The Yin, The Yang and July Metamorphosis

Will had the entire month of July off, which we had all been looking forward to for months.  We made a summer bucket list of things that each family member wanted to do to enjoy our time off to the fullest.  Top on our list was spending time outside in our own backyard.

I must say that we sure had fun, enjoying lots of popsicles, ice cream cones, the kiddie pool, and slip and slide as well as the majority of our meals outdoors.  In the bottom right hand picture you will see that even I enjoyed the slip and slide - much to the delight of my children and the shock of my husband and probably neighbors.  Let's just say it was an amazing good time but I paid the price the next day when I could hardly get out of bed and my arms hurt so bad that just swinging them as I walked brought tears to my eyes!  Totally worth it though and now I think slip and slides should be considered as a valid addition to any good cross training program!

We decided that we didn't have the energy to deal with Violet's car ride screams long enough to go anywhere on vacation, and so we utilized our backyard as the sweetest vacation spot around.

We had an amazing crop of strawberries, raspberries and blackberries this past month to the point where we were considering putting up a U-Pick sign in our front yard.

Being the thrifty folk that we are, we diligently picked, canned, froze and ate every last berry.  It was definitely quite a responsibility in our otherwise month long vacation.  Violet has become a berry picking pro and helped quite a bit by eating them as she picked, making less berries I had to find a way to preserve.  At the beginning of the month she would pick and eat berries even if they weren't ripe.  By the end of the month, not only did she know to only pick and eat the ripe berries but if she accidentally picked an under ripe berry she would throw it to the chickens.

Charlie enjoyed all of our berry picking, and would sit under the raspberry bushes and bat at our legs and feet as we picked.  He's been kind of a nuisance actually, and unless he gets his share of love and attention he is very persistent with his demands.  I'd say I yell his name almost as much as his three human sisters!  Almost.  And at our house that equates to a much loved member of our family.

Also part of our family, if but temporarily, are a bunch of toads, four tadpoles that are almost frogs, and a couple of black swallowtail butterflies.  We found caterpillars in our garden and decided to put them in our netted butterfly garden to help protect them until they became butterflies.  One by one, they all turned into chrysalises after eating an amazing amount of dill we picked for them from our garden.  The first four chrysalises hatched into beautiful black swallowtail butterflies.  We learned from our field guide books that the first butterfly was a female and the next three were males.  Charlie unfortunately injured the female when we released her but the silver lining was that Lucy got to play with her for an entire day.  We locked Charlie in the garage for the release of the next three and after they fanned their wings for a bit on our finger, they flew away.

The netted butterfly garden sat in the center of our dining room table and we observed them in every stage of metamorphosis.  After some emotional months at our house as we came to terms with Violet's diagnosis, it was so nice to have such a beautiful reminder of the miracle and beauty of nature in the center of our house.  Then we started to get wasps in our house.  The first wasp was on the bed when I was getting Violet up from her nap and stung me several times.  Picture me swatting at the wasp with a book, yelling "DIE! DIE! DIE" while Violet clapped her hands excitedly, thinking I was putting on a show for her.  I cannot even begin to describe the mama bear instinct that was fueling my adrenaline - imagining if that wasp had stung Violet!  The wasp eventually died but I was uneasy still.  I had Will check the house for cracks or nests to try and figure out how the wasp got in the house.  The next morning we woke up and found the same kind of wasp in the butterfly garden.  We let it go outside but the following day there was another wasp.  Finally it occurred to us to do some research and we discovered that there is a parasitic wasp that lays their eggs in the caterpillar and it doesn't emerge until the caterpillar goes into it's chrysalis.  At that point, the caterpillar becomes the wasp's first food until it emerges as a full grown wasp at the same time the butterfly would have hatched.  Talk about a major shock to our feelings of hope and beauty that these butterflies had brought to our house.  Especially since we were viewing this process with so much meaning and symbolism.  After some serious thought and discussion with a wise mentor, I have decided that the emergence of the wasps did not trump the symbolism.  In fact, I believe this experience is even more symbolic to our family.  The fact that this is not heaven, but earth and that yes there is great beauty, but there is great unjustness and pain too.  This is not heaven may seem obvious to you, but to me, this was a break through moment as I come to terms with the unfairness of two of my four children having rare birth defects.  As unfair as it seems, I am now coming to terms with the fact that on earth there is yin and yang in all things and that both play an integral, necessary part.

