Sugar and Spice in December

We started out the month of December by putting our Christmas decorations up.  We took our artificial tree out of it's box after Thanksgiving, and began setting it up, saying the same lines we have said for the last five or six years, "When Christmas is over, we will put this at the curb. Let's get one more year out of it."  Upon putting the tree in it's stand, Violet ran by and the breeze from her running through the room almost knocked the tree over.  After twelve Christmases with a $30 tree from JoAnn Fabrics, it was time.  Will and I tend to hold on to things until they break, and then we fix them and when they break again, we fix them again, and again and again.  This tree was no exception.  We found a gorgeous tree for a great price that fits in the limited space we have perfectly and it has really added to our holidays.

It was nice to do our schoolwork in the soft glow of our new tree this past month.  We have done lots of read aloud chapter books and among the favorites was Sarah, Plain and Tall.  Violet is getting slightly better about letting us read books together and even has a handful of her own books that she has completely memorized.  These sisters have been intense to say the least however, and I may work our school year slightly different next year to allow more time off before the holidays, or better yet to include our preparations for the holidays into our curriculum.  

Unlike most Decembers, the weather was mild this year and so I really just wanted to be outside whenever the thermometer was above freezing.  I think the reason I am able to accomplish more projects before the holidays than the rest of the year combined is because the weather isn't a distraction from my to-do list.  So, between the outdoor time and the holiday projects, our school time was a rushed and frustrating experience.  But, one of the reasons we are homeschooling is to increase the flexibility in our life and although the learning curve is steep, I will hopefully plan a bit better next year.  Here we are below, walking the trail behind our local cider mill with my parents on our favorite day of the week "Apple Fritter Friday."  

Will's dad's birthday was this past month as well, and we had fun celebrating with him.  The girls equate the Sanders chocolate bumpy cake with Grandpa T. and whenever they spot it in the store, they call it Grandpa's cake.  What a legacy.

Our town does an amazing job with the holidays and boasts a light-filled Main Street and a life-size gingerbread house in the local hotel lobby.  Now that we have lived here for almost six years, we have seriously down-sized what events we participate in, and we make sure to enjoy the sights of the season when it is the least crowded.  You could say we are seasoned locals now.  In the below pictures we are enjoying the fun of the holidays.  Lucy and Emma helped me stuff and seal our Christmas cards and make Christmas soaps to give to friends and family.  They also received a Lego Advent Calendar that they fought over every day as they tried to remember whose turn it was to open the flap.  Will and I don't threaten the kids with Santa to get them to be good, mainly because we don't want to have to follow through on our threats.  Emma was still relieved in the right hand picture below when she found her name on Santa's list at the dentist's office.

We did participate in our church's annual kids Christmas party which the kids love going to.  Lucy and Emma were very brave and well-rehearsed on what they asked St. Nicholas for but Violet was traumatized and every time she sees a Santa since, it triggers the memory and she tells us, "NO, SANTA!  NO SANTA!" and then squeezes my neck in fear.  At which point I say, "Violet said no to Santa?  And then mama scooped you up and hugged you tight?"  It's kind of nice painting myself in her memory as the hero, and not the loved one who broke her trust when I left her on a strange man's lap.  The bottom right hand picture below was a game at the party where the girls had to put one of each of their arms into the sleeves of an oversized shirt and try to wrap a present together.  It was hilarious and reminded Will and I of the "get-along" shirt we had tried before with them as a consequence of fighting.

Lucy and Emma had their second annual Holiday Show dance recital this past month as well.  They were like seasoned pros and didn't even show the least bit of anxiety about performing on stage this time.  They danced to Jingle Bells and Emma told me after the show was over that she wanted to dance for as long as she was allowed to.  And then she asked,  "How long are people allowed to dance for mom?"  

Every year we make an ornament to decorate Luke's grave blanket that we put at the cemetery for Christmas.  This year we made ornaments out of Perler Beads.  Even Violet joined in on the fun.

My sister Jane arrived in town for Christmas just in time to help us decorate Luke's grave blanket.  She always seems to show up exactly at the right time.  It's almost as if she has a sixth sense in regards to her Godson Luke.

