Luke's 6th Birthday

Six years ago today we held our son for the first and the last time and our lives were forever changed.  Six years ago today we learned first hand what it feels like to love someone so much that your heart soars higher than it ever has before, even while being split in half.

I have lost a piece of my heart with the birth of each of my children.  I have given this part of me gladly, however I never anticipated that one of my babies would take a piece of my heart to heaven before I got there.  So while my heart continues to beat here, I am ever so grateful to hold the babies on earth that keep a piece of my heart, while remembering and honoring the part of me that has gone ahead, to heaven.  Until I am able to hold all the pieces of my heart together in one place, I will do whatever I can to keep Luke's memory alive in my heart, my family, and my home.  

This past weekend we had an impromptu get together with my family and when dessert came around, my sister in law capitalized on the cheese cake being served and decided that we couldn't eat a cake without singing to the next birthday person in the family.  I know this was her sweet way of including Luke into our gathering.  I choked back tears as my girls and their cousin sang to Luke in heaven and blew out his six birthday candles.

The day before Luke's birthday we made bird seed pine cones to leave at the cemetery for our friends and family that stopped by.

Afterwards, we went to the party store to buy balloons to launch at the cemetery the next morning.  The girls were very excited about this, and picked two balloons each - one to keep at home, and one to let "fall up to heaven."  Here they are below watching the balloons filling up with helium.

I choked back tears again when I realized that I was taking pictures of my family walking to the car with the balloons.  Without Luke here, it seems all of my picture taking is a feeble attempt to create memories when the subject of the memory is missing.

On the morning of Luke's birthday, I found Lucy and Emma sitting below, playing Balloon Store with the balloons.  I couldn't help but choke back tears yet again when I saw them sitting with their arms around each other while chatting, wishing Luke was encircled in the imaginative conversation too.

We made it to the cemetery bright and early and waited in the car eating Tootsie Rolls while Will shoveled a pathway to Luke's grave.  It was the most snow we have seen in the six years we've been coming to visit Luke's grave but it was also the warmest - 35 degrees.  And after the winter we've had, it felt positively balmy.  In fact, Luke's birthday today was the first day above freezing this year.  This was a gift we were very appreciative of.

We launched our balloons and all four flew free to heaven.  We watched them until they disappeared into the clouds.  The girls are certain that Luke was able to reach out and grab them.

We do a traditional "family hug" before leaving the cemetery, and today was no different.  Here are the five of us below with Violet warm in my tummy.  This is as close as we will ever get to being together as a family of six on earth, standing at our son's grave.

After the cemetery we had breakfast at Panera, and then headed to our weekly chiropractor appointment.  Our chiropractor adjusted me when I was pregnant with Luke and hence has always been an understanding place for us to go on Luke's birthday.  Otherwise, we prefer to spend it alone as a family.  After our appointment, we headed home to our traditional lunch of the things I craved when I was pregnant with Luke - grilled cheese sandwiches, Clausen pickles and frozen pears.  After lunch we read the stories that remind us of Luke before naps - Puff the Magic Dragon, Where Do Balloons Go, and I Can Only Imagine.

After naps we headed outside to enjoy the sunshine.  We stayed outside as long as possible, built a snowman, made snow angels, built another snow fort, threw snowballs, chatted with neighbors and played with Charlie.

Before heading in for the evening, the girls hung their birdseed pine cones for Luke.  It was wonderful to be able to spend time outside on Luke's birthday, and just be together as a family in our favorite environment.  This is not typical on February 19th in Michigan and the rareness made it all the more special.

Before dinner we iced and decorated Luke's birthday cake.  This year the girls wanted to make him heart-shaped chocolate cakes.  We made six little hearts in honor of Luke's sixth birthday and I baked the rest of the batter into a simple round cake.

After a dinner of more Luke foods - roast beef and mashed potatoes - we sang to our Lukey in heaven and the girls blew out his six candles.