And so, here is more of the yin and the yang.  While Lucy and Emma have no qualms about honey bees or caterpillars or playing with frogs, they are very fashion conscious.  Here they are below applying make up to each other with a set of metallic crayons, some water and an empty tic tac container.  I have no idea how the tic tac container plays into this, but somehow it does.  In the bottom left hand picture below Will is proudly displaying his painted toes.  

Will has been cleaning out the upstairs of our garage as part of his bucket list (don't worry, to him this is fun) and the girls capitalized on this and made a play area in an otherwise off limits part of our garage.  They loved it up there until the weather started heating up and it felt like 100 degrees under those rafters.

The girls and I enjoyed lots of treat making this past month from granola bars to rice crispy treats, fresh squeezed cherry limeade, and homemade chocolate cookie ice cream sandwiches.  Take a guess whose bucket list those items checked off!

Will also fixed the dryer and I proudly watched, feeling a renewed sense of why I am so lucky to have married him.  Fix something yourself so I don't have to pay $100/hour to a repair guy who doesn't take off his shoes when he treks across my carpet and I will swear undying love to you for the rest of my days!  In all seriousness, I am in awe and appreciation of Will's talent of fixing just about anything.  He also figured out how to install a recessed light in the china cabinet he installed when we moved in five years ago.  To make these home improvement tasks even sweeter, I enjoyed watching Emma have fun helping Will.  I'm not going to lie, it would make me so proud if our kids got even a fraction of Will's home improvement abilities.

We took lots of walks this past month to our favorite places - the library, the post office, the bank and the cemetery by our house.  

 We enjoyed picnics at the property north of us that I have some of my bee hives at this year, and we also enjoyed exploring the area near the property, visiting my cousin's roadside stand and a barn filled with antiques. Both Will's and my parents joined us for picnics at the bee yard too, adding to the feeling of fun.  In the bottom center picture, is my cousin and I, both beekeepers.  Neither of us would have guessed this shared love when we were kids growing up together!

Something that has been on my bucket list for many years is to have a table at a craft show.  This year I signed up for my first show - the Honey Festival in a town about an hour away.  It was a ton of work prepping for it and I learned so many things.  My family was amazingly supportive and helped me from wrapping my yard signs in kraft paper to helping me make hundreds of clay seed bombs in an assembly line fashion to sell along with my yard signs.  The morning of the show Lucy almost made me cry when I confessed that I was nervous.  She told me, "Mom, the hardest part is showing up and you already did that.  No matter what you sell, we will always be proud of you."  This is similar to what I told her and Emma before their dance recital and I have to say that I had no idea that those words would help me too.

My sister in law shared the table with me and sold her lovely embroidered necklaces.  Neither of us sold very much, but Lucy had a bucket of rubber band bracelets that she had made and she sold out!  It was crazy chaotic with six kids six and under between my sister in law and I, but made entirely possible by our wonderfully supportive husbands who kept the kids happy the entire day.  After the show was over, I treated the whole family to ice cream for dinner.  It was an amazing day, despite selling less than I had hoped, and I can hardly believe how lucky I am to have such a supportive husband and kids.

While we were out of town for the honey festival Lucy lost a tooth.  Fortunately we had the inspiration to leave a note on a paper plate in the window of our hotel room so that the tooth fairy still found us.  Lucy lost a total of FOUR teeth this past month and has the cutest little grin now.

Once the Honey Festival was over we enjoyed lots of social visits with friends and family.  I am quite nervous of the look that Lucy and her friend gave me in the bottom right hand picture.

We enjoyed a program put on by our local downtown business development called Outdoor Explorers this past month, where thirty-some participating businesses offered collectible pins upon completion of summery, fun activities.  In the bottom pictures the girls met a fire fighter, made a musical instrument, drew a picture of a butterfly...

 …made sock puppets, found out the name of a favorite statue at the library, made macaroni art and put their hair in a crazy hairdo.  It was a great way to get out to lots of businesses we would have never had on our daily path and it was a fun activity that we did with friends.

We also did tie dye for the first time with friends and had a great time, despite me having green hands for several days afterwards.

I attended a retro themed wedding shower and wore a 1950's apron I had found at an antique store, enjoyed a mini Farmer's Market in our downtown, attended the Lavender Festival with a friend and ran into several more friends while there, and the girls had fun at Fairy Princess Dance camp.

