Cautiously Optimistic in January

We had high hopes for January of 2021 although we didn't dare write New Year resolutions or goals, as we learned in 2020 that life mostly has other plans.  We decided to approach the new year cautiously optimistic and try to be as flexible as possible while hoping for the best.  On New Year's Day we had a peregrine falcon, which we've never seen in the almost eleven years that we have lived here, swoop into our chicken run and kill our chicken named Ivy.  We were all traumatized, and although Will scared the falcon away, it stalked around our coop for days, waiting to try again, since it's first attempt at a meal was thwarted.  Our surviving six chickens were also traumatized, and did not leave their coop for at least a week.  We decided to string lines across the top of their run and I found my fiercest fabric - a cheetah print from an old Halloween costume - and cut the fabric into strips to tie on the line.  This seems to have done the trick and we haven't seen the falcon since.  Either way, I couldn't help but feel that this was not a good way to start our New Year.

A few days later I was taking a bath to help ease a low back ache I've been dealing with and Will sent me the below photo. Somehow the tub had sprung a leak and was leaking through a two story wall straight into our basement - water was pouring by the gallon from the basement ceiling.  We had a contractor out and a mold remediation company and the good news is the leak was a once time occurrence and Will was able to fix the plumbing issue himself.  Of course this happened on a weekend and so we didn't know the outcome until Monday and we really were bracing for the worst financially and as well as what would be involved to fix the problem.

To round out the trifecta of struggles this past month, on his way home from work, Will's car dropped the exhaust pipe - but the muffler was still attached - and so was dragging metal from the bottom of his vehicle.  He had to pull over into the nearest parking lot and figure out how to get home.  He ended up walking a ways to a Target (after a closer attempt at a JoAnn fabric resulted in him trying to use jewelry wire to tie the car part back on but the result was too flimsy) and bought some ratchet straps.  Keep in mind it was about 22 degrees Fahrenheit that day.  The ratchet straps did the trick, but he had to get into the driver's seat from the back door.  Thankfully, this turned out okay too, as the auto shop at his school was able to fix it for minimal cost the next day.  

All in all, we were a little battered and bruised this past month.  So, we did what we could to take good care of ourselves.  First up was a shopping trip to a real mall.  I haven't been inside of a mall since the pandemic started, but there were essential things that were adding up on a long list of things we needed that are just easier to purchase in person than online.  So, after a dentist appointment of Violet's, with Will off work for the day to watch the other kids, Violet and I went shopping.  It was so nice, despite Violet not appreciating this excursion like Lucy would have.  I made it up to Violet by buying her (and her sisters at home) some hot pretzels on the way out of the mall, and I made it up to Lucy by taking her to a greenhouse by our house.  It was a cold and snowy day when we went shopping for plants, and it was comical to see all of the other customers also using the warmth of the greenhouse and the green of the plants as therapy on this winter day too.

In fact, shopping for plants in January made us so happy, that I am going to plan on doing this every January.  Snuggling Charlie is also top on my list of things that make me feel better.  I swear a cat's purring is therapeutic and someday (if this hasn't been studied already) I think they will find that the vibration that purring cats give off IS in fact healing.  In the top left photo below, Charlie is in his favorite spot when we aren't cuddling him - on a table outside our front window with a good view of the TV.  He especially enjoys the shows that Opal likes.

We did some crafts this past month, which is always therapeutic.  In the bottom, right hand photo below, Emma has zipped herself into a sweatshirt of Will's that was hanging on the back of a chair.  Maybe the straightjacket feel was therapeutic to her?

Games and yoga were also great ways to find joy...

As was a warm and sweet cup of hot chocolate after playing outside in the cold.  in the bottom left hand photo below, Emma is offering me a blue PlayDoh cake.  

In the photos below in clockwise order from top left: The girls cutting out rolls of kraft paper to determine where some new desks we are hoping to get for them will go, Violet and Opal with an art store set up in their play tent, Emma with some dominoes, and finally, the girls with construction paper hats that they were inspired to make after watching Gabby's Dollhouse with Opal on Netflix.

We got outside almost every single day, and loved the fact that there was snow to play in, as going outside without snow when it is bitter cold is just not fun.  In the bottom, left hand photo below, Emma is sliding down a hill on a hike, hoping her snow pants keep her gliding.

The girls made a huge snow fort in our backyard, and also froze ice balls by filling balloons with water and food dye.  We do this every year, and it is something to look forward to when the weather is super cold.

My kids discovered a super fun sledding hill with friends, and we tried to get out there as much as we could.

Will built me a shelf to go under the desk we made a few years ago with butcher block wood from Ikea and two metal filing cabinets.  The shelf looks so great, and has really helped me find space for all of the homeschooling materials we have.  The photos below in clockwise order from top left: the shelf Will built for me, a giant batch of zucchini muffins I made for the freezer to set up me with some easy breakfasts during the school week, two forks linked together in the clean dishwasher, and when I found them I called all four girls into the kitchen to see if any of them knew how this came to be and Emma answered, "There's where my band-aid went!"  And finally, Lucy with a chicken shaped waffle that had a little batter that cooked in exactly the right spot to make a rooster plume.

I've been pretty consumed by my new business, and my family has heard me talk about it non stop.  The other day I excitedly told Will I had an idea (in the blue convo below) and he panicked I was talking about another new business idea when in fact I was talking about the shelf I wanted him to make me.  Needless to say, he was relieved it was a shelf and not something needing another website.  Sometimes I wonder if my time would be better served in a Think Tank, as I love coming up with new ideas but definitely don't have the time or resources to execute them all.  Below are some of the bracelets for the care kits I will be selling, a rice-filled heat pack I will also be selling, and my notes that I am organizing for a chapter in the book I am writing.  

Sometimes I feel insecure about the ideas that I have and how to execute them, but I am trying to remind myself that it is better to put your ideas out there than to never try at all.  The point is in the making, and not in the end result.  I hope that my kids never hold back on their dreams because of the fear of failure, and I hope that if failure happens to me or to my kids, that we take the lessons we have learned, treasure the joy we had in the creating, and move on to the next creative project.  For me, life without creativity is life without joy.  And so I create, and I try to focus on the process and not the end result, and as I launch each project out into the world, I pray my feelings of vulnerability will not outweigh the joy I had in the creating.

January had it's way with us it seems, but all things considering, it could have been worse.  February has historically been a tough month for me since Luke died, so I am hoping all other aspects of life go easy on me as I navigate the month that holds so many significant dates for Luke, the boy I will never stop missing.