Before we put the girls to bed we went through Luke's memory box, a tradition Will and I have always done in the past while the girls were sleeping.  The girls were completely enthralled with the contents of Luke's box and loved holding his outfits that he wore in the hospital, looking at the pictures and reviewing all of the various mementos we have saved over the past six years that remind us of Luke.  Seeing Luke's items through their eyes helped keep my eyes dry and it was definitely a blessing to share our most treasured possessions with our girls.

Today we pictured Luke celebrating his birthday in heaven with several new guests this year - two little cousins Ethan and Jack, as well as our good friend's dad who wasn't healthy enough to play with his grandkids on earth.  I just know that Luke, Ethan and Jack are into all sorts of angelic mischief and that Grandpa Bob is finally able to do all the fun and silly things he couldn't do with his grandkids on earth.

It was a peaceful day, filled with great family harmony.  We were all completely present in the moment with nothing on our agenda for the day besides remembering Luke.  I am grateful for the traditions we have put into place over the last six years as it has provided a framework for healing and is the structure we need to get through the most difficult day of the year for our family.

Thank you to all of our friends and family for remembering our Luke, and giving us the love we need to carry on until we are all reunited in heaven again, with the pieces of our hearts mended together at last.

Happy birthday Luke, we love you!

Contagious at 34 Months

Emma loves to get a reaction out of Lucy and knows exactly how to infiltrate Lucy's high sense of order and create ensuing chaos.  The other day Lucy came running to me complaining, "Mom, Emma is eating books again!"  Although I try not to respond to tattling from either daughter, I just had to see for myself what Lucy was talking about.

"Rooaarrrr!" says Emma.  I know it is hard to believe that someone so cute and cuddly could be responsible for such chaos.  But that is actually part of her tactic I believe.  Here she is below snuggling Aunt Jane.

Emma is very affectionate and loves to give multiple kisses in a row and snuggle with whoever is willing.  We blame Emma for several highly contagious sicknesses we've experienced over the last month.  First she had a horrible stomach flu.  A day after Emma recovered, Will woke up in the middle of the night to a strange feeling - someone was plastering his face with wet kisses.  When he was fully awake he realized in horror that Emma had essentially given him the kiss of death.  Not even 24 hours later, and Will was stricken with the worst stomach bug I have ever witnessed.  Lucy and I avoided both of their kisses like the plague after that.

About a week later, I spent an entire Sunday service trying to keep Emma's fingers out of her nose.  At one point, we exchanged the sign of peace with our fellow parishioners and the people around us were charmed by Emma's sweet "Peace be with you" and tiny hand shakes.  They were then equally appalled when they witnessed Emma pick a giant booger out of her nose and hand it to me as soon as the sign of peace was over.  About 24 hours later Emma came down with a fever of 104 for several days as well as a bad cough.  Subsequent family members fell to the same bug one after the other in the week that followed.  I've decided that Emma's chronic nose picking is to blame for one of the sickest winters in our family's history.  Now I'm trying to figure out a way to keep Emma's fingers out of her nose and the best solution I have come up with yet is to staple her gloves to her coat and not allow them off in any public setting.  Who knew that I would actually tell my child, "You can pick your nose when we get home.  Please do not pick your nose in public!"

Emma isn't all trouble fortunately, and has taken a shine to cleaning this past month.  It has become increasingly difficult for me to bend down because of Violet, and Emma gladly comes to my rescue.  Here she is below vacuuming up crumbs after a meal.  She is really good at it, and besides needing help turning it on and off, finds more crumbs to suck up than I would have.

She also enjoys washing dishes and playing in the water.  I've found that if she is harassing Lucy, the simple request of a job needing her attention is enough to distract her and restore her golden halo to a more upright angle.  She loves to be helpful and is my little domestic diva, working with a smile on her face wearing her pink ruffly tutu.

If Lucy isn't around, Emma is able to play independently quite peacefully.  Without buttons to push, she is content for long periods of time on her own.  Here she is below playing doll house without the doll house.

Emma's most used phrase is, "I'm hungry."  This line is used mostly when she is bored and has her eye on a treat, not actual real food.  Here she is below eating the icing from an oreo cookie.  She prefers the icing off of donuts, cookies, cakes and even between oreos to the actual cake parts.  Once the icing is gone, she is done with the treat and I make my move.  I don't mind cookies and cake without icing!

