Opal's Second Month

At two months old, Opal is an integral part of our family.  She is smiling and cooing now, and when she looks into my eyes and smiles I swear her soul is shining directly into mine.  When Lucy was a newborn, I cried with every gained milestone, wishing she could stay my baby forever.  As sentimental as I still am, at least now I have the experience of what is to come, and that it just keeps getting better.  I love that Opal can smile and "talk" now.

Opal has an opinion of her own, just like her sisters.  I would be concerned at this point if she did not - I mean, how would she manage with three older sisters if she had no opinion of her own?  Her current opinions - baths are a terrible waste of time and doctor appointments aren't that great either.

She seems to enjoy walks and really prefers to sleep in her Rock and Play bassinet if she can't first sleep in her mom or dad's arms.  Some days she sleeps better than others, but it seems like lately, she goes for several day stretches where I can't even set her down for a nap.  In the bottom, right hand picture below, I am having a rare moment with hot tea and a sleeping baby that isn't in my arms.

 A friend of mine reminded me of the convenience of soft baby carriers for when I still need to get stuff done and Opal prefers to nap while held.  I don't know why I forgot about that, but am happy to say that it seems to be the perfect compromise for Opal and her mama.

Opal loves her daddy, and takes great naps snuggled on him.  And, just like her sisters, she already has Will pegged for the funny guy, and will stick out her belly and smile so big whenever she spots her dad.  

The sisters are still infatuated with their baby sister, and we are still discussing what the opposite of help entails.  Fighting over helping me with Opal is in fact, the opposite of help.  Lucy has been granted the responsibility of being able to hold Opal while walking around, and has even gotten Opal to sleep for me several times.  I think Opal may even regard Lucy as her second mommy, which fills Lucy with such pride.

Opal met her Uncle Tim and Uncle Chris on Easter, and even sprinkled her Uncle Tim with infant urine.  When he was holding her she also pooped crazy amounts, and we kept reassuring Tim that her poopy diaper wouldn't leak on him as he kept mentioning he felt "damp".  Sure enough, after he handed Opal back to me, he needed a shirt change.  This is the stuff family legends are made of.

 In the top, left two pictures below, Opal is sleeping through Easter in a vintage bouncer from when her daddy and Uncle Tim were babies, and also in a lamb dress that we bought after Luke told me in a dream we would have a healthy baby girl named Lucy.  It's been such a gift to see all four "healthy baby girls" wear it.

 Oh Opal, you look so much like your sisters, and despite our exhaustion, we are glad that you have opinions of your own - you will need them to hold your own as the youngest of four girls!

March Left Us a Little Lamb!

For us, March did not come in like a lion.  Since I had cleared my calendar of obligations for a couple of weeks leading up to Opal's birth, the first part of March was quiet and cozy with my girls and Will. We still had winter temperatures and snow, and that helped us feel extra cozy in our hibernation.  And, just as Opal's birth ended our hibernation, so too did the weather, which finally warmed up enough to allow for a few meals outside and sightings of the first spring violets in our yard.

I love the above picture of my four girls and Charlie.  Will was working late that evening, and eating outside became a party - no plates needed, and I was basking in the fact that I had all of my girls with me.  We had found a way to thrive, despite pizza boxes for plates and Opal not allowing me to set her down.  I am happy to say that several pizza box meals were had this past month, and in each scenario, Will was working late and either my friend or a delivery guy brought them and we enjoyed our pizza parties thoroughly.

The girls have played so well together this past month when they weren't fighting over whose turn it was to hold Opal.  Truly though, they have played together so well that my mama heart couldn't ask for more happiness than that.  In clockwise order from top left below: playing with their magnetic doll dress up set, putting on a dance show while jamming to Pandora, playing Barbies, and playing Legos.

After Opal was born the girls enjoyed lots of crafts given by friends and family, and Will even tried a craft of his own - super gluing a Barbie head back on one of Violet's broken Barbies.

Back in September, I had planned into our homeschool year an extra week or two off for when Opal arrived.  It really worked out great, and during the two weeks off as we all adjusted to Opal, the girls read lots of library books from the giant stack I had conveniently gotten less than 24 hours before Opal was born, did flash cards with my parents, practiced the piano and enjoyed cooking and baking projects.

