Violet at 28 Months

This is our second month of potty training and when I look back at where we started, things are improving but we are still not on easy street yet.  Truly, with Violet still sleeping worse than a newborn, I wasn't ready to potty train her.  Potty training requires a well-rested parent to be able to handle all of the extra logistics to go anywhere with a newly potty trained toddler, all of the extra laundry and all of the interruptions with accidents and needing to drop everything the moment a little voice tells you that she has to go potty.  BUT, Will was more than ready to potty train her and kept comparing her to the age of Lucy and Emma when they potty trained.  Not to mention how every time he bought a box of diapers he would make comments like, "hopefully this is the last box of diapers we have to buy for her!"  I kept Will in check until Violet started using the potty to poop and wanting - no, demanding! - big girl undies.  Fortunately the first week or two of potty boot camp Will was still home on his summer break.  However, after Will went back to work, Violet had some major regression.  To the point where I lost my calm, shame-free execution of the potty-training process.  Twelve accidents and clean ups in one day is just too much.  Especially since just the week prior she had maintained dry and clean status for entire days at a time.  That is when my cousin stepped in and promised Violet a present if she stayed dry and clean for a week.  Eureka!  It worked.  Violet was all about what she called, "a birthday present from my step mom."  Whatever you want to call it Violet, as long as I don't have to clean carpet or bathe you more than once a day.

The bribe worked, and got Violet out of her regression funk.  Here she is in the above picture, waking up from her nap to find a doll crib filled with twin baby dolls and accessories.  Violet was more than pleased and so was I!

Although, she still has not adjusted to her daddy being back at work all day.  Each morning she still wakes up looking for him and greets him at the end of the day with pure joy and excitement.

 We had hoped to catch up on sleep over Will's vacation, but unfortunately Violet had other plans.  I have been trying to get Violet into another Children's Hospital as we have been unhappy with the current Children's Hospital.  Six months ago I thought I had all of the paper work in to get on the waiting list for the new hospital.  When I called this past week to check on the status, thinking it had been six months and we should be seen soon, I found out that they had never received the proper paperwork, and so Violet was not in the system but if we resubmit the paperwork again, we can be placed on the now 6-8 month waiting list.  Oh, the frustration!  Plus, I am trying to send paperwork from one hospital who needs a doctor to request paperwork to another hospital who will not assign a doctor to Violet's case unless they receive her paperwork.  Each hospital is about an hour drive from our house, but it was coming to the point where we were going to make a day trip of it and just drive paperwork to where it needed to be.  I think we are finally set, after two solid weeks of calling doctors offices and hospitals every single day and sitting on hold and fumbling through phone menus while my kids tried killing each other.  Although I still haven't received a confirmation letter to let us know if we are in fact on the wait list.

It will be nice to have some more answers on how to help Violet, especially since sleep is such an important part of life.  Despite our struggles, Violet is still the light of our life and never fails to remind us what life is about.  Here she is below at the library, dressed in Emma's dress and flip flops, and Lucy's fashion glasses.  All items were given to Violet with her big sisters' blessing and she wears her "dip dops, spinning dress and glasses" with pride.  She loves her "spinning dress" so much that it has turned into her new incentive to stay dry and clean as if she gets pee on it, she has to put it in the wash.

Her fashion sense is unique and confident and she definitely has an opinion about what she wears.  Dressing her for public is a battle every single day - and more realistically, every single time we leave the house!

 Violet still holds the title for most adventurous and varied eater in our family, and so at least I don't have to worry about her nutrition.  She eats very well and it is so nice to have a child that actually appreciates my cooking.  I'm trying not to get too excited though, as she is still young enough to change her mind.  I turned some leftover oatmeal into cookies that no one else in the family would eat (including myself) but Violet found a way to enjoy them still - dunked in milk!

I just love the toddler age and seeing the world through their inquisitive and energetic eyes.  I especially love that I have a toddler and knowing her world more than anyone else is something I treasure.  The sweet hugs, kisses, goofiness and yes, even sleeplessness are all mine and I wouldn't trade this level of connection that I have with Violet for anything in the world.