This is our eighth Christmas missing Luke and although the pain of it has become more manageable over time, it definitely becomes magnified during the holidays.  A couple of days before Christmas we took a mini trip to Indiana to pick up some custom built-in furniture we had made by our favorite Amish craftsman.  We spent one night in Indiana and enjoyed delicious Amish food.  The furniture barely fit in the car, and for Lucy to get into her seat, Will had to load her in from the trunk.  As the girls were laying in bed at the hotel, being squirrelly and making Will and I doubt our sanity for purposely choosing to sleep even less right before Christmas, Lucy said that she brought Luke's stuffed animal with her so that he could enjoy the vacation with us.  In the bottom right hand picture below, all four of my kids are represented - the yellow duck for Luke and Emma, Violet and Lucy as themselves.  God only knows how a hotel stay with four kids would go, but you better believe that we would have gladly tried it.

On Christmas Eve Will and I took turns taking the girls out for some Christmas shopping for their family.  Will took Lucy out first, and then when he returned, Emma and I hit the road.  On our way to the first store on our list, Emma began talking about Luke and telling me how she wished that he was here on earth with us.  It was such a nice conversation, as usually Lucy does the talking when it comes to Luke and Emma just listens.  As we were walking into the store, still talking about Luke, I spotted a penny on the ground and nudged Emma to pick it up.  When we got into the store it occurred to me with a shiver and a giant grin that pennies are sometimes referred to as Kisses from Heaven, placed there by a loved one that we are missing.  I knelt down to Emma's level and explained this to her.  Then, it occurred to me to check the date on the penny.  I was hoping so badly that the date would be either Luke's birth year or Emma's.  Nope.  It was my birth year.  I could spend my time calculating the odds of that and perhaps explain away any heavenly reason, but I am choosing to believe that Luke was also in the business of shopping for Christmas gifts for his family that day, and he gave one to his momma.

That night, after church, our Christmas Eve dinner and putting out milk and cookies for Santa, Will and I created Christmas magic and then wrote our yearly letter to Luke.  We dread that moment when all of our Christmas chores are finished and we have to sit down and truly acknowledge that another year has passed without our first born with us on earth.  Through tears we write his letter and then add it to the other letters from previous Christmases in his stocking.  Afterwards though, a peace fills us and we feel a little bit better.  Sad, but accepting I suppose.  It's almost like we need to clear the air and put the sadness in it's place so that we can feel the joy of Christmas morning more fully with our earthly children.  I never knew that it was possible to entertain both sadness and joy in the same human heart but thanks to Lucy, Emma and Violet, it most certainly is possible.  We had a wonderful Christmas morning - Santa brought everything the girls had asked for and the surprises Will and I had gotten for them were met with excitement and appreciation too.  

Lucy had asked Santa for a surprise and was surprised with a Frozen Lego Castle and Fashion Drawing Plates.  Emma had asked Santa for Friends Legos and a jack in the box and received both.  Violet was given a doll umbrella, a backpack that looks like a cat and a Duplo Ice Cream Truck.  I even received a Lego set from Santa and had a lot of fun building Legos with Lucy and Emma that morning.  Will and I got the girls each a ride on bouncey ball which we vacillate between regretting and feeling grateful that they have something to get their energy out with when the weather is too cold outside.  One of my favorite gifts that the girls got though, was a doll changing table that Will made for them and I sewed a changing pad and a cloth organizer to hang from the side.  I had a lot of fun organizing their doll clothes on tiny wooden doll hangers and putting all of their doll accessories on the shelves.  What a bonus to be able to have fun and relive my own favorite childhood pastimes with my kids!  Will also loved Legos when he was a kid, but mostly spent the morning cleaning up and cooking while the girls and I played.  For the record, Will said he wouldn't change a thing.

 Christmas afternoon we changed out of our pajamas and headed over to my parents house.  All but one of my six siblings was there and we had a great time.  My sister hadn't been with us since September, and she definitely made up for lost time by playing songs by request on the piano.  We come from a long line of family who believe that a holiday isn't a holiday unless there is singing around a piano.  This used to embarrass me to no end, but I must have crossed over some type of adult threshold because it didn't occur to me until days later that my sister and I had single handedly taken the tradition firmly into our generation and although my vocals are shockingly off key, it sure made for a Merry Christmas.

