Tears and Gratitude in June

Will started off the month of June by slowly passing a kidney stone.  It took about a week of discomfort, until we ended up leaving a friend's birthday party to head straight to the ER.  The kids had never gone with us to the ER for a kidney stone, as we have always had a bit of time to get someone to come over to watch them before we had to leave.  There was no time for that once the pain really hit Will, and so we all took him to the ER and the girls waited with us until my sister could pick them up.  It is very stressful to see someone you love in that level of pain, and our kids all reacted differently.  Lucy was white faced and religious, praying Hail Mary's the entire time.  Emma was white-faced and silent and looked as though she would puke at any moment.  Violet could care less, and asked questions like, "Are you wearing underwear daddy?" while pointing to his hospital gown.  She also made it known that she was upset about missing the cake at the birthday party, and that she was in fact, still hungry.  Here is Will's text message to his family after he passed the stone.

Funny enough, he passed the stone minutes after we got home from the ER.  This was excellent news, as in the past, stones that were this large and painful, usually needed surgery to get them out.  We were so relieved, but no one more relieved than Will, as the very next day he had to give the commencement speech at his high school.  This is something that Will doesn't enjoy, as he is nervous with public speaking, but I think the pain meds still in his system made this his best speech yet.

We have lost count as to how many kidney stones Will has passed in the last thirteen years, but the good news is that his kidneys seem to only have one or two left in them.  The feeling of gratitude that I had the night we came home from the ER, knowing that he passed the stone and that we didn't have the long road of surgeries ahead of us was so great that I honestly can say I fell asleep that night and will always remember it as one of the happiest moments of my life.  Sounds dramatic, but we really lucked out this time, especially comparing it to previous experiences.  To have him next to me, pain-free and not in the hospital but in our bed, with our babies sleeping in the rooms next to us is priceless.  It really is true that gratitude is the surest way to happiness.  

The glow of gratitude persisted for several weeks after that, and we had a lovely month of play.  Below are my kids in their happy place, painting outside with me as their assistant.  Their job was to create, and my job was to make sure there was an endless supply of paint, fresh paper, and a place to dry their masterpieces.  We borrowed our neighbor's clothesline and I think it made his day too to see the artwork.  He noticed that each girl had her own style - one did still life, another impressionist and another, realist.  I had to laugh when I realized he was right!  The girls also enjoyed playing with various measuring cups and beakers with water and colored tablets outside as well.  There was more sharing and patience required for that activity compared to painting, but it was still a happy experience overall.

Lots of swinging, crafts at the picnic table, baby doll picnics, water balloon throwing with the neighbor (adorable because it never occurred to any of the four girls to actually throw the balloons at each other - they were content to see the splashes when the balloons hit the driveway), and popsicles.

We had snacks and meals outside, enjoyed the slip and slide, sidewalk chalk and I even found a mermaid bathing in my bird bath - see bottom, left hand picture below.

We found toads and caterpillars in our yard, and played with the toads and put the caterpillars in our butterfly garden and then watched them turn into a chrysalis and then emerge as a beautiful butterfly that we released into our yard.

Our berries were in full bloom this past month, where we finished off the strawberry crop, and started in on the blueberry and raspberry crops.  We also enjoyed peas straight from the vine, and the kids got a kick out of the cute little peas all in a row when they peeled the shells open.

I did lots of baking including waffles in bulk, strawberry shortcake, strawberry jam (Will mostly took on the jam making), strawberry rhubarb pie, oatmeal cookies in bulk, and my first peach cobbler of the season.

We still had school to finish up in June, and our goal was to end the same day that our friends in the local school district ended.  We made it, but we did have to double up on some subjects to pull it off.  Here the kids are below in clockwise order from top left:  Violet at her very first swim lesson, Lucy holding the certificate showing that she passed a level in swim, Emma and Violet modeling matching swimsuits, Violet in the car excited to go to swim class, the girls doing schoolwork, and Lucy and Emma's last day of vacation bible school.  