 Emma loves practicing ballerina and yoga poses.  Here she is below balancing in a pose she calls "dancer".

In the below balancing pose, you can see that Will did her hair for the day.  Will follows Emma's style requests to the last detail whereas when I do Emma's hair, I only allow one accessory per day, as I am tired of the trail of accessories she inevitably leaves all over the house, car and the outside world in general.

For Emma, less is definitely not more and she throws every ounce of her being into whatever she is doing from germ catching, sister pestering, helping and having fun.  Her enthusiasm is contagious and we love our little girl!

Hibernating in January

It is a lot harder for me to find reasons to love winter than any other season.  Oh how I long for the days when shoes are optional and being outside all day is my standard mode of operation.  Until then, I am trying to find reasons to appreciate where the calendar is now.  Now as in closing the chapter on the snowiest January of all time in Michigan, with record breaking cold temperatures and germs flying around as much as the snow flakes.  

There is something to be said for being cozy and warm inside your house with the ones you love, grateful for the tea pot whistling on the stove, a fridge stocked with enough food to get us through the next decent weather day and enough books, DVDs, games and crafts to keep us from getting on each others nerves too much.  All of Will's snow/cold weather days off from school have also definitely helped keep the warm glow of the season as well.  I think he has had a total of seven days off this past month, which is a record in itself.

Below is an account of what we did to keep from going crazy on the days the windchill was -30 or we were getting another 6-12 inches of snow.  At the beginning of this month, the diversion came literally, right to our doorstep.  I was making breakfast in the kitchen on a Saturday morning when I saw a ball of fire go through the electrical line into my next door neighbors house.  I frantically called him on the phone just as he was sticking his head out the window, frantically waving his arms at me.  Apparently he had just seen a similar ball of fire go through the lines into our house.  Upon further investigation, we discovered a car had hit the electrical pole between our houses.  Fortunately, the driver was okay, and so were our houses.  Our mailboxes were flattened but we never lost power and were rewarded with an entire day of entertainment outside our front window as we watched the various workers fix the damage.  It was about eight hours total, from the time the tow truck towed away the damaged vehicle, the tree trimming truck came to cut the branches off of the fallen lines, Miss Dig flagged the ground, a new pole was dropped off, and finally the new pole was installed.  We saw the workers have a snow ball fight in the air while they were up in their cherry picking baskets waiting for the next truck to come, as well as heard one of the workers yell "I'm the king of the world!" while he was up in the sky trimming branches.  We are guessing they knew we were a captive audience and had a little fun with us.

This past month presented lots of different opportunities to view the outside world through our windows and to build make believe ones inside where it was warm.  The pictures below show the girls watching a "pesky" squirrel outside our dining room window, building forts and constructing train tracks.

We also decorated the house with paper snowflakes, Valentine's Day Hearts, creative kid-inspired artwork and the girls each made their own mini pumpkin pie.

For Christmas, Will's parents gave the girls a subscription to Kiwi Crate, a monthly arts and crafts subscription.  The first one arrived on a snow day, which led to a fun, unhurried morning of making winter themed window clings and a Velcro "Polar Bear" snow ball game, perfect for an active yet indoor game.

Speaking of active - it has been a challenge getting the girls' need for dispensing energy met.  Some days they just run from the kitchen to the living room and back over and over again until one of them gets hurt.  Our house is not big, and on days like this we really notice it.  We have had dance parties, yoga, and even music practice.  My brother Joe gave us his trombone, and although none of us have ever played one before, it has provided a lot of great entertainment.  Joe even gave us our first lesson via texting while he was at work.  He lives in Florida so apparently does not get days off because of snow like we do.  It's all trade offs I suppose.

It may sound far-fetched when I say that our weekly Story Times at the library have been the one link to the real world that has kept us from going into a snow-blind, isolated craze.  We have had so many canceling and rescheduling of play dates and other outings this past month because of sickness or weather that at times it felt like we were the only people living on this planet and our need for social interaction would never be met.  Our library has definitely gone over and above this winter.  Not only are the girls registered in a free kids yoga class several times a month at the library, but they are also a part of a weekly Science Explorer group.  The activities that they do each Monday in their science class are easily replicated at home, and keep the girls interested for hours and hours all week long.  Here they are below at Story Time making volcanoes with baking soda mountains and colored vinegar.