Of course my kids were happy to run around with their cousins and to open presents together and share a look of uncomfortable awe at their aunties and other relatives singing along to the piano.

The following day we hosted a mini Christmas at our house with Will's family.  We were honored when his Grandma arrived as she hasn't been at our house in over a year.  It is difficult for her to make the drive and be out for long periods of time, but she seemed to take it all in stride and she only had eyes for her great grand children.  Will's brother and Chris were also in town, so that made for an extra special gathering. 

I was hoping to spend as much time as possible with my sister while she was in town for Christmas, especially since she has no idea when she will be back next, but alas, Violet came down with a stomach bug a couple of days after Christmas and was sick for almost a week.  We were better in time to catch Jane with about three days to spare before she flew back to her home in New Jersey.

Our Violet-induced quarantine made for lots of family bonding time.  Or in other words, our house felt way too small for the three little personalities we are in charge of.  Fortunately, thanks to our grocery delivery service, we had ample ingredients on hand for cooking up lots of different recipes in bulk, so my freezer is stocked now too.  Some things went well, and others not so much.  I made a delicious cranberry and pear sauce, chicken pot pies in bulk, an amazing one pot beef stew as well as a berry and an apple pie.  I also tried roasting chestnuts and instead they spontaneously combusted and turned the air quality in our house to smog-like levels.  I also made Chex party mix which made me horribly sick.  Come to find out Worcestershire sauce is on my list of no-no foods.

Despite the food set-backs, I am starting to feel quite confident in the kitchen.  I have accumulated a solid number of recipes that I can cook well and I am starting to prefer my cooking over most other food options.  One of my favorite things is when my family tells me that the food that I made them is the best food in the world.  Especially when three out of the four food critics would choose to survive on mac and cheese and hot dogs if given the option.  Okay, so I'm not dealing with refined tastes, however if they are eating something other than their preferred options, that is a huge win for me.  It's the little things in motherhood and I am excited to imagine that someday, when they are grown and come back home, I can make them the foods that have become a part of our family's history from my own practicing in the kitchen and a little bit of help from Pinterest.

New Year's Eve was quiet, just how we like it and we spent the day talking about our hopes and plans for the new year as well as trying to get everyone healthy.  We took turns soaking our feet, did several rounds of elderberry syrup and vitamins and even did a picnic dinner with a movie, followed by our second annual burning bowl to let go of the things and emotions we have outgrown so that we have room for the new dreams in our life.

Top on our list is to create more harmony and peace in our house.  Less yelling, more playing.  Less fighting, more respect.  It has occurred to me that perhaps my three little beauties could benefit from more formal lessons on what a family is, and what is required when you are a part of one.  Work and play, love and forgiveness.  Otherwise, I'm not sure how I will handle this trio when they are teenagers, as the attitude and sass in what is supposed to be their sweet years is about to do me in!

Sugar and spice, that is what these little girls are made of!

Violet at 20 Months

I have been observing in amazement the past couple of months Violet's ability to quickly acclimate herself to any new situation.  Whether it be a new type of play or movement that she sees her older sisters trying or a social setting, she is like a seasoned world traveler, able to quickly fit in despite language barriers and unfamiliar customs.  She will jump right in, saying, "Me!  ViVi!"  She also has adapted our accent and responds to questions with "Yeah" and makes exclamations at appropriate times like, "Oh, wow!" and "No way!"  And I'm pretty sure she understands the word, "Chocolate" in at least three different languages.  After explaining something to her that she seems unsure of, she will respond with, "oooooh."  Here she is below, playing on her own, which still requires photo documentation because it is still quite rare.

 It seems that Violet has inherited Will's love of hide and seek.  One night while we were getting the girls ready for bed, Will hid behind the girls bedroom door and then jumped out and surprised them.  The next morning, as I was getting the girls ready for the day I noticed that the gate at the top of the stairs had been left open and started panicking when I realized Violet was no where to be seen.  After searching each room twice and frantically yelling her name, I saw a pair of eyes peeking out from behind the same door Will had hid behind the night before.  When Violet realized that she had been discovered, she started laughing hysterically and hid behind the door again.