 We enjoyed several birthday parties...

 …and celebrated our 11th wedding anniversary as well.  This past year has not been an easy one for Will and I dealing with Violet's issues, my broken tailbone, homeschooling and Will's crazy work schedule.  Because of this, Will's time off this past month has been an appreciated time for us to reconnect as a family and to just relax and have fun together.  Will and I managed to get out a couple of times without the kids and enjoyed some picnics and bike rides almost as carefree as our days before kids but definitely much, much more appreciated!

Eleven years, one halo and five pairs of shoes later, we are ever so grateful for the life that we have, and for each other too.  If I never check another item off of my bucket list, I will still have accomplished more than I could have ever imagined with my mate in life and my four beautiful children.  Life is tough but life is also good.  The yin, the yang and the metamorphosis.

Violet at 15 Months

Violet's personality has really blossomed this past month!  She seems to understand what we are talking about, and is getting really good at telling us what she wants.  In the below picture we were eating lunch at a local restaurant with friends.  Violet was getting loud and agitated in her high chair so in order to save what was left of the meal, I took her out and seated her on my lap.  I handed her a french fry and she almost rudely took the french fry, pushed my hand away and leaned over to my plate and dipped it in ketchup!  From then on she ate contentedly, as long as each bite of food she was able to dip!

From that moment on, if she sees us dipping food, she insists on partaking as well.  Here she is below enjoying hummus.

Also new this month is her interest in using utensils.  She is surprisingly good at spearing her food with a fork and getting the food into her mouth.  She still has a ways to go on using a spoon but that doesn't stop her from trying.  She is very adept at imitating us, and is extremely motivated, no matter how difficult.  Here she is below trying to walk in Lucy's flip flops.  Violet has a new found interest in shoes and loves bringing the shoes to their respective owners when she isn't trying to wear them herself.

Violet wants to ride her big sisters bikes so very much.  Here she is below trying to make Emma's ziggle work.  She pretty much just uses it like a walker and walks while pushing it.

We found a great bike for Violet at a friend's garage sale this past month and she is so proud to finally ride a bike with her sisters.

Violet loves reading books and can focus for quite some time.  I found her the other day, laying in her room, reading a pile of books and just relaxing under the ceiling fan.

Ironically though, if I try to read a book to her sisters, she turns into an attention monster and tries ripping the book out of my hand, climbing into my lap and screaming while jumping up and down and just makes herself a general nuisance to the point where my voice reading the story cannot be heard over her fussing.  Her older sisters story time isn't the only thing she destroys.  Here she is below leveling an entire community of ants.

She is not afraid of bugs and has been known to pick up beetles and other insects and even put them in her mouth.  The other day she picked up a honey bee on our driveway and got stung.  It took her by surprise and I felt so sorry for her.   After applying all of my bee sting remedies and calming down my own mom guilt, I am happy to report that I can now say all five members of my earthly family are not allergic to honey bees which is a relief.  I haven't seen Violet play with bugs since, so I'm not sure if the sting ruined her innocence with insects, which of course makes me sad too.  For now I think she is sticking to more safe, inanimate objects like pebbles and wood chips.  In the below picture she is sampling a garden variety wood chip.

I swear we feed her actual food and I am happy to report that her lactose and corn allergies seem to be clearing up.  Lucy and Emma both began tolerating dairy around 15 months, and so Violet is right on track.  It is so nice to put a dash of milk in our scrambled eggs again instead of water and be able to feed Violet everything that we are eating.  In the pictures below, she is enjoying coconut ice cream cones as I've still been introducing dairy to her diet slowly.

Not only does Violet imitate our actions, but also our words.  She can repeat anything we ask her to and we have documented the following new words: "tickle tickle" as she pokes at us, "no", "mine", "bawk bawk"when she hears or sees our chickens, "argh argh" when she hears or sees a dog, "Arlie" for Charlie and "wa-wa" for water.  She still refers to both of her sisters as "ma" and of course still calls Will and I "Dada" and "Mama".

 This past month we have spent a lot of time outdoors and because of that, Violet has developed an excitement for airplanes.  She is the first to hear them and she will start pointing at the sky and then squealing when she finally sees the airplane.  This is fun and exciting for the whole family to join in with her and share her interest.