Lots of games were played with both sets of Grandmas and Grandpas, stories were read with visiting aunts, and fun was had with visiting cousins...

...and visiting friends.

Memories were made in the below photos in clockwise order from top left: the girls and Grandpa T. making a snowman, the girls ready to eat some adorable Easter cookies from our aunt, the finished snowman with Grandpa T. and the girls, Violet ready to blow out a candle for Barbie's birthday, Violet holding a "blue haired doll" that she requested from her God mother as a big sister gift (and my cousin actually found), and finally, the girls celebrating Barbie's birthday with Grandma T.

It was so nice to have the flexibility of taking those two weeks off so that the big sisters could also be a part of our transition into our new life with Opal.  Violet had the most adjusting to do, and my mama heart ached for her and I both, as we learned how to be with each other in our new normal.  I had almost four years with Violet as my baby, and although Violet has nothing but love for her baby sister and her mama, she still had struggles with regression and melt downs.  Violet proudly tells people though that she is the reason "Opal got borned" because my water broke when I was fixing Violet's covers.  She also likes to tell us at times that she was the last baby I had before Opal, as if she is still adjusting to the idea of it all.  I am missing the free arms I once had to hug and snuggle Violet whenever she needed it, and also adjusting to just how big and independent Violet is becoming, especially when compared to her newborn sister.  In the top, left hand picture below, as well as the center picture below, Violet and I had some special time in her play tent reading stories on the first full day I was back home after having Opal.  I was so sleep deprived and in desperate need of a nap, but both Violet and I needed that time together in the quiet space of her little tent while Opal slept and I don't regret that missed nap for anything.

All of the big sisters have grown so much this past month.  Their anticipation of my needs, and ability to soothe Opal so I can finish my dinner or a shower before tending to her have really made me so proud of them.  I mean, they fight over who gets to help me (which really isn't as great as it sounds)!  Hence my well-used phrase of "don't be the opposite of help!"  In the next several weeks all three big sisters will be turning a year older, and I wish I could just slow down time.  As my hormones level out and real life continues to exhaust me and amaze me at the same time, my girls continue to grow.  Here Emma is below, sporting more lost teeth - two to be exact this past month.  Emma is still not a fan of losing teeth.

Oh, the hormones must be playing on my sentiments as looking at Emma's adorable toothless grin only magnifies the thoughts of how fleeting this time period really is.  Time to bring it back to real life with a home improvement project that was supposed to be finished before Opal arrived, but in true home improvement style, my house was a mess as things never go as smoothly as planned, and Opal arrived before it was finished.  Either way, the dresser install in the girls closet is now complete, and it has made a huge difference in the space and organization of their room!  Please note that I specifically had twelve dresser drawers designed into the dresser, just in case Opal joins them in their room one day - dresser drawers that can easily be divisible by three or four, as the size and number of our bedrooms are definitely not so easily divisible!  Maybe one day we will have all four girls bunked in one room, and we can turn the smaller room which is currently the nursery, into their play or study room.

The month of March will forever go down into our family history books as the month that Opal joined us earth side and I will say from here on out that March left us with a little lamb!

Opal is Here!

For the last couple of weeks of my pregnancy with Opal, I cleared my calendar and decided to do my best to enjoy my remaining time with just three girls to care for and spend quality time with them, as well as take quality time for myself.  Once I shifted my perspective from the challenges of being extremely pregnant to one of savoring the last few weeks of life as I currently knew it, the girls and I had a lovely week or two.  This could be my last time being pregnant, and it was definitely my last few weeks with Violet as my youngest baby.  We were having such a cozy time of it that when Opal decided to arrive six days early, I was almost disappointed!  Almost.  I was of course excited to meet my littlest gal, and hold her safe in my arms.  In the below pictures in clockwise order from top left: the girls and I snuggling just days before Opal was born, my parents making freezer meals for me that fit my dietary issues, and the pacifier clips and bunny ear teether that I made for Opal with the fabric that reminded us of an outfit of Luke's that we found when I was first pregnant with Opal.