After several times of observing us giving Charlie a treat of wet cat food on the front porch, Violet decided that Charlie needed this every time he meowed.  Violet helps herself to the drawer where the paper plates are, and then pushes a chair over to the cabinet where we keep Charlie's cat food and pulls one out.  The only thing stopping her from feeding him completely, is she can't rip the top open on the package quite yet.  In time Charlie, in time.

And like I mentioned earlier about how Violet can blend into any situation, here she is below, revealing what she has learned while spending time in cat country.

Violet loves helping people from bringing an emotional sister a "neck" (kleenex) or helping to set the table, she will stop mid-tantrum if you ask her to help you with a valid task.  

We were finally able to have Violet's blood work done for her ectodermal dysplasia after months of waiting for our insurance to cover the $4,000 test, only to then lose the paperwork and have to wait some more.  I was nervous for the test, and so waited for a day that Will could come with us.  Here the girls are below waiting with an unsuspecting Violet (that was the worst part for me as she was just happy to be along on an adventure).  I told Lucy and Emma to keep their hands in their pockets as there was a little boy in the same waiting room holding a puke bucket and looking quite green.

 Violet emerged from the lab, proudly sporting a pink bandage and showing her big sisters her "boo boo".  Will said she didn't cry, just curiously watched it all play out.  It will be weeks until we get the results back, and we have been told that we may still not have any more answers than we do now.  Either way, we are anxiously awaiting the results.  Violet also had an appointment with her dentist to follow up on her teeth.  At this point we are playing a wait and see game with Violet, as x-rays right now wouldn't necessarily reveal everything we need to see until she is a couple of years older.  Our goal right now is preservation - keeping the teeth Violet does have as healthy as possible.  I love the dentist that we have for Violet, and although she has no background in ectodermal dysplasia, I am confident that Violet is exactly where we need to be right now during the wait and see time period as her loving and compassionate care is so appreciated and needed by us.  Here the girls are below, watching Nick Jr. while the dentist and I chat.  This is the very same chair that Violet had her tongue and lip tie surgery done in when she was only a couple of weeks old.

We have had some improvements in Violet's sleep and I can now count on one hand the number of nights that she has slept 8 hours straight.  This is a big deal for us, as we are hoping that we are on to the right solutions to help her sleep.  It is a one step forward, two steps backward kind of deal, as she got a nasty stomach bug after Christmas and of course reverted back to bad sleep trends.  We are choosing to focus on the fact that if she can do it once, she can do it again.  I may not try running for mayor like I told Will I was going to do after my first good night's sleep in over two years but it is amazing what some sleep can do for your entire outlook on life.  I can hardly believe our baby is approaching her second birthday so quickly, but I can say without a doubt that I am oh so glad to be her mom!

No Sleep November

We are definitely in a routine with homeschooling now.  I'd say about one day a week we struggle with the appropriate attitudes that would allow learning to take place, but despite those hiccups, I have to say that I can already see big leaps and growth in all three girls since we started the year back in September.  It is exciting to watch how slow and steady increments of learning can add up to something really big.  Here we are below, in clockwise order: doing school at the kitchen table, Emma soaking her feet while reading a book, soap that my friend and I made in our crock pots outside while the kids played on a random weekday, Lucy ready to go to yoga class, and Violet who likes to "draw" as she calls it.

The girls like to help me in the kitchen.  Here they are below, mixing, cutting and arranging.  We made homemade cheese crackers, chicken pot pies, three berry pie, carrot and apple muffins and chicken stock all in bulk this past month.  It is much quicker to cook by myself, however I am hoping the positive experience I try to impart when my little helpers want to be with me in the kitchen will pay off big when they set a home cooked meal they made from scratch in front of me at the table.

Lucy and Emma proclaim that they are each other's best friends which is music to my ears.  When they are apart and come back together, they tell each other how they missed each other and have even established a secret code for when they need to discuss something that they don't want me to hear.  I am choosing to be happy about this, as one of my greatest hopes is for them to be life long friends.  In the top left hand picture below, I found all three girls snuggling in my bed one morning.  To make the picture sweeter, Lucy had a stuffed animal that I got at my baby shower for Luke to represent Luke in the sibling snuggle.  I received three stuffed animals at my baby shower - a yellow duck, a teddy bear and a grey hippopotamus.  Each sister has claimed a stuffed animal as their own, and Lucy and Emma both sleep with theirs cuddled close every night.  I often wonder how Luke would be with his three sisters.