 Violet has also started throwing full-fledged fits this past month which has taken us all by surprise.  How did our sweet little baby become a toddler so fast?  Right now her fits are still adorable to us and fortunately can be redirected fairly fast.  Usually they are more prevalent if she is tired or hungry so that has given us incentive to stay on a fairly predictable schedule, to avoid the fireworks if we can help it!  Here she is below, finishing off a nap at home, after she fell asleep on a stroller walk.  You better believe I parked that stroller, grabbed my lap top and got some wonderful work done at the picnic table next to her.

Violet's sleep is still worse than a newborn, but we are finding ways to cope.  Will has been taking the first shift of the night since he's had the month of July off of work, which has helped my energy levels.  Here he is below watching Jimmy Fallon while holding our sleeping girl.

I have to say that Will as gotten to be a pro at getting Violet to sleep and I will miss his abilities when he goes back to work on Monday after his month vacation.  This past week we had our appointment for Violet at Children's Hospital and he was even able to get her to take a nap in between doctors.

Violet did very well at her appointment and we are now waiting for our insurance to approve some blood tests.  As of right now they believe that the main challenges facing Violet with her new diagnosis of Ectodermal Dysplasia are her teeth, and her reduced sweating abilities.  They are hesitant to say that she doesn't sweat at all, and so Will and I are hopeful that as she gets older we will see signs of sweating.  In the meantime, it will be a wait and see approach as to how many teeth she will get (she currently has 5) and we will continue to monitor her body temperature to ensure that she doesn't over heat.  I have heard from other families with ED children that once the child is able to communicate their body temperature needs that things get a lot easier.  So, with that being said I have been working with Violet to tell me when she is hot.  If we are washing our hands and the water is hot, I tell her hot, over and over.  If the slide is hot, I have her touch it and I say hot over and over.  If the food is hot, and on and on.  I am happy to report that my favorite word that Violet has learned this month is "Hot" and that she uses it in all of the appropriate settings.  Here's to life improving for Violet from here on out!

No Free Rides in June

I'm starting to realize that quiet months just do not exist when you have three kids and a suburban farm.  We do find our pockets of rest and relaxation, but for the most part, something is always going on around here! School is done for the summer, so we celebrated at the local frozen yogurt bar with friends, and enjoyed a summer mini market in our downtown as well.

Lucy and Emma had their dance recital this past month, which was a great experience.  The studio we are a part of is such a positive family environment and has made a big impact on my girls.  Emma had stage fright at the Holiday Show they participated in this past December and at the last minute didn't go on stage.  I tread very lightly on that experience, as she was just getting over a horrible flu and I didn't want it to scare her from ever trying again.  Will and I made sure to emphasize that we were not disappointed in her, and would be proud of her no matter if she went on stage or not.  This was a fine line though, because I also want her to understand that when you commit to something and other people are depending on you, that you need to follow through.  So we talked about how showing up is sometimes the hardest thing you can do, but that once you show up, you will be so glad you did.  Emma would casually mention that when she was four, she would go on stage.  As the recital approached, and Emma was now four, she would still tell us, "When I am four, I will go on stage.""I would nervously remind her that she already is four.  Emma would respond with an embarrassed laugh while saying "Oh, yeah."  Well, Emma was true to her word and went on stage with bravery and excitement.  Both girls danced their hearts out, and I think now understand the amazing feeling that comes from performing and trying your very best.

My favorite part of the entire experience was meeting Lucy and Emma at the stage door as they exited from their performance.  Their faces were lit up like Christmas trees, with smiles so wide they brought tears to my eyes.  It was an amazing feeling, watching my girls learn that with hard work and great courage comes great joy.   They had so much fun back stage too.  Lucy told me it was like having a giant sleep over.

The weekend was definitely a peak on this parenting journey, and I think the grandparents enjoyed it as well.

The recital is over, so it's back to the backyard for us.  The girls picked bouquets, made a sidewalk chalk city, used bubble solution and mopped the garage floor for us while putting on a Cinderella-esque musical, and put in lots of time on the swing.  Charlie likes to live on the edge and sit under the girls as they swing which makes me nervous but so far no cats have been harmed.

As part of our summer fun, I bought a popsicle maker and a set of slush makers.  We've eaten homemade popsicles and slushes almost every day and have tried all sorts of flavor combinations including strawberry greek yogurt, orange creamsicle, apple cider and raspberry lemonade - as both popsicles and slushes.  We also have played in the kiddie pool in our backyard, made comfortable by boiling two stock pots of water on the stove and then dumping them in to the pool. 