Violet took four swim classes this past month, after almost an entire year of watching her two sisters swim and wanting to swim so badly herself.  I wanted her to be old enough to communicate heating issues, as the pool deck and pool itself are quite warm.  At three, I believed she was finally old enough.  Unfortunately, her enthusiasm for swim faded fast, and Will and I are blaming the little boy in her class who was terrified to be in the class, and screamed and yelled for two straight classes.  Violet watched this in horror and decided that she no longer wanted to swim either.  On her fourth class it was all I could do to get her in the pool and on her fifth (and final) class, I gave up when she started screaming in fear herself.  I do not want her traumatized and three is still very young.  We will try again when she is older.  It is just sad to me to see the transition of her being so excited to so upset.

Lucy and Emma had their year end piano recital this past month and did very well.

They had started off the year with my longtime friend who had taught me piano ten years ago.  I stopped when Lucy was born, but promised myself that I would take lessons again - this time WITH Lucy and my friend as our teacher.  Ten years later, Lucy began taking lessons with Emma (budget purposes prioritized Emma over me!) but my friend was their teacher and it was such a great, full-circle moment.  Sadly, after a few months, my friend had to pass our lessons onto another teacher as she was in a battle for her life with cancer.  As much as we missed our friend, we were happy with the teacher we were passed to and developed a great relationship with her.  At the end of June, my friend passed away, leaving behind a devoted husband and three young sons.  The impact that she has had on me and my family is still being revealed, however what a gift to feel her presence every single time my kids play the piano.  She has left a legacy beyond average, and I am so grateful for the time I had with her in my life, and in my kids lives too.  The good news in this tragedy is that her smile is alive and well in her youngest son, the dimples in her middle son and the creativity of her oldest son.  I am honored to be a part of the boys life, and look forward to watching them grow into adulthood, knowing how proud my friend is of them.

Lucy and Emma also had their dance recital this past month and enjoyed taking pictures in our yard before the big day.

They did an excellent job, dancing to an instrumental version of "I've Got a Golden Ticket" from Willy Wonka.

Both grandparents made it to the show, and Violet did an excellent job cheering them on next to Will in the audience.  Added fun was sharing the backstage room with friends, and seeing their babysitter dance for the last time as she graduated this year.

The day after the dance recital was Father's Day, where we laid low and tried to spoil Will as best we could, considering how he never asks for anything and is hard to pin down when it comes to making him his favorite food or doing his favorite things.  He would much rather do for others, as seen below in the right hand picture when Violet yelled out the window that she wanted him to braid her hair.  Keep in mind I was standing right next to her and offered to do her hair, as Will was in the middle of a project outside.  But Will rarely says no to his girls (me included), and so lifted the screen on the window and reached in and braided her hair.  Violet also knows that Will does a better job at hair braiding.

We attended the funeral of my great uncle this past month, and as much as he will be missed, did find plenty of smiles through the tears as we visited with relatives we rarely see anymore.  He and his wife never were able to have kids of their own, but they had over 50 nieces and nephews and countless great nieces and nephews and great great nieces and nephews.  Not only did he know all of our names, but also knew all about each of us and was always a part of our lives.  In the top, left hand picture below is my mom with eight of her sixteen siblings.  Nine siblings together in one place is rare indeed, as they live all over the country and even the world.  My favorite pictures though are my girls playing with rose petals they found outside after the funeral luncheon, and Violet, giving my dad a "squeeze tight", after spotting my dad in a crowd of strangers at the funeral.

We celebrated Will's mom's and Will's grandma's birthdays this past month, my youngest God daughter's first birthday, as well as my youngest sister's (and oldest God daughter's) graduation from high school.

We spent time with friends new and old and I even got out for a date with a friend this past month too.

On too hot or too rainy of days, we played inside.  Below in clockwise order from the top left: Violet enjoying a snack in front of the air conditioner, Violet with her baby on her back, Violet, showing us how she took a piece of paper and some tape and fixed for herself a piece of wood she accidentally ripped off of the foot of our piano, the girls playing Barbies, the girls putting on a fashion show, the girls reading library books on the couch, and the center picture, the girls asking us from the window for a snack or tv - I don't remember which, but those are the things they always ask for.