I also wonder if Luke would have taken after Will.  Will handles his role as the only earthly male in our family with grace and humor.  In the top left hand picture below, I couldn't help but take a picture when Will called me into the bathroom to inquire as to why his shelf space keeps getting smaller and smaller in a bathroom that only he uses.

Our cat is a boy, but Will claims this doesn't count.  Charlie is such a friendly little guy and I'm guessing if he lived in our house he would be borderline annoying.  But, since we only cuddle him when we are outside, his affection is mostly appreciated.  Now that the weather is colder, Charlie comes and sits at our front door and watches us go about our day.  When Violet notices that "YarYar" is at the door, she goes to the kitchen and takes out a mini paper plate that we feed him his wet cat food on and then begs Lucy or I for the wet cat food to go and feed Charlie.  In the bottom two right hand pictures, Charlie is playing with the kids with balls and also showing Violet how to breach the security net we have in place.

 We had quite a blizzard this past month and the kids loved playing in all of the snow it brought.

Charlie followed us on the sled rides, whining the entire way for us to go back home.  Violet played in the snow for the very first time and got a kick out of the sled that is just her size and how her fingers felt stuffed into her mittens.

 We had lots of fun with friends this past month, and made sure to take a day off with them when they had a day off from school.

 Will and I attended a nice dinner for his work and the girls and I all got haircuts from Will's cousin in the comfort of our kitchen.  She even humored Violet and pretended to cut her hair so that she felt included.

We had a nice, relaxing Thanksgiving.  We played games, did crafts, colored together and enjoyed lots of food.  Violet was miraculously healthy for a brief time and we even got out and shopped the sales on Friday afternoon.  In the bottom left hand picture Violet was putting random toys into the cart as Lucy and Emma browsed.

Before November, I had offered myself into various volunteer roles and was feeling pretty excited that I was finally able to contribute to something outside of my own family.  All of the things that I had extended myself for took place in November which is when I realized that I was in no position to volunteer my time beyond my little family.  Violet was sick for most of the month and our already precarious sleep was reduced to almost nothing.  I was able to graciously get out of some commitments, but others I still had to fulfill.  This was super frustrating to me to realize that I am not capable of much besides taking care of three kids.  On my paper calendar (and in my head) it seems to me like three kids should not take up every bit of the 168 hours we are each given in a week.  But the reality is, for me, they do.  I am still coming to terms with this, but I am telling myself that this is a season in my life and it won't be like this forever.  This season of my life is exhausting mostly, but scattered throughout my days are small moments of pure bliss with my babies.  The joy comes in short bursts, strung out farther apart than I would like, but it is just enough to keep me going and to continue to put my all into this little life that Will and I are building.

Violet at 19 Months

Violet continues to blossom as our family comedian.  She makes us laugh all of the time, and her antics are always a pleasant surprise to me.  Will claims that I found Lucy and Emma equally as funny, but I have to say, there is something different about her humor and I think it is because she has learned everything she knows from her older sisters. When I ask her to do something, she will yell "NO WAY!"  and run away laughing.  When I tell her no, she will respond by saying in a very whiney voice, "Whhhyyy?"  The other day we were reading a little farm book while we were waiting at the doctor's office when she spotted the udder on a cow and started yelling, "BOOB!"  Or how about sitting in church last weekend when she started saying "ewwww" to the boy sitting behind us.  I swear she knows when I am trying to divert her attention too, as she will just keep saying whatever word it is that is getting the reaction.  Fortunately for all of us, we think she is cute so her toddler antics are funny and not tiring yet.  Yet.  Here she is below, throwing a fit.  Adorable.  And yes, she likes to wear snow boats around the house for fun.

She has been playing on her own a little bit more this past month, and loves drawing, or as she calls it, "Draw", playing with her baby dolls, with the play kitchen and her pull-along toys.  She is obsessed with Lucy and Emma's Barbies and will scream, "BARBIE" while knocking on her sisters' bedroom door.  Fortunately, Lucy and Emma have figured out that Violet can be bought off with a decoy Barbie and will leave the rest of the Barbies alone if given just one Barbie to hold and play with.