Early Sunday morning of what would be Opal's birthday, I got up to use the bathroom for what felt like the 100th time that night, and as was my habit, went to check that Violet's covers were neatly on her, as that guarantees that she sleeps better.  As I reached down to adjust her blankets, my water broke.  About two hours later, after the fastest and most intense labor of my life, Opal arrived!  We were lucky we made it to the hospital in time, and I was lucky that her labor was so fast that I didn't need any medication intervention, as I was very nervous that I would be allergic to them based on my issues during this pregnancy.  

Once the shock of her fast arrival started to wear off, Will and I settled in to enjoy our newest little gal while we waited for our other three gals to wake up so that we could call them and tell them our news.  I couldn't wait for them to come and meet Opal and as we were talking to them on the phone, a nurse in my room mentioned that no children under the age of 12 were allowed to visit, as it was Flu Season.

Oh, the heartbreak as we told Lucy, Emma and Violet, that the moment we had all been waiting for was going to be delayed another 48 hours at least.  I had bought matching headbands to surprise the big sisters with when they came to meet Opal who would be wearing a matching headband in the hospital.  Will and I quickly regrouped, and he went home with the older girls headbands and we agreed to FaceTime with them wearing the headbands.  This helped the girls a little bit, and when Will returned to the hospital, he brought gifts from the girls for Opal.  Here Opal is below in the top, left hand picture wearing the bracelet Lucy made for her, next to the picture that Violet colored for her.

The rest of my stay at the hospital was very quiet.  I had a great view of a frozen pond and some woods from my window and even enjoyed watching gorgeous, big snowflakes fall from the sky.  As much as I wished the girls could come and visit, it did make for a relaxing and peaceful oasis for me, away from the hectic life I would soon enter back into.  I had brought my essential oil diffuser to use during labor (there was no time) that I then used for the next day or so (until a nurse came in and unplugged it and said they were not allowed in the hospital - ah well, I still got good use out of it prior to that!) as well as a meditation book, my favorite teas, and even a grounding mat (connects you to the calming energy of the earth by plugging into the grounding hole in a standard electrical outlet).  Despite my long nights in the hospital of no sleep and no help (Will spent the next two nights at home with the girls), I have to say that my time spent at the hospital with Opal will be a cherished memory of mine, as just Opal and I got to bond, get to know each other, and relax in quiet and peace.  It also helped that all of my meals were brought to me on a tray.  

And then, the happy reunion when we got home!  Here my girls are, all together at last.

Since Opal was due on St. Patrick's Day, which was also the day Luke was supposed to be born via a planned c-section exactly ten years prior, the headbands I had bought for Opal's arrival had shamrocks on them.  Nothing like matching accessories to help bond sisters for life.

The next excited family members to meet Opal were the Grandmas and Grandpas.  Opal is the fifth grandchild on Will's side, and the tenth on my side.  I'd say those are both lucky numbers to be! 

Here is Opal below meeting some of her aunts and uncles.  In clockwise order from the top left: Uncle John, Uncle Mike, Aunt Jenna, Aunt Jane, Uncle Pat, Aunt Cate, Aunt Joelle, and Aunt Maureen. 

And here is Opal meeting her cousins for the first time.  She has one more cousin to meet who was born in December and lives in Florida and who happens to be her God Sister too.

Next to meet were all of our friends.  Below are friends giving Opal sweet snuggles...

...and more friends giving Opal love.

The big sisters were so excited about their new baby, that we ended up putting them on "sister shifts" as the fighting over whose turn it was to hold Opal was wearing Will and I down fast.  

Statements like, "we don't kiss eyeballs" and "please don't yank her head" became regular requests, as the girls adjusted to life with a newborn.

 Opal had some jaundice after we brought her home and was extra sleepy from that.  She was very difficult to wake up when it was time for her to eat, and because of that, we ended up having to take her for weight checks at the doctor every other day until she turned two weeks old and regained her birth weight.  Once her jaundice cleared up, she began eating and gaining weight like a champ.  Here Will and I are below, enjoying newborn cuddles and me, breathing in that wonderful newborn scent.

 Pictures in clockwise order from top left below: Opal at her first chiropractor appointment, crocus that were in bloom in our yard the day Opal was born, Opal by the running faucet at the kitchen sink as the sound helps soothe her crying, the big sisters waiting at one of Opal's weight checks, and finally, Opal in a deep sleep at one of her weight checks.

