Opal's First Birthday!

Opal may have been due on Luke's planned birthday (he had a scheduled c-section because of his birth defects), but she came on her own terms.  Here we are a year later, and I'm so glad that her birthday is so close to her brother's in heaven.  Each of my girls have been the rainbow after the storm, and Opal is no exception!  Will is still her favorite person...

 ...and she continues to love me when it's time to eat.

 

When Will's at work, she does allow some snuggles from me too.  Laid back would not be in the top 100 words I would use to describe her, and she is quite vocal when her sisters are keeping her from living her best life.  I am nicely and constructively implying that she screams like a banshee or a teradactyl and causes so much tension in my neck each time she yelps.  She's lucky she's cute.

Opal loves books, and says "Ba" when she wants to read a book.  In the top, left-hand picture below, we turned to the page pictured, and Opal immediately sneezed!  My girl's a reader!

Opal still loves making us laugh with peek-a-boo, and unless she likes the menu, she prefers to be silly rather than eat something she doesn't like.  Her list of preferred foods is growing, fortunately, and right now includes in priority order: graham crackers, pretzels, taco meat, sloppy Joe meat, waffles, crackers, blueberries, mango, cucumber, pear, apple, steamed carrots, green beans and peas, veggie or chicken soup, and plain pasta.  Sometimes she will eat oatmeal if it is congealed and she can feed it to herself.

Opal now says "Bye" whenever she sees us go out the door, even if it is just to take the trash out.  She says "Hot" when she sees steam coming off of stuff cooking in the kitchen or off the food on the table.  She says "Ssssss" when she's yanking off her socks and then trying to put them back on by herself, and also "Sssss" when she wants to go on her swing outside.  To me, the funniest thing she says is "Hi?" when she is about to do something that she believes is either not allowed, or dangerous. It's like she is saying, "Hello, is anyone watching me?  Please stop me as I can't control my impulses!"

Opal doesn't sleep very well, and because we've had three other children who have worn us down and frankly, broken our will to find a sleep solution, we get her to sleep in any way we can, while ignoring any bad habits it may be forming.  Fortunately we now know that she will outgrow it, just like her sisters did.  Sadly, this probably won't be until age 3 at least.  Until then, it is survival!

The day before Opal's first birthday we celebrated with both sets of Grandparents, and an aunt and an uncle who live close by.  We had a busy day, with a volunteer session at our church and so we did a lot of food prep the day before.  Everything was running right on schedule until Opal fell asleep minutes before we were supposed to leave the volunteer outing and head home.  She of course woke up as soon as we put her in her carseat, and so had a 5 minute nap the entire day.  When we got home, we had a few hours to finish getting the food ready for her party.  I had made one and a half cakes for her, so that the following day we could eat the smaller cake on her actual birthday.  Our kitchen is small, and with all of the food prep going on, I iced the cakes on top of our ceramic cook top stove.  Little did we know that Will had accidentally turned the wrong burner on the stove and as I moved the smaller cake to the granite counter top to clear up the stove, the glass pan exploded into thousands of pieces.  Glass confetti was everywhere - and worst of all, it sprinkled the larger cake like sugar crystals.  All of the cake was garbage.  I had tiny flecks of glass in my hands and arms and was lucky it wasn't worse.  To literally ice this cake of a day, while Will and I were busy cleaning up the mess in the kitchen, one of our children had a bathroom problem, and decided to clean it up themselves.  This is when it literally hit the fan.  With our guests due any minute now, I called my parents and they picked up an apple pie on the way to our house so that we could put a candle in something for Opal.  I did take a picture of the iced cake before it blew up, so at least we have that for the memory book.  Sadly, Opal did not like the apple pie, but seemed content to eat graham crackers, her favorite food anyways.  