Picking berries was a daily pastime that at the beginning of the month was pure fun, but by the end of the month became a chore.  We made strawberry rhubarb jam, smoothies, popsicles and desserts with our berry bounty.

One morning I felt inspired to make strawberry shortcake for breakfast.  Everything was running smoothly (read: Violet was allowing me to cook) until I realized we didn't have enough eggs.  I sent Lucy out to the coop to collect some but there weren't any eggs laid yet that morning.  An hour later, as we waited for a chicken - any chicken - to lay an egg, we realized that a watched hen won't lay, and that there is no shame in asking to borrow an egg from a neighbor, even if said neighbor knows you have a dozen chickens.  And of course, while we enjoyed our mid-morning strawberry shortcake breakfast outside, we heard at least three different chickens lay eggs.

We have enjoyed many a breakfast, lunch and dinner outside this past month and I even ate an entire meal from my backyard which consisted of a salad with roasted chicken, strawberries and lettuce.  It was such a satisfying meal, made special by my gratitude of knowing where each ingredient came from and the work (and sacrifice in the case of the chicken) that went into it.  Charlie has enjoyed our outdoor eating, and has been known to swipe meat off of the table.  You should have heard us all hollering when he swiped a piece of bacon!  CHARLIE!!!  Bad kitty!!!  Will and I always joke that serving bacon qualifies as a math lesson at our house as everyone is always asking, "How many pieces of bacon a person?"  "How many pieces did you eat Emma?"  "Lucy, you had three pieces already!"  There is no forgiveness for a cat when you are splitting a pound of bacon amongst five people.

We've enjoyed outside crafting at our picnic table this past month...

…and I even got in some crafting of my own.  Ironically, while I was making homemade bug spray with a friend, Emma was playing outside and got multiple bug bites.  Here I am below, smearing the bowl residue from the homemade bug spray onto Emma's bitten up arms with a spatula.  In the bottom picture, two unnamed helpers are observing safety measures while mixing up a homemade sunscreen and will both probably shoot me because I posted this picture.  I feel at least as bullet proof as the water proof sunscreen, as their identities are safely hidden by the kitchen towels tied to their faces.

We celebrated Father's Day this past month and had a nice, quiet day at home.  In the top left hand picture, Will is opening his Father's Day gifts from the girls in Emma's bed - where he spent half the night because Emma had a bad dream and was woken up bright and early because the girls were so excited to give him the gifts they made.  Ah, fatherhood!  In the right hand picture below, Will is dumping out the old pond water from our tadpoles so that he can replace it with fresh pond water.  Yup, fatherhood sure is glamorous!  

We planted summer flowers at the cemetery this past month and couldn't help but wonder what excitement Luke would have added to our summer.  Even seven years later, we still miss him every day.  Violet is starting to know Luke's name and the other day when I was rocking her to sleep she started staring off into space as a big smile spread across her face.  For some reason I thought to ask her if she saw Lukey, and she looked at me and nodded her head yes.  Who knows for sure, but I do hope Luke makes his presence known to her like he does to the rest of his family members.

We registered the girls for the summer reading program at our library.  In the top left hand picture below, the girls are observing the new automated book receiver at our library.  Clockwise from there, the girls are posing as super heroes at the library, reading at home, and enjoying an ice cream social at the library.

We took a one day vacation this past month to a town about an hour away and visited a really cool nature park complete with rescued wildlife that have been saved from various injuries.  Unlike a regular zoo, it was so interesting to see animals that are native to our own backyard - from coyotes and fox to bald eagles, hawks, vultures and even a porcupine, bobcat and wolves.  I had never seen any of these animals up close, and I was taken aback by how human some of the facial expressions and eyes were.  The bobcat was scarily similar to Charlie too.

After spending some time at the nature park, we headed down the road to a Hot Air Balloon Festival.  What an amazing experience that was!

It was a perfect day weather wise - not too hot, and beautiful blue skies.  We watched the balloons fill up and launch, one by one just yards from where we were standing.  As we headed back for home, we could still see the balloons up in the sky as we drove.  Our happy glow was soon popped by Violet's epic car screaming, causing us all to wonder if the day and the drive was worth the torture of hearing Violet's high pitched protest for a solid hour to get back home.  In the bottom right hand picture below, I found the girl's rainbow breaths from yoga class in the side door of the car.  The girl's used their affirmations written on their rainbow breaths to help get through the screaming emitting from their sister's car seat.  Now that we are home, we all agree that it was definitely worth the price our ears paid, and we are hoping to go back again next year.