The girls made a dog house out of an empty box and played dogs for several days, had a tea party, played play doh, cuddled, and listened to audio books together.  Not pictured below is sibling fighting, each girl taking turns being emotionally unstable and all three girls banding together to delay bedtime for as long as possible.

Violet enjoyed accessorizing her Barbie's hair, her hair, and cuddling me.  The top, right hand picture below is a disturbing and hilarious sight I found in our office/playroom this past month.  Evidence of why toddlers would make terrible mothers.

June was my last month to prep for the Lavender Festival I was going to have a booth at in July.  Last year at this time, I was so stressed out with everything I had to do for it.  This year was way better for two reasons:  I hired my youngest sister to help me out making products, and I planned better this year, knowing from last year how much inventory I needed and dividing up the work over the last twelve months.  What a difference it made!  I had to laugh when I texted my brother to remind him to bring a stamp he made of my logo and my sister in law text me back a picture of him driving, with the stamp in his fist - see top, left hand picture below.

Will of course helped with the prep work for the show as well, and even got stung multiple times after moving a wild hive a friend of mine had caught for me.  He was teased at work when during a meeting, coworkers noticed that the sleeve on one arm of his business shirt wasn't buttoned and what looked to be a catcher's mitt was dangling out of it.  His boss told him he didn't know if he was the dumbest or bravest person he had ever met when he found out that his swollen paw was from bees.  In the top, right hand picture below I am enjoying fresh honeycomb from one of my hives.  Truly, this is the best part of keeping bees and I have to say that there is no sweeter taste.

Because of my preplanning and my sister's help, there was plenty of time for fun this past month.  We had our annual tradition of strawberry slushies at the orchard by our house, visits to the playground and the library, as well as shopping at the craft store.  The two, top, right hand pictures below are Violet being goofy - one is her cooling off her cheeks with her cooling towel and the other is her using a carefully nibbled pretzel as a mustache.

We also had time for projects around the house and Will hung maps up in our office after he attached dowels to them to give them a vintage look, and also made me my birthday present from him - a trellis for the climbing rose bush my parents got me for my birthday.  You better believe that if this rose bush takes off like I am really hoping it does, that Harding Honey will have a new line of products - infused with roses!  You can't really tell from the pictures, but the trellis is made of (expensive) cedar instead of pressure treated wood so it will be all natural for my rose bush, but that also the part for the roses to climb on is made out of metal cattle fencing which turns out isn't that cheap either.  All told, this was a very pricey trellis and I am a very lucky girl that I can design my dreams and my husband will finance and build them.

At the end of the month we took a trip to a state park in Indiana where friends of ours were camping for the weekend.  

We had a lovely time, and still found plenty to do despite the intermittent rain showers that our iPhone weather forecast didn't say were going to happen!

One of the highlights for Lucy was finding a nest of baby toads outside the Inn that we stayed at.

They also enjoyed sipping fresh natural spring water from an artisan well in the state park, as well as riding a horse for the very first time.  None of the girls were that enthralled with the horseback ride experience, which Will and I are now saying was the best $12 we have ever spent, as horseback riding is expensive.

We enjoyed lots of yummy food, crafts, s'mores and even campfire pies with our friends as well as hikes and nature walks.

It was a beautiful time and we are so grateful to our friends for inviting us to join them.

This past month has had it's ups and downs and the loss of my friend is still sinking in hard for me.  I'm learning to no longer question WHY human nature is such that it takes suffering to have gratitude for joy, and that it takes loss to truly appreciate what you have.  This is human nature, and so I am learning to take the pain and embrace the joy that it also brings.  I always worry about losing family members, but in my mind, my friends were always safe.  Especially this friend, who was so healthy and strong.  Life is short, precious and not guaranteed, no matter how needed and irreplaceable each of us are.  Thank you to my friend for teaching me so many things, but especially, secrets to a life well lived.  I'm not sure what I will do without your listening ear, your wisdom and your friendship, but I am starting to realize that you have introduced me to so many wonderful people that I now consider dear friends too, and I believe that the friends you have shared with me was one of your parting gifts and I believe we will feel your presence with us each time we are together.