 One of my favorite newborn things to do is take my babies to the nearby pottery studio for a tile with their footprints on it.  Here Opal is below, of course sleeping through the entire thing.  We did not live by this pottery studio when Lucy was born, and we never got to bring Luke home, so one Christmas a few years ago, Will surprised me with their footprints on tiles.  He had gone to the studio with their ink footprints from the day each of them were born, and replicated them onto the tiles.  One of my most favorite presents from Will ever (I'd say most favorite, but Will excels at perfect gift-giving).

Once Opal's jaundice cleared up, she became a lighter sleeper and also more vocal about her likes and dislikes.  She does not like diaper changes, getting her clothes changed, or baths.  She also prefers to sleep in our arms, or in a small cradle type seat called a Rock and Play that we got when Violet was a newborn and is in my opinion the only other piece of equipment besides the car seat that you need for a newborn (Violet and now Opal prefers to sleep in this over the crib at this age).  Even baby bath tubs are optional in my opinion, as you can see below in the top left hand picture.  Opal getting her first bath with an underwhelmed Violet who had been counting down the days until she could take a bath with Opal.  Opal screamed at the top of her lungs the entire bath, and my heart hurt for Violet who had expected a much different experience.  Perhaps Opal was voicing her opinion about how her very first bath was also underwhelming to her, as we didn't use the infant bathtub, and she had to share the water with a sister.  Fourth daughter problems for sure!

We also decided not to do the professional newborn photos at the hospital that we did with each of her older sisters because they were a ton of money - I swear the price has gone up with each child to the point where now it's just crazy - but also because her sisters were not allowed to come to the hospital and if we were going to pay that much money, we would have wanted everyone in them.  So, we tried to replicate the photos at home.  Once Opal's jaundice cleared up I was able to get a couple of good newborn photos with her eyes open.

But, I still wanted professional photos with the entire family.  My friend Emilee does amazing work, and has been photographing my family since Violet was a baby.  Here are the photos below that she took when Opal was about four days old.

The top two photos below depict such a real life moment at our house with the kids climbing all over Will, with me looking on with amusement.  Soon enough Opal will be in the mix, wrestling with her sisters and Will.

The above two pictures show so perfectly Will's and my thoughts and feelings on our bonus baby.  We are so glad that she is here safe and sound, and as for Will, it is the culmination of a vision he had before we were even married - that we would have four girls.  He was so certain of his fate, that the Christmas BEFORE I was pregnant with Opal, he had secretly gone to Target and bought the fourth color choice of the matching bed quilts I had bought Lucy, Emma and Violet for Christmas.  He proudly revealed this quilt to me after we found out that Opal was a girl.

And below are the three big sisters, so happy to have their own real life baby doll to mother and at times, smother with their love and affection.  The photographer asked Emma to pick out a book to read for the below photo, and I had to smile when I saw the book Emma picked: "I'm a Big Sister".

I think it is safe to say as I type this on Opal's six week birthday, that we are almost adjusted to our newest addition.  The girls have been a great help after the learning curve was figured out (yes, you have to share her with your other sisters, and no, eyeballs cannot be kissed) and we seem to have settled into a new routine which involves lots of flexibility and low expectations.  A friend of mine likened life with a newborn as caveman-esque - only the essentials like sleeping and eating are a priority, as we must conserve energy.  This is so true, and I am also reminded of advice someone (or I read in a book?) gave me a couple of babies ago about how in the beginning there are just tough weeks.  Then, as your baby grows, it becomes tough days with good days sprinkled in.  And then before you know it, it becomes just a few rough moments in otherwise great days.  Finally, you look back and realize you've made it and your life can afford more than just the essentials and you are doing creative craft projects with your kids and cooking meals that actually use multiple ingredients and a recipe. I do not want this phase of survival to be rushed, as newborn smells fade and once they can move, the snuggles become fewer and farther between.  It just helps to get through the rough spots of newborn life with a little perspective, thanks to Opal being my fourth daughter and the wise advice of family and friends.