She loves reading books, and her attention span is growing as well.  She loves the book Little Quack, which she refers to as "Quack" and I love when she says the title of the book, "Moo Baa La La La."  

Perhaps the best part of her growing attention span is her new interest in watching TV.  I know that aspiring for your kid to watch TV may sound a little backwards, but keep in mind that Violet only sleeps in 30 to 40 minute increments and that my only chance for a diversion is the TV.  She asks to watch Elmo, which is a bit frustrating for Lucy and Emma who have better ideas on what they would like to watch during their screen time.

Parenting Violet is both exhausting and wonderful, all at the same time.  Here she is below, clearing the table of the counting bear manipulatives Lucy was using for math.  Sigh.

I also caught her swiping a carrot and applesauce muffin that was cooling on the kitchen table.  Imagine my pride when I saw that she knows how to peel the paper off of the muffin no problem.

When I asked what she was doing with the muffin, she responded by saying, "Are-eee" which means sorry.  How could I not laugh?  Especially when she gave me a big grin and then took a bite of the muffin!  Violet also will say "PEASE" for please and if she wants to take part in something other family members are doing or eating she will yell, "ME!"  She refers to herself now as "ViVi" which sounds a lot like "ByeBye" and she has mastered her biggest sister's name finally, calling her "Ooh-See".  Violet has started calling me "Mommy" like her older sisters do and loves making sure each member of her family is involved in whatever it is that she is doing or eating.  For instance, if I give her a snack, she will say, "Emma?" until I give her some snack to bring to Emma.  Then she comes back and says, "Ooh-See?" and on and on.  She is so thoughtful as she really does bring the food to her sisters.

This past month has been difficult with Violet's health.  She has had constant head colds and coughs since October, and then she had croup.  This was my first experience with croup and it was very scary.  I was just barely surviving before croup, waking up with Violet every 30 to 40 minutes throughout the night.  Three nights in a row of her being up all night with croup and I was done for.  Pushed over the proverbial mental cliff.  We had barely recovered from croup, when she had an overheating episode where she went from fine to a fever of 104 in a matter of minutes.  The silver lining to all of this is that we have learned some important clues to managing Violet's challenges.  We are learning more about Ectodermal Dysplasia and it's effect on breathing and sleeping.  We have been able to integrate some new techniques and I am hopeful that we will continue to find solutions.  In the meantime, it has been 19 months of very little sleep and it is hard.  I feel extremely overwhelmed when I look past today's challenges, so I am trying to stay in the present moment.  I know of far worse things that parents are facing with their kids, and that isn't to try and minimize what we are going through, but I am confident that we will find a way through this, one day at a time.  

The past 19 months have had drastic effects on my personal growth and I have Violet to thank for showing me what perseverance is, and for finding out who I can count on when life gets tough.  Violet, it is true when I say I love you more than sleep itself and nuzzling your soft chubby cheeks and burying my nose in the nape of your neck while breathing in your sweet baby scent as your fuzzy hair tickles my nose is one of my favorite ways to live present in the moment.    

The Yum and the Yuck in October

It is interesting to me how human nature cannot fully grasp the magnitude of a blessing without also experiencing the depth of loss.  I also am intrigued with how easily it is to forget gratitude, as life moves on and the pain and suffering begin to fade.  It almost becomes a blessing then, to have a life with a balanced portion of both blessing and loss as without one, the other cannot be appreciated.  This past month literally awoke me with a shock to the blessings that I have and gave me a renewed appreciation of what they mean to me when Lucy woke me up early one morning to inform me that the fan plug was on fire and to please come quick.  With my heart in my throat, I rushed to the girls room to first observe that there was no visible fire and then to quickly connect the dots with a pair of scared little girls, a charred pair of child-sized scissors and a blackened wall outlet.  Imagine my relief as the weight of what could have happened started to dawn on me.  Lucy wanted to unplug the fan next to her bed, and upon finding that the plug was stuck, utilized her scissors to pry it out of the wall.  She was not hurt and her bed, just an inch off of the wall, did not catch on fire.