Spending time with the people you love is never wasted.  I am on a mission to reduce wasted time in my life and to increase time well spent.  To be present, to be grateful, to share and to love.  Thank you Carrie for sharing that lesson with me by the example of your life.  I am grateful.

May

This blog post almost didn't happen, as my external hard drive that I store all of my photos on crashed literally days after I had deleted over a thousand photos from my phone.  Fortunately, Will figured out how to recover the photos and now I have a better back up plan in place if my first back up plan fails again.  As I was contemplating how much work was involved in retrieving the photos, as well as organizing, storing and blogging with them each month it made me realize just how much of a team effort this blog for my family really is.  Luke was the inspiration behind starting this blog almost a decade ago now, but Will has been the fuel to keep this blog running with his tech support, and especially his understanding and support by taking care of the kids, the house, meals and shopping when I hunker down to pull off another blog post.  It is my voice that you read on this blog, but it is Will's dedication to me and our family that makes it happen every month.  I am very grateful, and I hope that when my kids are older and read this blog, that they understand just how much their dad was a part of creating it too.

As you will see as you go through May's blogpost, a lot of happy celebrations happened in May, which would have made the loss of the photos even more painful.  All is well again though, as my photos have been restored and I would like to start off this past month's post with photos of Will, the guy behind the writer of the blog.  In clockwise order from top left below: Will came home from work one day and Violet exclaimed that she and daddy matched, Will holding up what had been clogging the shower drain (disgustingly enough, the hair ball he pulled out was thicker than my ponytail), and finally, Will and Violet putting training wheels on the bike that Emma passed on to Violet.  

Will is the best husband and dad anyone could ask for and he would be nearly perfect except he claims he doesn't have the ability to smell flowers!  I can't imagine that kind of struggle, and I am grateful that the trait wasn't passed on to our kids!  The girls and I all share a love of drinking in the scent of flowers and May is one of the best months for flower sniffing.  Also, as seen below, flower crafting as well.

May is also the month for harvesting dandelions and violets, and it was a family effort to harvest the plethora of 'weeds' in our yard for my products.

 We also planted the garden throughout the month of May, harvested asparagus and rhubarb, and enjoyed baking together.

 A black swallowtail caterpillar that went into a cocoon late last fall finally hatched on my Dad's birthday this past month and luckily we saw it fluttering it's wings in the butterfly container we had stored on a garage shelf for the winter.  It is amazing to me that it lived for almost six months in a cocoon!  We let it go in honor of my dad's birthday, all the while holding Charlie down so that he couldn't eat it for a snack.  We also found another one of those huge spiders - this time outside, thankfully, and Will relocated it to the green space across the street from us.  One night Will and I were watching TV after the kids were in bed and we heard tapping at our window.  It was kind of freaky, and I urged Will to investigate.  Imagine our relief and surprise when we found a moth about the size of our hand, perched on the window.  When it fluttered it's wings, it sounded like someone knocking on the window!

 Charlie has been happy with our increased time spent outside and continues to enjoy being with us, while whining for food and affection if we ignore him for too long.

We have eaten many a meal outdoors this past month, enjoyed swinging and sidewalk chalk too.  Violet is starting to figure out how to pump her swing by herself, but still prefers us to push her if given the chance.  In the bottom, left hand picture below, Will took a picture of the three girls swinging in their Little House on the Prairie bonnets I got them for their birthdays and told me that if the neighbors didn't know before that our kids were homeschooled, they definitely would have no doubts now.  Or, to quote a friend of mine, "Their homeschool was showing."

I love (sarcasm) the fact that my three girls pretend that they are Mary, Laura and Carrie Ingalls and chase Emma, I mean Laura, around the yard trying to force her to put her sun bonnet back on.  Of all the things they took from the entire year we spent learning about Little House on the Prairie, that is what they took from it.    It usually ends with me breaking up the fight/chase and taking the bonnets away from them.