And here they are below, doing the volcano "experiment" at home.

They missed the week that the class played with "Slimy Goo" because Emma was sick, but the librarian emailed me the recipe, and we enjoyed it at home all week long.

I can't even begin to tell you how much of a positive impact this has made on an otherwise trying time, being home bound for weeks on end due to sickness or weather.  The below picture is an example of what we would be doing all day long without the library's influence.

We did make it to one play date this past month and had a lovely time.  We almost had to turn around because the roads were so icy that at one point I didn't know if my car was going to make it up a hill.  I was more than half way there though, and decided better keep going and hopefully by the time we left for home later the roads will have thawed out a bit more.  I was so glad we made it to their house - it was a glorious morning, being in my friend's light-filled home with the kids running around happy and free as I got to visit with another adult.  My kids were as good as gold and I think were just delighted to have someone else to play with besides each other.  At one point Lucy came over to tell me that she was out of breath and hot.  This doesn't happen stuck inside at our house with nothing but a sister to play or fight with.  My friend even indulged me with her signature tea which includes fresh ginger and cardamon and I served up my Great Grandma's banana cake that I had brought.

Half of us made it to another social outing, but unfortunately, half of us did not.  Will's brother got the girls tickets to see Sesame Street Live for Christmas and around 4:30 the morning of the show, Emma woke up with the stomach flu.  Fortunately, friends of ours were able to take our extra two tickets and Lucy, Will and her friend and her dad had a Double Daddy Daughter Date together.  Emma was devastated that she couldn't go, so I tried to make it up to her by letting her snuggle all morning under an Elmo blanket (which she now refers to as the "Barf Blanket") while watching Elmo DVD's and sipping fluids from an Elmo sippy cup.

Lucy had a great time at Sesame Street Live, and so did Will for that matter.  This same duo that accompanied Lucy and Will to the Elmo show saved the day a week later when my car wouldn't start after the girls' dance class.  Not only did our friend push the car - with me sitting in it! - he also figured out what was wrong with it after the jumper cables wouldn't work.  He ended up using a blue wooden toy cup from his mini van to knock on something under the hood that did the trick and the car started.  He is officially our hero, cheerfully saving the day in temps below zero.  And, not only did he save me a tow truck fee, but whatever he did also unstuck the CD that has been jammed in the CD player for at least two years after Lucy stuck a penny in it.  Unfortunately, Lucy stuck the CD back in before the penny was taken out so it is stuck again, but it's good to know that if need be, we can call upon our friend and maybe he can magically make the CD pop out again.  We will try and wait until it is above freezing so as not to take advantage though.

This freezing cold has not only been hard on my car, but all the creatures that I love outside too.  Our bees, chickens and cat have definitely not had an easy time of it.  I am fairly certain the bees have not made it this far into the winter, as I have seen absolutely no signs of life from our three hives since late December.  This is the second winter we've had our chickens, and the first time they have refused to come out of their coop.  Last winter they came out no matter the weather and if there was a ton of snow, would hang out under the coop.  This year, the temperatures have been so cold that they have gone for several days in a row without leaving their little house.  The drawback to this is that they get bored in there and start eating the eggs that have been laid that day.  This forces me to have to go out there more than once to collect what I can before the eggs catch their attention.  On the coldest of days, our time is structured by egg collecting and rotating out frozen waters with fresh for both our chickens and our cat.

Our cat doesn't seem to mind the cold.  I don't know if it is because he is still a kitten and full of young energy, or if because he was born in the fall he doesn't know that the world isn't always brutally cold.  We lock him in the garage where his insulated cat house is when the temps are too low, and when he is allowed outside again he acts like a kid in a candy shop.  On the super cold days when the kids can't go out to play, Charlie is brought in for short visits to get love and cuddles but isn't allowed to go past the back stairs on account of my allergies.  It seems to be enough to get us all through the coldest of days.