I had put so much love and care into that made from scratch banana cake for my baby's first birthday, that it was really hard for me to get over putting it in the trash.  I finally had Will do it, several days later.   There was a silver lining though.  A few days prior to Opal's party, Will had cleaned off Luke's grave from the Christmas and birthday decorations.  It was all still in his trunk.  We had planned on going to the party store to let Opal pick out a birthday balloon for her party, but ran out of time with all of the clean up.  That's when Will remembered Luke's birthday balloon, and would you believe it still floated, almost a month later?  

I think Opal thoroughly enjoyed her party, and she did an amazing job, considering she only took a 5 minute nap that day.

The following day, we had a nice, quiet day at home with her.  

 A one year old doesn't need much, and so I encouraged the girls to make her gifts or regift her some of the toys they may have outgrown.  Emma made her a pillow case with a little help from me for her first, big girl pillow.  Emma also made her a piece of decorated paper, covered in packaging tape which turned out to be one of her favorite gifts, as Opal loves chewing on paper and this paper couldn't be choked on!

 Lucy gave Opal a backpack that she had outgrown, and Violet made Opal a set of birthday crowns, as well as gave her one of her favorite baby dolls named Bonnie the Bee.  I just loved seeing their generosity and creativity straight from their hearts for their beloved baby sister.  I made Opal a book about the day she was born (I made each of the girls this for their first birthday), and Will cut her name out of wood and painted it (which he did for each of the girls first birthday as well) to hang in her room.  Finally, she got a few books, some Duplos, and a baby doll that I found on eBay to match the baby doll that each of her sisters got on their first birthdays.  Since the doll came from eBay, it had no clothes, and of course I didn't remember this until two nights before her birthday.  I ended up using one of Opal's newborn sleepers, and cut it down to size and sewed it up and it fit like a charm!  In fact, I may do this for each of the girls' baby dolls!

 We made her a little batch of arrowroot cookies for her birthday, since I wanted her to have something a bit more special than graham crackers and I was all out of ripe bananas.  She liked the cookie, and got a kick out of us all singing to her and blowing out her candle as she repeated "hot", "hot".

This little lady is so very loved.  Here she is below, being supported with the arms of her family all around her, getting measured for the first time on our family growth chart.  I think this picture sums up our little lady in our family so well.

Happy first birthday Opal!  You have brought so much to our family, and we love you so very much!

February 2019

February was cold and involved a lot of hibernating.  On top of the bleak weather, February is the month where my heart is the most heavy missing Luke.  Looking at the below pictures though, I can see how with each other, we got through a tough month.  Here are the kids below in clockwise order from top left: Emma, decoding Leonardo Da Vinci's secret code writing, the girls enjoying homemade waffles and home school, Emma and Lucy holding up their art work from their latest art class at the local art center by our house, and finally, Violet reading to me from one of her favorite books - The Lady with the Alligator Purse.

 Lots of fun was had indoors because of the weather.  In clockwise order from top left: Violet hiding under the piano bench, Emma and Violet with their Baby Sister Playpen that they invented to keep Opal out of what they were playing with, playing with Duplos, playing with packaging materials, and Violet's hands after working on an art project.

The girls love spending time with Will, and because he is gone for work a lot of the time, he becomes even more special to them when he is home.  Will also cracked the code of the Rubix cube (with some help from YouTube) that he got Emma for Christmas.  Or did he get it for himself?  It took about two weeks to solve it, and then about twenty seconds with Opal to scramble it up again.

One morning I opened up the curtains and saw a mama deer and her two babies in the wildflower garden beds in our yard.  Our bees are all still alive, despite the harsh winter we have been having and one day this past month when we had a temporary warm up, we found a honey bee on our drive way that was struggling to make it's way home.  Will got it onto a stick and helped it back.

Lucy has been sewing up a storm this winter, and she was super excited to have her herbal eye masks  to sell at my latest bee event.  Between the event and posting them on social media, she sold out.  She is saving up to have her ears pierced, and now the only thing between her and pierced ears is us finding a place to have them done.