It rained quite a bit this past month and so we spent time indoors reading, playing in the bathtub (note the trickery in the tub with the feet placement), playing Legos and Duplos, dress-up and fashion modeling.

 It was hard to keep up the effort with homeschooling as the weather got warmer and big life events were happening almost every weekend it seemed.

 We persevered though, and enjoyed some school time outside, as well as a Mary Poppins play that our friend played a statue in.

I was also busy with Harding Honey happenings and enjoyed making soap with a friend - that is us below getting a breath of fresh air as our lye mixed with water, and also enjoyed hosting a day of girl scouts in my backyard as well.

I've had great success online with a patch I had made for my scouting classes and all three of my kids helped me package them up and send them off in the mail this past month.

We were out and about so much this past month and in clockwise order from top left below: a bike ride through the neighborhood cemetery, Lucy getting her first bank account, Violet entertaining herself in the car, enjoying a pretzel at the mall in between errands, a family of ducks we saw at the park, and finally, the girls at their annual well visits at the doctors office.

 We enjoyed spending time downtown this past month from a skate board deck art festival, to opening day at the Farmer's Market, to ice cream cones on Main Street.

 We had fun with friends at the park, in back yards and even met (and held!) the newest member of kids in our circle of friends.

We spent time with grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins...

...and celebrated Lucy's First Communion with our families.

We had a lovely day of celebration for Lucy's First Communion and watched in proud amazement as Lucy achieved a major life milestone in our faith family.

Lucy wore the same dress that both Aunt Jane and Aunt Cate wore for theirs.  I love when a tradition can happen like that!

 We had a party afterwards that we combined with birthday celebrations since we had five major holidays in under three weeks - Easter and Emma's birthday on the same day, Lucy's birthday twelve days later, and then Violet's birthday six days after that, followed by Lucy's First Communion two days after that!

 As if that wasn't enough holidays, we celebrated Mother's Day the following weekend!  I had a great day filled with all of my favorite things - a hike with Will and the girls, a shopping spree at a local garden nursery, and a dessert of peach cobbler to finish off the day.

 Violet finally had her appointment with a genetic doctor at a nearby hospital after months on a wait list.  We prepped Violet for the appointment by playing doctor with her and talked about how they might want to take blood while she was there.  She told me with a very serious face that, "I'm sorry mama, but my blood is all gone."  Fortunately they didn't have to take blood at the appointment, but we are hoping that insurance will approve some tests and we can go back for a blood draw soon.  The good news is that if insurance approves the test, Will and I will both give blood samples as well.  Violet likes this, and told me that I will go first, then daddy, then Violet.

 Violet currently has four molars and unfortunately, the top two are misshapen due to Ectodermal Dysplasia and also missing enamel.  As a result, she had to have her first cavities drilled and filled this past month.  She did AMAZING and laid on top of me for the procedure.  I was so proud of her bravery and calm and I do believe that Violet is more than capable of handling anything that Ectodermal Dysplasia throws at her.  Here are pictures below of my sweet and feisty girl playing.  She loves playing dress up, PlayDoh, reading and telling stories.

 She also loves spending "Special Time" with me as we wait for her sisters at various classes.  In clockwise order from top left below:  Violet and I reading stories and drinking water in the car as we wait for Lucy and Emma's yoga class to finish,  Violet and I shopping as the girls are in yoga, Violet and I at the park next to the girl's yoga class, Violet and I shopping while the girls are at dance, and finally, Violet playing Barbies while I take a shower.

 At the beginning of this blog post I mentioned how this blog is almost a decade old.  Well, we sold our car that we had for just over a decade this past month.  It was a sentimental moment for me, as I was pregnant with each of my four babies in that car, and had the emotional memories of driving home from the hospital after having Luke with an empty carseat, and then the happy memories of driving home Lucy, Emma and Violet from the hospital after they were born.  Not to mention all of the car trips, chickens, bees, furniture and other cargo from a decade of life that made that car seem like so much more than plastic, metal and rubber.  But, a friend told me that if our time with that car had to come to an end, at least it was being driven away by a happy new owner instead of being pulled away by a tow truck (as seems to be the usual way we say goodbye to cars).  I am very grateful that we didn't have to see our memories towed away, but happily driven away by the new owners.  That car was good to us and will forever hold a place in our family's story.