 

Despite the cold, we have found pockets of time where the temperatures were more suitable for outdoor play.  Here are the girls below playing in their snow fort and Lucy, posing in front of the snow couple that she built with Will.  That dark spot behind the snow couple is Charlie.  One of his favorite things to do is hide from Lucy, and then jump out and scare her before gleefully running away.  Minutes later he will sneak back to a hiding spot near where Lucy is playing, crouch down next to an unsuspecting Lucy with his tail waving slowly back and forth while he waits for it… waits for it… and then pounces on Lucy again.  She is always surprised, and the fun never seems to fade for him.

Let's hope it gets warmer in February as I'm afraid I might not be as upbeat about our time spent trying to enjoy winter.  Either way, February has been a hard month for us since we lost Luke and I'm anticipating this sixth February without our little guy as being no different.  Some better weather sure would help though, as we prepare to remember Luke on his sixth birthday.  I've met my yearly allotment of hot tea and hibernation and am ready for the first signs of spring.

Oh, Emma!

Emma.  Emma, Emma, Emma.  Emma has definitely tested our patience this month.  It's a good thing she is cute, because there have been times where all I could say is "Oh, Emma!" in exasperation while throwing my hands in the air.  The other day a friend of mine couldn't think of what Emma's middle name was but knew with certainty what Lucy's was.  Apparently when Lucy tests my patience I say (yell), "Lucy Anne!" but when Emma tires me out it is simply, "Oh, Emma!"  I guess Emma Elise sounds too sweet in times of frustration.  Either that or Lucy has worn me down to the point where there is no yelling at my second born daughter, just quiet desperation.

I know you will find it hard to believe that the cute comedian below would ever entice me to feel anything but love.  But this almost three year old definitely is capable of eliciting many emotions from her mother, on all ends of the feeling spectrum.

As a matter of fact, it comes as a sort of relief that Will has also been exhibiting Frustrated Parent Syndrome when it comes to Emma's antics.  Lately our routine when Will comes home from work is to take the girls outside to play in the snow while I collect my sanity and maybe even start to make dinner.  The other day Emma refused to put on pants, socks or boots.  In a final act of desperation, Will told her, "Fine, Emma - go outside."  Emma looked at Will with shock on her face, then she looked down at her bare legs and feet, and then back up at Will.  At which point Will asked for the last time, "Are you sure you don't want to put your pants, socks and boots on?"  Emma gleefully yelled, "NO!" and ran outside.  Upon hearing the door open and close way too fast for what I know to be the timeline of getting Emma ready to go outside, I curiously went to the window and saw Emma pausing, barefoot in the driveway, before cautiously and then happily running through the snow-filled backyard.  Shocked at what was taking place and concerned about frost bite I got on to Will for being mean.  He nervously reassured me that she would figure it out and come back begging for shoes.  We both watched with our mouths hanging open for a second (which felt more like ten minutes) and then I started hounding Will to go get her, for clearly she must not be able to feel her feet at all.  Why else would she seem uninhibited by bare feet in the snow?  Will's resolve was fading fast, but he kept telling me she would learn.  Fortunately for us, seconds later Emma slipped on a patch of ice and fell on her underwear clad bottom.  Finally, tears and crying!  Will rushed outside, scooped her up and brought her in.  His message of wisdom to her: "If you had your shoes and boots on you wouldn't have fallen on the ice!"  I would like to say that she has gotten dressed to go outside without a hassle from here on out, but alas, that is not the case.  It appears natural consequences are not the mode of learning for this child.

The other day Lucy came crying to us that Emma broke a bed in her doll house.  When I asked Emma how it happened, she said, "I climbed in for a nap and it went snap!"  A bit of super glue later, the bed was fixed but our sides definitely still hurt from laughing.

