Violet and Me at 14 Months

Violet is as busy as ever, and loves being outside.  Lately she has been pretty cranky and clingy when inside, so we are happy that there is a venue that she can be content in!  She loves carrying around sidewalk chalk in a little blue bucket and when she gets outside, the first thing she does is find her bucket and a piece of chalk to tote around.

Violet helped finish off the school year with her older sisters, by demanding to do schoolwork too!  Here she is below at the table while her older sisters do their work beside her.

If it's possible, Violet's sleep has gotten even worse.  We are trying to remind ourselves that this too shall pass.  In the meantime, we are soaking in our cuddle time with Violet, as when she isn't sleepy the last thing she wants to do is cuddle!

My favorite thing to do after an especially rough night with Violet is to enjoy an afternoon nap with her.  She snuggles so perfect into me and we both fall asleep almost instantly!  Life with Violet is full of extremes - exhaustion juxtaposed with cuddles, crankiness diluted by cuteness, and feistiness softened by her sweetness.  

This past month has been full of growth for me as Violet's mom.  We have been learning more about Ectodermal Dysplasia, and have been welcomed into a small, but extremely caring group of individuals at the National Foundation for Ectodermal Dysplasia.  This is a rare genetic condition but with education, manageable.  I know that parents receive far worse diagnoses.  WE have received far worse diagnoses about our child.  However, I still feel as though I am going through a grieving process.  I am frustrated that we have another child who isn't textbook healthy.  I am sad to know what type of pain and challenges Violet will have to deal with throughout her life.  My heart hurts when I think about how this could affect her self-esteem.  I am worried that her beautiful smile will disappear as the world tells her that she is different.  I have been irrationally trying to figure out what we did wrong - from cell phone radiation to not filtering our water.

BUT.  I rationally know that we did nothing wrong.  I also know that all of this is out of my control.  God is in control, and Violet is just as she is meant to be.  I also believe that God has already given Violet all of the strength and tenacity she needs to face her unique life and to flourish, happy and whole.  Several things have occurred to me this past month as I wrestled with our new knowledge about our sweet baby girl.  Violet is the feistiest, most out-going child I have - it's as if her personality was made to thrive with a diagnosis like this.  Several times my usually uncuddly girl has walked over to me while I was talking about Ectodermal Dysplasia to a sympathetic ear, climbed into my arms and given me the biggest hug while patting me on the back.  As if she was trying to say, "Mom, I got this.  Everything's going to be okay."  She has done the same thing to Will when he talks about her diagnosis to someone.  How she knows we are talking about it is amazing to us.  

And so, I am coming to the tough but revolutionary (for me) realization that my role in Violet's life, no matter what she faces, is not to try and take the pain and suffering from her, but to be her coach, her biggest fan, and her mom, who loves her unconditionally.  I will be her soft place to land.  But she's got this.

Everything is as it should be.  And my girl is no shrinking violet.  I am in awe of this child, and am both grateful and honored to be her mom and to walk this path with her.  She has taught me so much already, these past 14 months.