The bee event was a family affair, which is how I like it best. Will's flexibility and the kids' willingness to help really make for a lovely, although exhausting, family day for us.  I love how something that we enjoy is also teaching them so many life skills.

Besides the bee event, we didn't get out too much this past month.  We did go and visit one of our favorite Girl Scouts and support her the best we could via cookie purchases, and I also braved a big shopping trip at our local craft store with all four girls in tow.  They usually love going to the craft store, but by the end of this one, they were cranky and so was I.  In the check out line they spotted their favorite Big-Eyed stuffed animals, as they call them, and gave me their own Big-Eyes Begging.  Of course, I gave in, but they had to use their own money.  Life skills, baby!

 We enjoyed time outdoors when the weather was warm enough.  I took the kids to the local elementary school sledding hill...

 ...we went hiking, and I also tried out the ice on a pond near us.  The bottom, right hand picture below is of a sunset from our front porch that the girls took for me.

 Our own driveway had a huge patch of ice that the girls enjoyed playing on...

...and Charlie enjoyed snuggles from me as with gloves and a winter coat on, I am protected from cat-induced hives!  He's such a lover boy, and I wish every day that I wasn't so allergic to him.  And yes, in the bottom, left-hand picture I am singing to him.

 I tackled a fever and taxes all on the same day this past month, despite security issues where I ended up needing to use two computers and my phone to log in and do what I needed to do with various banks and accounting software.  Based on how complicated it is to log in to my own accounts, I have no idea how hackers have such an easy time with other people's accounts.

 One weekend, I decided to make a bunch of pies for the freezer.  Chicken pot pie and mixed berry pies for the win!  As I type this, they are all gone and I'm thinking another pie day is in order soon.

We celebrated Valentine's Day with fresh donuts from the local donut shop and homemade cards and store bought chocolates.

We also did our best to celebrate Luke's 11th birthday.  It is so hard to believe it has been over a decade since we saw his sweet face and held him for the first and last time in our arms.  While certain aspects of the missing get easier with time, it is still a day that for the most part is something that I dread.  We released one balloon this year, and I continue to be torn about the environmental impact of this tradition.  It means so much to my kids though, and for them, they believe that the balloon goes from their hands to the hands of Luke in heaven.  I wish that his birthday was during butterfly season and we could release butterflies to heaven, but alas, it is not.

The day of Luke's birthday was quiet, and I am sad to report that I had no signs from Luke.  I spent much of the day trying not to be cranky, and feeling a type of loneliness that is hard to describe.  The very next day though, when we went to the craft store and the kids each got to buy a stuffed animal, Lucy realized hers had the same birthday as Luke.  I think that was a sign, although it would have been nice on his birthday to feel his presence.

We ate all of the foods I craved while pregnant with him, and I made a yummy chocolate cake for dessert.  My sister sent us something called Wish Paper that you write a wish on and then hold over a candle.  As it burns, it causes the paper to float up into the air and all that remains is the wish you wrote on it.  I'm hoping that this can be our tradition in the future, and it meant a lot to me that my sister found this for us.

Eleven years have gone by, and we have celebrated Luke's birthday much the same way each year.  This year, I started feeling that I wanted to do something different.  My kids however love the routine and tradition.  Perhaps next year though, we will all find a solution that honors all of our needs.  Here is Luke's family below, hopefully creating a legacy of love on earth for him, so that when we are all together again, he will be so proud of all of us.

It's the simple truth when I say that I am always glad when February is over.  For me, Luke's birthday each year is the darkest day of the winter.  Once his birthday has passed, my soul is ready to shed the weight and darkness of sadness and embrace spring, weathered but lighter, and hopefully wiser and more at peace as well.