Emma was a very shy baby and can still be quite shy.  Lately, we have been surprised by her socialness.  She is always referring to her classmates in dance class as her best friends, and when class is over can be seen being silly and giving hugs to them.  Lucy and Emma started an All By Myself Science Story Time at our library this past month and the other day as I was peeking through the one way glass to see how the girls were faring I saw Emma sitting in the back of the class giggling and whispering to a little girl next to her.  Will and I are both shocked by how she has come out of her shell, and very pleased as well.  Will mentioned that he felt strange that he was proud to hear that Emma was talking during class!  I told him that I felt the same way, and that maybe we are just relieved to see signs of Emma being socially comfortable.  Speaking of socially comfortable, Emma apparently has a boyfriend.  I am happy to report that he comes from a good family and that his mother has already assured me that he loves cooking and cleaning.

Oh, Emma.  She is fast approaching three years old and is known around our house as a wild comedian with a carefree attitude whose favorite thing when she isn't harassing Lucy is to snuggle with her mama.  We are currently trying to get Emma to sleep in her own bed through the night and so I am trying to increase our snuggle time during the day.  It really is bittersweet to finally take a stand and not allow her in our bed as I really do enjoy our cuddles.  However, with my growing belly and Violet's arrival less than four months away, it is time.  So for now, it feels like I have a newborn with the constant sleep disturbances of bringing Emma back to her bed in as gentle a way as possible.  Thank goodness though, that unlike a newborn needing to nurse, Will can and does take shifts with Emma.  Hopefully by the time I write her next blog post we will have made some accomplishments towards this goal.  Here's my little snuggle bunny below, helping me make muffins.  Oh, Emma, you really are our little sweetie!

December

December was a busy month at our house as we did our best to prepare ourselves for Christmas.  It has been particularly cold and snowy which provided us with plenty of opportunities to put our holiday to do lists aside and enjoy some crisp air and exercise.  The girls built the little snowman pictured below in the top right hand corner with my hands-off tutelage one afternoon.  Will then came home from work and out did us with the snowman he built in the bottom right hand corner.  He's a competitive kid at heart and also enjoys the workout of pulling nearly eighty pounds of dead weight in the form of two giggling girls on an orange sled.  The girls also experienced their first solo cruise down a hill near our house and loved it so much they convinced Will to drag them up hill on the sled multiple times so that they could experience the thrill with no work on their part.  Maybe I'd like sledding more too if I had a ski-lift named Will to pull me back up the hill too.  I have been more of a sideline spectator this winter with my belly making it uncomfortable to bend low and roll snow balls and unsafe to pull sleds or ride sleds down hills for that matter.  Fortunately the girls are a bit older and can still find fun in the snow without me joining in.  They definitely love the rare occasions when Will gets home before dark and can play with them in the snow.  I am excited that from here on out the days will be getting longer and they will have more opportunities to play in the snow with Will on weeknights.

Charlie has been a great incentive for Lucy to go outside despite the cold, multiple times a day, if even just for twenty minute bursts at a time.  We have a fairly predictable schedule when Lucy goes outside and Charlie will come to the front window and meow if we are behind.  Charlie went missing for a little over 24 hours this past month and definitely gave us a scare.  We experienced first hand the disadvantage of having a pet with free range of the outdoors.  It was super cold the day he went missing too which added to our worry. He is only four months old, still a kitten.  He showed up the following day soaking wet and looking very grateful to be home.  We immediately smothered him in love then grounded him to the garage and made an appointment that very week for him to be fixed and micro chipped.  We also got him a collar, which he has already lost.  He's lucky he is so darn cute and lovable and we are happy he hasn't wandered far since his long night out.

Our holiday preparations officially started with decorating our Christmas Tree.  We usually put up our tree Thanksgiving weekend, however now that we have someone come in to clean our house, we decided to wait until the following weekend, right after our house was cleaned as we didn't know if we could pass off the dust as a fine layer of snow.  Will and I pride ourselves on our low maintenance holiday decor.  We have two Rubbermaid bins plus the box our Christmas tree is stored in.  We usually have everything out and decorated within two hours - and that is with two extra sets of kid hands helping.  Last year our pre-lit artificial tree started giving us trouble but Will was able to find the lights that had burned out and replace the faulty bulbs individually.  This added on an extra hour to our set up and was mildly irritating but promptly forgotten.  A year later and our tree didn't light up at all.  After several frustrating hours of Will trying to find the problem bulbs we decided it would be in every one's best interest to just buy a couple strings of lights and wrap them on the tree and call it a day.  Unfortunately, this set back sufficiently took away any Christmas spirit we were feeling as the kids had spent the last several hours getting into the decorations, fighting and whining about when they could put the ornaments on the tree.