Speaking of Violet's epic screaming.  Violet was sick for about a week this past month, and it was definitely a practice in patience for me.  Picture having a fever, but not having the ability to regulate your body temperature when you are healthy.  It was pure misery for our poor girl, and there was nothing I could do to ease her crying.  Emma caught a mild version of the bug but mostly threw random fever fits and even took a nap in the middle of the backyard.  Let's just say that I am glad we are all healthy again!

 The girls are growing so fast, and I want to savor every moment.  Except for when they have fevers.  Or are fighting with each other.  In the top left hand picture below, Lucy and Emma are working out their differences in a time out together.  Fortunately the good times outweigh the struggles.  Lucy now refers to Emma as her best friend, which could possibly be one of the best things I have ever heard.  Violet loves holding Lucy and Emma's hands while walking, and there have even been several occasions this past month where all three of them were playing together.

Parenting has helped me realize that there is no free ride.  Not to a balloon fest, and definitely not to having your daughters refer to each other as best friends.  I am happy to report that the price is definitely worth it, and with a little time and the golden haze of memory, I may even think I got a good deal!

Violet and Me at 14 Months

Violet is as busy as ever, and loves being outside.  Lately she has been pretty cranky and clingy when inside, so we are happy that there is a venue that she can be content in!  She loves carrying around sidewalk chalk in a little blue bucket and when she gets outside, the first thing she does is find her bucket and a piece of chalk to tote around.

Violet helped finish off the school year with her older sisters, by demanding to do schoolwork too!  Here she is below at the table while her older sisters do their work beside her.

If it's possible, Violet's sleep has gotten even worse.  We are trying to remind ourselves that this too shall pass.  In the meantime, we are soaking in our cuddle time with Violet, as when she isn't sleepy the last thing she wants to do is cuddle!

My favorite thing to do after an especially rough night with Violet is to enjoy an afternoon nap with her.  She snuggles so perfect into me and we both fall asleep almost instantly!  Life with Violet is full of extremes - exhaustion juxtaposed with cuddles, crankiness diluted by cuteness, and feistiness softened by her sweetness.  

This past month has been full of growth for me as Violet's mom.  We have been learning more about Ectodermal Dysplasia, and have been welcomed into a small, but extremely caring group of individuals at the National Foundation for Ectodermal Dysplasia.  This is a rare genetic condition but with education, manageable.  I know that parents receive far worse diagnoses.  WE have received far worse diagnoses about our child.  However, I still feel as though I am going through a grieving process.  I am frustrated that we have another child who isn't textbook healthy.  I am sad to know what type of pain and challenges Violet will have to deal with throughout her life.  My heart hurts when I think about how this could affect her self-esteem.  I am worried that her beautiful smile will disappear as the world tells her that she is different.  I have been irrationally trying to figure out what we did wrong - from cell phone radiation to not filtering our water.

BUT.  I rationally know that we did nothing wrong.  I also know that all of this is out of my control.  God is in control, and Violet is just as she is meant to be.  I also believe that God has already given Violet all of the strength and tenacity she needs to face her unique life and to flourish, happy and whole.  Several things have occurred to me this past month as I wrestled with our new knowledge about our sweet baby girl.  Violet is the feistiest, most out-going child I have - it's as if her personality was made to thrive with a diagnosis like this.  Several times my usually uncuddly girl has walked over to me while I was talking about Ectodermal Dysplasia to a sympathetic ear, climbed into my arms and given me the biggest hug while patting me on the back.  As if she was trying to say, "Mom, I got this.  Everything's going to be okay."  She has done the same thing to Will when he talks about her diagnosis to someone.  How she knows we are talking about it is amazing to us.  

And so, I am coming to the tough but revolutionary (for me) realization that my role in Violet's life, no matter what she faces, is not to try and take the pain and suffering from her, but to be her coach, her biggest fan, and her mom, who loves her unconditionally.  I will be her soft place to land.  But she's got this.

Everything is as it should be.  And my girl is no shrinking violet.  I am in awe of this child, and am both grateful and honored to be her mom and to walk this path with her.  She has taught me so much already, these past 14 months.