July and Our Own Backyard

Will was on vacation for most of July, and he spent a good third of his new found free time being my on call artist, handy man, carpenter and free labor to help me pull off getting my booth ready for the local Lavender Festival.  I seriously got into way more than I could reasonably handle, and the scales of balance in my life were not in harmony as a result.  But, there is nothing like a deadline to help you dig down deep and pull out reserves you didn't know you have and I am proud of all that we accomplished.  As of right now, I am thinking I won't take on a challenge that big again until the kids are much older.  But, as the work fades and the fun memories stay on, who knows what I will decide next spring when offered the chance again.  I am hoping that if I do it again, it will be easier the second time around.  I know what to expect better, and my booth is completely built now too.  Plus, I have a better feel of how to make enough inventory for 10,000 plus people, and also how to assembly line the production of my products in more efficient manners.  All of this I learned through trial and error which takes up considerable time and energy but is a very good teacher.  Below are pictures of my family helping me pull off something they never signed up for when they agreed to be my spouse, my kids, and yes, my cat.  Even Charlie helped by being a giant ball of persistent, loving fur.  In the below picture, he believes he is helping me tie ribbons on bars of soap.

Will built most of my booth and the local craft stores provided the rest.  We found these really cool metal letters on clearance at one of the stores and Will and the kids tirelessly followed me to all of the craft stores in the tri-county area to find enough of the letters to make a sign.  After several days of searching, we had to figure out what to do without an "A" or an "E".  Leave it to Will, and he turned a "V", "Z" and an "F" into my missing "A" and "E" and just like that I had "Harding Honey".  Will also built display racks for my soaps and even took on the task of setting up and anchoring my tent.  Below is arguably the toughest part of the entire show - packing and setting up.  It was a tight squeeze, but by leaving behind two of my kids with my parents and taking their bigger car, we were able to get it all to the festival grounds in one trip without an inch to spare.

We lucked out with the weather which miraculously cooled off to the high 70's and low 80's for the three days of the show.  This not only made it more comfortable for myself and my two friends that came out to help me, but also for Violet to be able to come and be with us too.  I could not have handled the customer traffic if it wasn't for my two friends that volunteered to help.  They also sold their own items but by far put in way more time for me than they needed to and I am forever grateful for them.

I think my kids enjoyed themselves for the most part too.  Out of the three days at the festival, a family member or friend was almost always there, spoiling them and taking them around the festival.

Once I knew that I was going to participate in the Lavender Festival this year, I decided to look into doing a fundraiser for the National Foundation of Ectodermal Dysplasia.  My first idea was to make a violet infused soap to sell as the fundraiser, named after of course Violet, but also, violets are known for their hydrating skin properties and often ectodermal dysplasia goes hand and hand with dry skin.  Unfortunately, my first batch of violet infused soap turned out the color of puke and smelled horrible.  I could continue trying to perfect the violet soap, or move on to another idea.  Then my cousin came up with the idea of having something to sell that would help cool customers down, as the festival always seems to be on the hottest day of the weekend.  She even went so far as to donate several hundred cobalt blue glass spritz bottles to me and at that moment, inspired by her creative generosity, I knew what our fundraiser was going to be - a lavender cooling mist.  Not only was it the perfect product to spread awareness and educate people on the rare condition, it was also the perfect purchase for a hot day.  We sold over 120 bottles of cooling mist infused with springs of dried lavender over the three day festival and raised almost $700.  

But the "coolest" part of the entire experience was meeting the daughter of a friend of a friend who also has ectodermal dysplasia, and meeting her family too.  It was like meeting a long lost family member and it is so amazing to see the kind of person she is and to know that Violet will have a beautiful role model to help her journey forward.  As if that wasn't enough to make the fundraiser a complete success, a customer listened to my short blurb about the fundraiser and told me with surprise on her face that she believes she has ectodermal dysplasia but had never known there was a name for it, let alone a genetic condition.  We were both near tears by the time she left my booth, and I hope that she joins the foundation and becomes connected to others who share the condition that both she and Violet have.  Violet is only two, but as her mom, to find others that are facing the same challenges can mean the difference of feeling isolated and alone, or feeling supported and a part of a loving community.