Our babies, our sweet babies were okay.  Our house did not burn down.  The entire upstairs fuses were blown, but those fuses had done their job.  It was an important reminder to Will and I that even at age 6, safety reminders still needed to be a regular routine and that the only thing separating us from a good day versus a bad day is gratitude.  Pure and simple gratitude.

These three girls are my world, and even though most days I feel under appreciated and exhausted, there is no place I would rather be and no one I would rather be with.  And to share my days with these three girls in our cozy, light-filled and beautiful dream house is more than I could have ever asked for.  

Of course, my reminder in gratitude did not stop there though.  Ah, this sweet life of mine, offering me up such a balanced portion of blessing and dare I say, this time, torture!  After three years of bee keeping I am by no means an expert.  In fact, after three years, I can honestly say I have a large repertoire of things that DON'T work, and a shrinking list of things that DO work.  With that being said, after working with honey bees for three years, I have developed a sense of ease, or casualness with creatures that should be handled with utmost caution at all times.  I met a friend at the property north of here where I have a couple of hives and was proud to show her my bees.  I had a couple of tasks to complete to help get them ready for winter and *may* have been showing off a bit with my nonchalant attitude about getting stung.  Needless to say, I ended up being swarmed by angry honey bees and stung so many times that I started running while swearing and yelling "I'm trying to help you!" until I ended up falling on a gravel driveway and hurting my knee.  I had upwards of thirty bee stings and as I lay in the gravel driveway - still getting stung and trying not to cry - it occurred to me that this could be one of the lowest points of my life.  My sweet friend had a first aid kit in her car, and drove me home.  The irony was not lost on me though when she handed me a first aid wipe that said "sting-free" on it.  In the pictures below in clockwise order from the top left: Will going through great care to save and release a honey bee that was in our house (too bad that karma didn't help me), the "sting-free" wipe, my hand beginning to swell, a baking soda paste on my arm that took the majority of the bee stings, a mud paste on my arm, and lastly, the food that I had made the honey bees to help them get through the winter.

My mom has asked me several times why I even want to take such a risk to work with honey bees when you can just buy honey at the store.  Before the bee attack, I told my mom that working with honey bees is actually a very calming experience for me.  At no other time in my life am I able to focus so intently that the rest of the world fades away and it is just me and the hum of my hard working bees.  It is mesmerizing and peaceful.  The day after the bee attack, as my knee throbbed, my body continued to swell and the stings started itching like crazy and I got a fever, I was really starting to question myself about having a hobby that is obviously so dangerous.  The day after the bee incident I had to go back to the property to get my car, and to finish winterizing the bees.  I had Will go into the bees for me, as my swelling and itching and fever would not have allowed me to work in a safe manner.  Truth be told though, I wasn't emotionally ready to face the bees yet.  The following week though, I decided to be brave.  My motivation - the three pairs of brown eyes watching me, to see if I would let the pain define what I love to do.  Plus, how would I be able to afford my honey addiction or my love of all things beeswax?  My take away from this experience is that I do still love bee keeping, but just like my 6 year old, I need to be reminded of proper safety precautions on a routine basis.  May I never forget the great bee sting of 0-15, and may I always carry enough duck tape to seal off any holes in my bee suit!  Below are products that I have been making with my honey and beeswax, as well as a little girl I caught poking holes in a frame of honey comb.

Fortunately, that was the end of the drama for October.  The baking soda and mud pastes took my swelling and fever away very efficiently, and if I were to ever be stung that many times again, I am confident that if I use those old-fashioned remedies (thank you Krista and Google) first that I will be better much faster.  Once my knee started feeling better from the incident, I took full advantage of the gorgeous fall weather we had this past month and got outside as much as possible.  Below are views from a nature path by our house and the nearby cemetery.

We enjoyed many visits to the local cider mill, the girls joined Will and his parents for his school's homecoming parade, and we all enjoyed many playground trips.

Our backyard is small enough that the leaf clean up is more enjoyable than not, and the kids definitely had fun playing in the leaves.

We picked pumpkins from our garden and planted almost 200 crocus bulbs.  The crocus will hopefully come up in the early spring and provide the first of the season's food for my bees.

We have been diligently plugging away at school work and are fully immersed in our routine.  Things that make homeschooling possible include grocery delivery, as witnessed by our cat in the top right hand picture below.