Which brings me to our last celebration for the busy month of May, made happier by the bigger, roomier car we now drive.  My birthday was on Memorial Day this year, and so I decided to capitalize on that and ensure that I truly had a four day birthday celebration!  We drove our roomier car and took a trip to a destination up north that is the farthest we have driven since we have had kids. None of our kids have done well in the car as babies (non-stop scream fest), and Violet seems to be outgrowing that habit even slower than her sisters did.  We borrowed our friend's portable DVD player and that, coupled with the fact that our new to us car has a third row of seats, we moved the kids seats so that no one was able to touch anyone and we had a somewhat peaceful trip to our cottage rental!  

When we arrived at the cottage we were greeted by three purple tulips.  I couldn't help but believe this was Luke's gift to us, telling us that he was there with us in spirit, enjoying our family vacation too.  The cottage was perfect for us, with a porch swing, a tree swing, lots of kid friendly games, toys and books...

...a fire pit complete with gorgeous sunsets, yummy s'mores and one night even roasted hot dogs...

...gorgeous beaches and our kids even acquired their first stamp in their National Park Passport books...

...time spent at the National Park Sleeping Bear Dunes, complete with me reading them the story of the Legend of Sleeping Bear Dunes...where I broke down crying because the story is about a mama bear missing her two cubs that drown in the lake...

...we played horseshoes, and lots of board games when it rained...

...and had one of my favorite hikes of all time as I have never seen so many wildflowers in bloom in the woods before - trillium, forget-me-nots, yellow, white, blue and purple violets, ferns, and even some daffodils.

There was a lilac bush in front of the cottage which was a bonus for us as our lilacs back home were done blooming several weeks prior.  The hike that we took from our cottage went to an overlook of Lake Michigan that was a spectacular view...

...we didn't even mind when we had to run almost the entire way back as it started pouring rain on us. We even met with friends at a nearby city for ice cream and playground play and enjoyed time at the Farmer's Market there too.

Crazy enough, this was one of our favorite family trips since we have had kids and that is even with Will starting to pass a kidney stone, me having a pretty severe histamine reaction and spending time in several outhouses while the kids and Will played at the beach and toured a lighthouse, and Emma, puking up the roasted hot dog at 4 a.m. on my birthday.  We have actually never had a family trip where one of the kids didn't puke, and this one was the worst mess yet.  Fortunately the cottage had a washer and dryer and cleaning supplies but it was ironic to me that in the early morning hours of Mother's Day Emma had also woken us up to hot dog puke.  No more hot dogs for Emma, and fortunately sleep deprivation is like an old friend to me so not something that could ruin my special days!  So, my birthday dawned bright and early because after the 4 a.m. puke, we moved her to our bed, where she puked again at 4:30 a.m.  The sun was coming up as we were finally laying down and then we were kept awake by the sound of the washing machine across the hall that Emma claimed sounded like it was saying "Hot Dog, Hot Dog," over and over again.  Once Emma told us that, it was impossible not to hear it too.  

I had a good birthday, filled with some of my favorite things while we waited for all of the laundry to finish before we checked out of the cottage - reading stories with my girls on the porch swing, opening presents from my girls who were so excited to have me find out what they got me, smelling lilacs (I've never had the pleasure of smelling lilacs ON my birthday before!), taking a turn on the tree swing, drinking my favorite hot tea on the porch, and of course, peach cobbler for my birthday dessert when we got home that night.

All in all it was a lovely trip and we hope to make it back to that cottage again.  A barf bucket is now officially on the packing list and I don't think I will ever purposely plan coming home from a trip on my actual birthday again as it was too much work with laundry, packing, unpacking and more laundry.  Not to mention the long car ride with our less than stellar auto travelers.  Despite the work however, this getaway was still what our family needed after such a busy month of celebrations!