All in all, it was an exhaustingly amazing experience.  I definitely couldn't have pulled it off without the help of my friends and family and I am so grateful for their enthusiasm and support.

After the festival was over, we spent most of the rest of the month at home.  I'd like to say we relaxed the entire time, but we had let so many things slide while I was trying to get things ready for the Lavender Festival that we had to play a bit of catch up.  But it was still more relaxing, as I had missed the slower days that are the result of not having a big deadline hanging over your head!   Will painted the garage and our fence...

.... and we picked berries in our yard and made several batches of strawberry jam, black raspberry jam, and a mixed berry jam.

We enjoyed slow mornings of pancakes, eating outside and cooked lots of fruit cobblers as well as bulk freezer meals to replenish all that we had eaten while I was in festival mode the last couple of months.  While preparing for the Lavender Festival it occurred to me that I feel like I am doing my best job as a mom when I prepare healthy home-cooked meals for my family.  It was hard to cook in a kitchen that was constantly brewing soap, lip balm or salves.  I was so very happy to have my kitchen and my time back to cook for my family again.

Breakfast was about the only meal we ate outside this past month, as it was just way too hot out.  We had picnics in the living room, movie nights and played Legos and did crafts during the hottest parts of the day.

We did kids yoga DVDs while the window air conditioner in the living room blasted full speed, and we even found my old friendship bracelet supplies and I taught Lucy and Emma how to knot bracelets.  In the below right hand picture is my wrist, wearing a bracelet that I had started in my youth, but then stopped after only completing an inch of it.  Lucy expertly finished what my 12 year old hands hadn't finished for one reason or another, and presented it to me. Talk about my past and present world colliding in a happy starburst of love and amazement!

Emma discovered our graphing calculators from high school, college and from the years that Will taught high school math.  She spends hours on them, and carries them with her wherever she goes.  She is figuring out how to use them while engrossed in play!  The below pictures in clockwise order from the top left: Lucy, holding a firefly she caught in a mason jar, Lucy wearing butterfly wings while swinging, all three girls getting ready to release black swallow tail butterflies into the yard, Emma playing with a graphing calculator, and Lucy and Violet playing with a frog.

The girls played with LOTS of play-doh this past month, and because of the generous gifts of friends and family, we ran out of play-doh for the first time ever.  To think we made it seven whole years without ever having to buy any play-doh!  Play-doh is so much work to clean up, but as long as we have several hours at home, it is always worth it in the end, as the girls will play contentedly for hours with it.  There is no free ride, and the price for the hours of happy play is the confetti-sized colorful crumbs all over the table, chairs and floor.  And don't get me started on cleaning the play-doh out of all of the nooks and crannies of the play-doh accessories.  Some of the days this past month were cool enough to use the play-doh outside, which is as close to a free ride as I've ever come.

We enjoyed lots of water play in our own backyard, as well as fun with power tools (bottom middle picture) and for some reason, the girls have tremendous amounts of fun filling their play wheelbarrow with water from the rain barrels and mopping the garage floor.  But before you think we have found a free ride, please realize that apparently there is only one "good" mop and they fight over that as well as whether or not one should free-style mop, or mop in carefully plotted patterns.  

We did venture out from our own property sometimes, but only for things we were really excited about doing.  How nice it was to not have any "have-to's" on the calendar, and only fun things.  We had fun swimming at our aunt and uncle's pool, which is as close to a vacation (if not better with no packing, unpacking or cranky kids) as we always leave feeling so refreshed from good fun, good food and good conversation.

We also had a wonderful time at my God daughter/niece's birthday pool party which again, left us feeling refreshed and happy.  Other family fun this past month included a giant inflated water slide at my cousin's 4th of July party with the added bonus of snuggling my newest God daughter, a backyard barbecue with friends that are like family, lunch with my cousin and her rainbow baby, as well as lunch at my parents house.  See the bottom right hand picture below, of my kids praying Grandma and Grandpa Hines style.