Bittersweet February

For the last ten years, February has been a difficult month for me.  Before Luke, I never had anything against February besides its usual frigid temperatures and it being at the point in winter where it feels like spring will never come.  After Luke, it is filled with memories and reminders.  This past February started out even more bittersweet for us with the passing of Will's grandma.   I say bittersweet, because when you love someone, thinking about them is sweet, despite the sadness that comes with missing them.  Will's grandma will be greatly missed, but Will has so many great memories of her and I feel blessed to have almost twenty years of great memories of her too.  She always made me feel as though I was one of her grandchildren, which is saying a lot, since she loved her grandchildren more than anything.  And I am also so grateful that Lucy, Emma and Violet got to feel and know her love for them too.  Here we are below at Thanksgiving this past year with Great Grandma J., as my kids called her.  

After Great Grandma J's funeral, Lucy got to help divide up the flower bouquets and I was reminded once again of the talent Lucy has with flowers, and her eye for design.  She was in her element.  I am so curious to see where this talent will take her.

Fortunately, the following weekend in February we had a happy occasion to celebrate - my nephew's third birthday and my niece's first birthday.  It was fun to have the cousins all together, and I have to give a shout out to my brother and sister-in-law who cooked a steak and potato dinner just for me, as they know that steak agrees with Opal and I.  

Family and friends helped get me through the month of February.  Below are good times with good friends...at a new restaurant for a lunch date, at the park on an unseasonably warm afternoon, and single mom dinner when both husbands are working late and you have a passel of kids between the two of you that demand dinner whether dad works late or not.

We had a quiet Valentine's Day this year because I didn't have the inspiration to send out cards or make themed crafts or baked goods.  Fortunately for my kids, Will made Valentine's Day cards and bought chocolates for each of them and signed both of our names (my kids were not fooled and referred to the cards and chocolate as from Daddy) and grandmas and grandpas and my aunt spoiled them with cards, chocolates and gifts.  The kids were especially excited that Grandma T. had found a chocolate for them in each of their favorite animals - a frog for Lucy, a polar bear for Emma and an owl for Violet.  I received a treat in the mail on Valentine's Day, as the hat and scarf set I had ordered handmade from Lithuania two months ago finally arrived!  There is Emma below, modeling my new hat.

We plugged away at school this past month, and are at the point in the school year where it is running quite smooth and are even realizing that summer break isn't that far away anymore.  In clockwise order from top left below: Lucy and Emma dancing for Parent Observation Day at ballet class, Emma working on her Geography while Lucy is in her piano lesson, Violet working on drawing with me while her sisters are having their piano lesson, Violet showing her amazing cutting skills while at her sisters' piano lesson, a store list that Will asked Lucy to write out for him that was his idea of sneaking in more handwriting practice but Lucy turned into artwork, Emma writing out a thank you note, the girls lined up on a school morning because there is only one of me and three of them and they all needed something: for mom to put clothes on a Ken doll, check answers, and read spelling words, and finally, Lucy writing a thank you note.

We had lots of indoor playtime, as it is February, and some of the less self-explanatory pictures below are Violet showing me how to play cat's cradle, Lucy showing me her Ken doll all bandaged up after he had a serious accident, Violet marching solemnly through our dining room while Lucy sang the song from the Sound of Music "How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria", and Emma and Violet putting on a show for me.

I cannot even begin to explain the level of happiness it gives me to see my three girls play together.  When they fight, it is one of the most draining feelings.  Fortunately for me these days, they do play well together for most of the day.  Here they are below, in the snow.

Our weather warmed up for about a week and I realized that they play far more peacefully in the snow than they do in the mud.  They did find ways to entertain themselves though without the snow (just not for as long as if there was snow) and they had fun playing tag, Statues in the Park, Capture the Flag with Will, and making gourmet mud food at their outdoor restaurant for me.  We even had a snack on the front porch one day this past month, that's how warm it was.  Of course Charlie, after a winter of uncivilized socialization, broke up the snack crew with his licking and stealing of the cheese puffs the girls were eating.

Oh, Charlie.  He has become quite the lovable pest.  It isn't his fault that I am highly allergic to him.  But the cat can't take no for an answer.  Personally, if I was continually given the cold shoulder, I would move on but not Charlie.  He just climbs up on my shoulder now and sits there, purring contentedly as apparently I am his person.  I try to make my lap as unaccommodating as possible by leaning forward in my chair or keeping the book I am reading as a block (Opal definitely helps too) but occasionally he finds a way into my lap and when he finally does leave, I am left with muddy paw prints, hives where his claws went through my pant legs and cat hair everywhere.  A guaranteed load of laundry and a shot of Benadryl.  He's lucky he is so cute. 