January Deep Freeze

As I type this, Will has had two cold days, two ice days, and four snow days.  We even had a one day week of work in there.  I will say that we are always happy to have Will home with us, but on that fourth day in a row of severe winter weather, the natives had grown quite restless.  In fact, it almost felt like a hostage situation.  Because unlike regular snow days, filled with lots of outside snow play, hot chocolate and shoveling the driveway, these four days were spent hibernating and praying that our power didn't go out, as well as finding ways to keep our chickens and our outdoor cat safe and warm.  Needless to say, the cozy aura had worn off and we were ready for a regular routine again - one in which we could safely go outside.  I didn't think to screenshot my weather app until the temperatures had started to warm up, but even still it was way too cold when I did screenshot the temps.  On the first day of the month long cold snap, we did our winter tradition of filling balloons with water and food dye to create beautiful ice gems on our front porch.

On days that were above 20 degrees, we made sure to get outside.  Here are the kids below, skating in their boots on a parking lot by our house that was a complete sheet of ice.  We also found a little stream completely iced over that I knew was shallow enough to be safe to skate on without worry.

I do love a good winter hike, as there are no bugs and you can always peel off layers if you get too hot.

 For most of the month of January, we had to find ways to entertain ourselves indoors, however.  Here we are below with family and friends.  In clockwise order from top left: the kids with family friends eating lunch, Grandma T. playing a game with the kids, my friend's 40th birthday party, Lucy and her cousin Ellen deep in conversation, and finally, a pile-up of Aunt Jenna, and cousins Violet and Maryn.

 My sister Jane and her boyfriend Isaac were in town from the East Coast this past month, and I'm realizing that I didn't get a single picture of them.  I did however get photos of our time with the family when they were here.  In clockwise order from top left: cousins Lucy and Maryn in deep conversation, another pile up with this time Aunt Jane, Aunt Cate, and Violet, and finally, portraits done by Isaac of Violet, and then Emma.  The likeness of the portraits were striking!

We attended a library event on making pom-poms which the girls enjoyed and was a perfect start to a perfect winter Saturday.

 After the library class, we headed to our town's winter festival where we enjoyed our first meal out with Opal as an entire family.  Take-out has just been so much easier since Opal was born!  So it was a real treat for us to sit in a restaurant, and Opal did a great job.  Our plan after lunch was to tour the winter festival, but the wind was so brutally cold that the older three girls and I ended up walking a few blocks to see ice sculptures while Will went with Opal to pick us up in the car.  It was still a lovely day out, to break up our hibernation.

 We also enjoyed a day at our local science museum, and caught the very last day of a traveling exhibit of Leonardo Da Vinci.  We had studied Da Vinci this year in school, so it was so great to see the connections being made and new discoveries about the artist, inventor and scientist as well.  One of the things that stood out to the kids was the fact that Da Vinci wrote everything mirror image, so to read his writing, you needed to use a mirror.  In the below pictures from top left: so many connections were made at the museum from things we have been studying this year in school - agates, which the girls had just learned about and were excited to pose in front of a giant one, a room of mirrors, Opal riding for the first time in our umbrella stroller (as opposed to the many times she has ridden in the doll umbrella stroller), Emma standing in front of an American bison that she had just learned about in school, and finally, using a mirror to decode some of Da Vinci's writing.

 That was the extent of our time out of the house.  The rest was spent at home, and for the most part, we enjoyed the arts, crafts and nesting.  Below are the girls and I making two varieties of cookies one Friday in January for our poetry tea time later that day that we shared with Aunt Jane and Isaac.  The older three sisters took turns pushing Opal in a doll stroller so that each of the three oldest could take turns with me rolling and cutting out cookies.

 Below in clockwise order from top left: Will making pom poms with the girls, Violet enjoying mini marshmallows in her hot chocolate, Emma organizing our junk drawer to earn back the TV she had taken away, Lego versions of Aunt Jane and Isaac that the kids made and I thought were pretty spot on, and finally, a selfie that Emma took of her, Violet and Opal.