Also on our holiday preparation list was building a play kitchen for the girls.  I found an image online of what I wanted it to look like and Will took it from there.  He spent about three weeks out in the garage in freezing temperatures with Charlie for company.  Charlie loved being a part of the building and even left his muddy paw prints on it on multiple occasions.  I contributed to the project by taking pictures, sewing some basket liners to store the play food in, and making a set of tea bags out of fabric and wild rice accompanied by a new tea set and a little wooden pot with a honey dipper.  Oh, and I anxiously hounded Will about his timeline and if he really, really thought he could finish in time.  If Will was worried about the deadline, he never let on and he finished with about a day to spare.

The girls and I made pine cone ornaments for our friends and family and enjoyed the simple process with beautiful results.  Will also utilized the paints being out, and gave baby Jesus a face lift by covering up missing paint chips and scratches for our Nativity scene.

We also continued our annual family tradition of decorating a grave blanket for Luke with homemade Christmas ornaments.  This year we painted wooden angels.

Will was quite busy at work this past month, wrapping things up for the end of the year.  The picture on the left shows his serious, hard-working side ready for a long day at work.  The picture on the right shows his fun, hard-working side, ready for an ugly sweater contest at work.  He found the sweater in the women's section at the Salvation Army complete with shoulder pads.  He's a winner in my book.

There are so many great family Christmas events in the town we live in that it is hard to fit them all into our social calendar.  This year we kept it simple and only went to what was our favorite event last year - our church Christmas party.  We had a great time, and the girls even mustered up enough courage to tell St. Nick what they wanted for Christmas.  Lucy asked for Barbies and a teddy bear, and Emma asked for Barbies.  I love the picture in the bottom left of the girls folding their hands to pray before lunch.

Christmas Eve we attended the Children's service at our church.  Last Christmas we were sick and didn't go, so it came as a surprise when we showed up a half hour early and there wasn't a single seat left in the place.  As I was trying to resign myself to an hour and a half of standing in shoes that were too tight while holding Emma, a kind older woman stood up and offered me her seat.  Under normal circumstances I would have never let an older woman give me her seat.  Pregnancy changes all of that.  To say I was relieved and thankful would be an understatement.  I immediately started crying and thanked her.  As I sat down with both kids on my lap - Will was still parking the car in a nearby subdivision - I still couldn't stop crying.  Blame it on pregnancy hormones or blame it on the fact that I was seriously relieved about being able to sit down despite the fact that the entire service was about a woman who gave birth in a stable after riding a donkey all day.  One of the many reasons I was not asked to be the mother of God I suppose.  Either way, my emotional display resulted in two kids who were slightly nervous of my emotional stability and as a result were super well behaved.  Here we are below after the service.  A kind family that we sat/stood next too during mass took our picture and we took theirs.  When they asked if we knew the gender of the baby we were expecting, I told them a girl and must have looked longingly at their family, who clearly had only sons.  The grandmother of the family who didn't speak English told the mom of the family to let me know that she had three daughters and was very happy.  She thought that I would be very happy too.  This really touched my heart and you guessed it, I started crying again.

After a long, icy walk back to our car (did I mention I was wearing black heels that were too tight?) I finally stopped crying and was able to experience the hush of the outdoors on Christmas Eve.  I love being outside on the night before Christmas - it always feels like we are the only people for miles around and everything is still and quiet.  I wouldn't have experienced this outdoor calm voluntarily on a 12 degree night if our car wasn't parked so far away.  The blessings come in such unexpected packages.  