Will is my person, and thank goodness he is not allergic to me.  Below are some of the many reasons that I am grateful to have him in my life: he supports me 100% in my honey business and makes no complaints about all of the manual labor involved in setting up and taking down my booth at different shows (not to mention the bee stings and manual labor that is beekeeping), he sees a challenge and is inspired to find a solution - from fixing my printer that I ruined even more after I attempted to fix it myself, to seeing the mess that is the girls' hair accessories in our bathroom and using a spare school supply caddy to organize it all so brilliantly, to caring for our chickens, to not feeling phased or stressed when all three girls want to help him make breakfast in the kitchen.

On top of which, he is the most amazing father to our five children.  Here we are below, doing our best to celebrate our firstborn's 10th birthday.  I have been torn for several years now about the environmental impact our traditional balloon launch has on the environment, but have been unable to think of a better way for our kids to symbolically interact between heaven and earth with their brother.  If Luke's birthday was in a warmer month, a butterfly release would be a no-brainer.  Will's solution - we will only release one balloon from here on out, and have thereby lessened our impact on the local plants and wildlife by 4/5.  Emma made a plaque of wood this year that she had each of us write a message to Luke on to leave at the cemetery, and there was even enough snow to make a mini snowman for him too.

We had a quiet day together, and made a homemade banana cake with cream cheese frosting that all five of us took a section from the top to decorate.  Friends delivered beautiful yellow tulips and the only kind of treat my body can tolerate right now (Hershey's milk chocolate bars - who knew!?), and we ate some of Luke's favorite foods from when I was pregnant with him - frozen pears, grilled cheese, beef roast, and of course, Tootsie-Rolls.  I was happy to be able to eat the frozen pears and beef roast.

I had some good cries on his birthday, and like the past ten years, was very relieved when his birthday  was over.  I am hoping that someday I will not dread his birthday, and focus only on the love that I have for my sweet boy.  We went through his memory box before bed, and read the stories that I read to him while he was in my belly.  Violet was hit by the weight of it, and went to bed crying heartbreaking tears while she clutched a "Luke stuffed animal" that was given to Luke at his baby shower.  This is the first time that the weight of missing Luke has hit Violet, and although my kids have never met their brother earthside, they feel his missing presence too.  I can honestly say that not a day goes by in our house where Luke's name isn't brought up by one of us, and for that I am grateful.  It is so nice to know that he holds his place in our family, no matter where he is.

It has been an interesting month emotionally, missing and remembering Luke while also preparing for and anticipating Opal's arrival.  Opal's due date on what should have been Luke's birthday ten years to the date has caused some increased anxiety in me, and I will just be so relieved when she is safe and sound in my arms and I can cover her in kisses and love.  After Luke's birthday was past, I started focusing in on what needs to be completed for Opal's arrival.  Here we are below getting ready for our newest gal: Will and the girls putting together the new umbrella stroller from Will's parents as our last one - from Luke's baby shower actually - finally broke this past fall, Will putting the crib together for the fifth time, the girls helping me sort through all of the girl baby clothes (my fourth time doing this and each time gets better because the sentimental memories just keep compiling with each daughter that has worn them), me sewing a little project or two for Opal, me with Opal's coming home from the hospital outfit, and finally, Lucy helping me with color choices for the sewing project I did for Opal.

Finally, Will cleaned out our car for the fifth time (okay, maybe not fifth time but based on the filth level, it sure seemed like it) as it only ever occurs to us how dirty our car really is when we are faced with the prospect of bringing a newborn home in it...

...and of course it took hours to clean and then to figure out how to put in all of the carseats and booster seats based on the requirements of who can independently buckle, who can't handle sitting next to who, and how mom will get all four kids into the vehicle as safely and efficiently as possible.  I think I may be staying home more, is all I have to say!  Thank goodness for grocery delivery!

So that was our February - saying goodbye to Great Grandma J., who I know spent Luke's birthday with him, remembering our Luke, and preparing for our Opal.  Isn't that just life though, the bitter with the sweet and the crumbs in the car from the ones that you love.