 I taught Emma how to sew this past month and we made pillowcases together.  Lucy continued to make her herbal eye masks...

...and we all enjoyed some great watercolor painting.

 The girls did yoga, and put on many shows for us in the basement.

My heart could burst with joy and pride when all four girls find a way to play together, and in the below photos, I was privileged to see them all working hard to make Opal laugh with play silks.  Opal loved it, and the great big belly laughs and smiles were so rewarding for the big sisters to hear, that they kept on with this game for quite some time.

 It has been hard for me to find uninterrupted quiet time these days, and I crave it.  I am so much more patient and happier when I can start the day at least an hour before everyone else wakes up.  Sometimes Opal has other plans and gets up too early, or was up all night and so I need the extra hour of sleep, but when I can, I love to read or journal or do yoga while the house is quiet.  I try to avoid any phone usage or computer work as that doesn't recharge me like a book, pen and paper, or gentle stretching does.  One morning Violet found me nestled on the floor in a corner of my room with the bathroom stool as my desk and the window shade up just a crack so as not to wake anyone else up.  Without a word, she went and got her own stool and quietly joined me.  We sat in silence, each with our own books and I knew that this was a moment I would remember for always.

Here's to peaceful morning starts, warmer temperatures and more moments with my girls that I will remember forever!

Opal at 11 Months

It's amazing how much a baby grows in one month, and this month was no exception for Opal.  She is cruising the furniture, and crawling everywhere.  It has been challenging to take Opal out in public these last couple of months as I don't like her crawling on the floor of public places.  Of course this is all she wants to do though.  We lucked out the other day at church when I found the small chapel had a freshly vacuumed rug.  Opal was happy to crawl around on it while I listened to the service in the main church through the doorway.

 You could say allowing her to crawl in public places is immunity building, but lawn chemicals and toxic floor chemicals do nothing to support a healthy immune system, and that is the reality of floors in public places these days.  Fortunately, Grandma and Grandpa's house is a safe crawl zone, and they even have carpeted stairs, unlike our own house.  Opal can now climb stairs like a pro, making it very important for us to remember to close the baby gates when we go up or down stairs.

Playing outside is difficult too when you can't walk yet and there is a lot of snow and ice all over the ground.  At this point in the winter, Opal almost tolerates her snowsuit.  Almost.

She does love her little sled though!  Her sisters fight over whose turn it is to pull her in it.  It's so adorable to watch her, she's like a little princess riding in a chariot.

Her sisters definitely spoil her.  In the below photos, Opal is enjoying a play house that her sisters made.  It was not created for the entertainment of Opal, but once the girls saw how much Opal loved it, they couldn't refuse her advances.

Even after almost a year of having a little sister,  the big sisters have not grown tired of their real life baby doll.

Opal has discovered that she can reach the keys of our piano, which is so cute until her older sisters can't practice the piano because Opal is "piano bombing" their songs.

Right now there is no free horizontal space, as anything and everything that Opal can get into we have put up high.  This includes wastebaskets, toys, choking hazards, paper, books, and anything else that Opal could get hurt on, or destroy.  Here she is below, playing.

The girls and I made Opal some arrowroot teething biscuits this past month, which Opal loved.  Of course her sisters loved them too, so Opal only got to enjoy a few of them before they were all gone.  Opal now eats three meals a day with us, and after each meal, can be found under the table looking for her dessert.

 Opal claps now, does a cute pow wow with the back of her hand on her mouth, smiles for photos, and enjoys reading a book in my lap as she can now turn the pages herself.  In fact, most of the "reading" is her just methodically turning the pages, over and over again.  She now says phrases, which include "Hi Dadda," "Hi Mama," and "Bye Bye Baby."  She refers to herself as Baby, and any other kid she sees is also a baby.  The best is when she wants something out of her reach she will yell, "Baby!" As in, give that to the baby, now!

She is so very lovable, and I can hardly believe we've been enjoying our Opal for almost a year!