I'm the kind of person who can pass hours upon hours quite easily on Pinterest.  I have had to limit my time spent on there as of late, because it just makes me feel depressed that I don't have enough time to do all of the wonderful and amazing projects posted.  We did try making mini, fairy-sized pumpkins out of acorns which was a disappointment because the kind of paint we used just wouldn't stick to the acorns.  We did have better success with good old fashioned Play Doh and finger painting - you know, the kind of stuff we did as kids because our parents didn't have Pinterest.

Our library hosted a kid carnival this past month which was a lot of fun.  Violet hit the ground running when we arrived and I unbuckled her from the stroller.  Lucy and Emma on the other hand took a while to warm up.  I thought maybe it was because they were the oldest kids there, but once they felt comfortable, they were an unstoppable pair.

Our friends invited us to an event at the Science Center this past month that was quite an experience.  The theme was color, and they had make and take crafts and science experiments all involving color, as well as live demonstrations, music and food.  We even enjoyed the girls first experience in a planetarium.  It was a night to remember shared with good friends, and it doesn't get any better than that.

Here we are below, enjoying more time spent with friends and cousins.

We celebrated Will's birthday this past month and spent time with his family.

 

Will and I are almost at the point where we have celebrated as many birthdays together as we have apart.  I am grateful to not only spend birthdays with my best friend, but to also watch the traits that I love in him, blossom in our kids.  Will's sense of humor is top on my list of attributes that I love, and our kids have definitely inherited some of his hilariousness.  In the picture below, Emma brought a hook that fell off of a hanger to Will and said, "Daddy, one of your hookers fell out of the closet."

 

We had a fun Halloween with minimal stress.  This year we just couldn't decide on a costume that we all agreed on until about two weeks before Halloween.  Fortunately for me, Will took over the job of Halloween costumes and was able to pull together Lucy and Emma as noble Robin Hoods for under $8 total at the Salvation Army.  Violet was a bee and cost us nothing as we already had the costume from when Emma was a baby.

Will even made bows (sans arrows) from scraps of wood he had in the garage.  Here we are below enjoying our annual Farmer's Market Trick or Treat.  Organic apples, carrots, homemade soap and cookies were but some of the wonderful treats they collected at the market.

With Will's magical ability to pull together costumes at the last minute for mere dimes, you would think he would have gone as MacGyver this year for Halloween.  Nope, he went as a racquet ball player.  His teammate was the Assistant Principal at his school, and imagine the fun they had popping into random classrooms during the day and hitting the racquet ball back and forth to each other and then leaving just as abruptly as they came.

Below are pictures from our mini Halloween party we had before we went Trick or Treating with friends in our neighborhood.  The top left hand picture below is of a tray of "bloody" band aids and "used" q-tips that our friends brought as an appetizer.  Violet was a huge fan of the q-tips.  In the bottom right hand pictures you can see us posing with Will's mullet wig.  I gave Will's cousin a scare when I texted her a picture of me and said I needed to cancel our hair cut appointment the following week because Will cut my hair and didn't he do a great job?  Little did I know that Will had the same idea, and texted a picture of Lucy in the wig to a friend of mine, saying that Lucy cut her own hair.  I was a little confused when my friend called me freaking out but I was able to figure things out pretty quickly.  Both our cousin and friend were pacified when we sent them the picture of Violet in the wig.

 Finally, we had a beautiful early morning family photo shoot with a photographer friend of mine.  She turns every picture she takes into a work of art, and this experience was no different.  It was such a quiet, peaceful and crisp fall morning with the sunrise shining through the trees that it made the stress of getting everyone photo-ready that early in the morning completely worth it!

I would like to say that despite the lack of drama for the first part of November that I am still appreciating my blessings to the fullest, but that would not be the truth.  However, I will say that reviewing October's pictures and writing about it has been a good reminder of gratitude and I want to publicly announce that I am attempting to be mindful each and every day, but I am human so it is an uphill struggle!  I don't really like the fact that a life with balanced portions of yum and yuck leads to a life well-lived, but I am accepting of it and would like to offer up the idea of perhaps Weight Watcher sized portions of yuck until a multi-vitamin for gratitude is invented.