Merry Christmas

Christmas with Lucy was definitely a happy day, but not without our moments of sadness missing Luke. It means so much to us, all of our family and friends that were not afraid to remember Luke by name this Christmas and to help us keep his memory alive. Truly, your kindness towards us as we continue to miss our Luke means more than we could ever say.

We are still having a hard time accepting the fact that there is nothing on earth that will ever fill the void of missing Luke. No matter how happy Lucy has made us, she does not replace her older brother - and we wouldn't want her to either. She is her own person, our second born. Last Christmas Will and I had a hard time getting through the holidays. This year was easier, and we were able to start some holiday traditions that included Luke. I made stockings for both Luke and Lucy with their names on it. On Christmas Eve, we filled Lucy's stocking with presents and filled Luke's stocking with a letter written by Will and I. Each year we will write our son a letter, recapping our year without him, and telling him how much we love him. When Lucy is old enough, she can draw him a picture and put it in his stocking to help remember him by. For Christmas, Will gave me a beautiful necklace with Luke's birthstone on it. Lucy wore the necklace pinned on her dress over her heart to represent her brother in heaven when we had her Christmas pictures taken. It's times like that - Christmas pictures, hanging our stockings, and all of our other family traditions - that we really miss Luke.

The below picture was taken on Christmas Eve with Lucy in her PJ's, gesturing just how many presents she thought Santa was going to bring her.

Here Lucy is trying to figure out how to open her present from Santa.

Lucy found the boxes her toys came in even more interesting than the toys themselves!
By the end of the day, Will and I were the ones opening Lucy's presents. I think she was a little over stimulated by it all!

After opening presents at our house Christmas morning, we headed out to the cemetery to visit Luke and to decorate his grave blanket with Christmas ornaments. The weather was less than ideal. It was pouring rain and freezing cold. After we put the ornaments on his grave blanket, Will and I huddled with Lucy under our umbrella as we talked to Luke. All of a sudden a huge gust of wind surrounded us. It was so strong we had to put the umbrella sideways to keep the rain off of us. We felt like it was Luke wrapping us in a hug with the wind. It definitely choked us up. But then the wind wouldn't let up, and was literally pushing us towards our car. I think Luke wanted us to know that he is still with us, but that he wanted to see us get on with our day and enjoy Christmas with Lucy. We got the message and got out of the rain and headed to Grandma's house.
Lastly, here are some of the Christmas pictures we had taken of Lucy.

I like to think in this picture below, Lucy is looking up at Luke in Heaven.

This last one is a favorite of mine - to me it captures the joy of Christmas through a child's eyes.

Merry Christmas!