We made it home and enjoyed a quiet evening of just the four of us.  The last thing we told Lucy before she fell asleep was that she couldn't get up until she saw the snowman (8) on her clock.  At 7:30 she finally tip toed into our room and told us, "I've been waiting and waiting, but the snowman just isn't coming!"  7:30 was a completely doable time to start our Christmas day, so we all happily made our way down stairs.  In the top left picture Lucy and Emma are excitedly waiting at the top of the stairs while I went ahead to turn the Christmas tree lights and Christmas music on.  I also snapped a picture of our tree laden with gifts before the storm hit.  The bottom two pictures were taken after the craze of gift opening had subsided - the calm after the storm if you will.

Santa brought exactly what Lucy and Emma had hoped for, as well as a yoga mat for Emma and stockings full of goodies.  Lucy got a box of new underwear and socks from us, and as soon as she opened the box said, "ugh, underwear" and tossed it aside.  Minutes later we found her stripping in front of the Christmas tree, happily trying on her underwear.  Emma enjoyed the distraction of her family and ate all of the chocolate from her stocking while wearing her new tutu.  Will seemed to enjoy his new pajama bottoms, gloves, a silver coin and heirloom seeds as his favorite gifts.  Highlights of what Will got me included a new pair of sunglasses, a wind chime he made himself, beautiful glass jars for storing my kombucha, a cast iron skillet and a kit to start growing my own edible mushrooms.  What can I say, my husband loves me just as I am, and knows exactly what gifts to get me.  

After breakfast the girls had already taken several photo shoots of their new Barbies and had even convinced Will to help put some outfits on their Barbies.

Around this time, Charlie came to the front window meowing.  On a regular morning, Lucy would have already been outside to give Charlie some love and attention.  As soon as the girls saw him, they opened the front door and told Charlie they would be out in a minute.  After quickly getting their winter gear on, the girls went outside and gave Charlie his Christmas presents.  In typical kitten fashion, he loved the wrapping paper more than the gifts.

For Christmas dinner we went to my parents house and the girls were excited to spend time with their cousins.

After Christmas we enjoyed lots of time with friends as well.  We went downtown with friends and timed it so that we would be on Main Street at 5 o'clock when all of the Christmas lights turned on at the same time.  We played "find the pickle" on the Christmas tree with friends, the girls put on a variety show complete with jokes, songs and dancing with some older friends, and they bonded with a new friend (the daughter of my longest time friend) with the cleanup of spilt M and M's.

The girls also had plenty of time to play with their new Christmas presents, their favorites being play silks and wooden clips for making forts, their play kitchen, a new instrument set, Barbies, and Play Doh.

For the last couple of years Will and I have enjoyed a quiet New Years Eve at home.  There is something to be said for bringing in the New Year in the peaceful comfort of your own home.  For a fun family activity on New Year's Eve afternoon, we tried a science experiment where we filled up balloons with water and food coloring and set them outside to freeze.  By evening they were mostly frozen and looked like beautiful crystal gems ready to herald in the New Year on our front porch.

When evening rolled around, we had a picnic dinner of various appetizers while watching a movie and afterwards cuddled on the couch.

Will and I did stay awake until midnight, but our peaceful night was shattered when the neighbors started sending off fireworks that sounded like cannon balls causing both girls to wake up screaming at the stroke of midnight.  After a quick Happy New Year's kiss, we scrambled up from the couch and climbed the stairs to calm down our frightened kids.  Emma wouldn't be comforted until we let her sleep in our bed (normally she slips in when we are sleeping so it was a big deal for her to have conscious agreement) and Lucy finally fell back asleep after we turned her closet light on and promised that the fireworks were done for the night.  As I tried to get comfortable with Emma breathing my air and hogging the covers, I couldn't help but reflect on 2013.  It was a year of huge emotional growth for me, from how I react to and view the world, to overcoming anxieties and launching a new business as well as Will accepting a new job and me overcoming some health issues with determination and new insights.  2013 was quite a year, and I definitely feel older, wiser and grateful as a result.

Even with the rough start to the first couple of minutes of 2014, I wouldn't have chosen to spend it with anyone else.  It is a wonderful feeling to bring in the New Year with the people you love most in the world in my most favorite place in the world and I am looking forward to 2014 and meeting the newest member of my favorite little family.

Here's to a happy and healthy New Year to all of my friends and family.  May your 2014 be filled with all of your favorite people and places too!