely blessings that came out of our time with Luke. However, I have been trying to remind myself that God has a plan for Will and I to prosper and be happy and that He is holding us in the palm of His hand.

I say all of this because lately, the thing I have been wrestling with the most is our living situation. We sold our condo and have no clear plans on where we will be moving to. If all goes according to schedule, we have about a month to find a new place to live. We have been coming up short on finding a place, and it looks like at this point that we will have to find a temporary living situation until a more permanent one can be found. This means that wherever we move to next will not be the end destination, and I'm afraid will involve living out of boxes and feeling unsettled. This is the opposite of what I could ever have hoped for when bringing home our much anticipated infant daughter. I keep asking God - what are You thinking? What could possibly be good about this situation? The timing just seems horrible. I am trying to put my trust in Him, but it is difficult. I want to know where I will be bringing our daughter home to, and I want it to be of the same quality or better than our condo. I also want it to feel like home, be able to decorate Lucy's nursery and feel settled. I am trying to put my trust in God's plan, and take it day by day, but I am really struggling with that. Please pray for our living situation, and that I will be at peace with God's plan.

Hopefully my next post will be introducing Lucy in an array of photos....