We had many local food adventures too, trying out a crepe restaurant, strawberry slushies from the orchard near us, ice cream cones from the cider mill, and finally, the highlight for Will and I, a Farm to Table dinner in our hometown with all the ingredients sourced from our local Farmer's Market.  The tickets were pricey, so Will and I treated ourselves to a belated wedding anniversary dinner and it was divine.  It inspired us to try to replicate many of the recipes and I can only say that I've improved the peach cobbler we had, but haven't come close enough to anything else.  It was so nice to be inspired with new ways to cook seasonal, fresh food though and I hope our town holds another dinner next summer.

We had other spontaneous adventures that didn't always involve food.  In clockwise order from the top left below: Enjoying a picnic at the property some of my bee hives are on, a beautiful garden my college roommate and I walked through at a herb farm north of us, my girls and I at the creek by our house, Violet touching Luke's etched foot prints on his headstone, Emma and Violet taking advantage of Lucy being gone at a summer day camp to have their baby dolls buckled in Lucy's spot, Will driving home with the girls after running through a parking lot in a torrential down pour, a blue robbin's egg I found on the sidewalk, and finally, my favorite picture, Emma's creative (but desperate) attempt at showing me which way was the exit after extensive whining about wanting to leave the craft store we were in.

We visited two different splash pads this past month with friends and even celebrated a birthday at one while meeting the newest addition to our tribe of kids.  

Lucy had a big month and was excited to have her dream of needing glasses come true.  We took Lucy to an optometrist who specializing in reading as Lucy has been struggling with reading this past year.  Come to find out, Lucy has been seeing double from about two feet out from her nose.  Our poor girl has learned to read in double vision!  After Lucy adjusts to her new glasses, we will take her back to the reading specialist and determine if her eyes have self-adjusted enough, or if we need to pursue vision therapy to help her eye muscles get on track.  Either way, Lucy is so happy and so responsible with her new glasses.

She even showed embarrassment when she noticed my eyes getting misty while she was being fitted for her glasses.  "MOM, come on.  You can't cry at EVERYTHING."  I had to laugh, but getting glasses is a milestone, and I can't help but mark milestones with tears.  I am proud of my girl and how she is growing up.  I just wish time would slow down!  Because of course she looks older and more sophisticated with glasses.  Lucy got to spread her wings a bit this summer too, adding to her more grown up personality, as it seems all of the fun summer camps start at age 7 and up.  She enjoyed a Little House by the Creek camp at the local museum, and also Vacation Bible School at our church.  This was hard for Emma, but we made sure to have fun while Lucy was gone.  Both Lucy and Emma enjoyed a yoga class at the library and both also enjoyed a three day dance camp.

Our happy vacation with Will home ended in a rough way for us.  We came home from a morning out and after playing in the yard for a bit realized that our neighbor's privacy fence that runs along our property line and shares part of our chicken run was torn down.  In shock, we started panicking and looking for our chickens.  It took us over an hour to catch all of them, as they were traumatized and scared.  After confronting our neighbor as to why he tore the fence down without any notice to us, he yelled that he has been a tax paying citizen for so many years and he didn't have to tell us what he was doing on his own property.  Just like that, our peaceful, happy garden felt torn open and violated. As our yard was no longer a safe place for our chickens, we had to pack them up and move them elsewhere.  Our neighbor still is extremely angry with us and has not been open with communication.  We have heard through neighbors though and in the few confrontations we have had with him since, that he believes our chickens are keeping his house from selling.  I can't help but think that now that his privacy fence is gone and the back of our garage and bare dirt is exposed to his yard that this won't help his cause of selling.  The top left hand picture below is of Will and Violet collecting eggs just days before the fence was ripped down.  Violet keeps asking "where chickens go?" in the saddest voice.   We are going through a grieving process with our chickens gone.  They were so much a part of our lives from opening up the coop in the morning with a "good morning ladies!", to closing it each and every night with a "good night ladies."  I always enjoyed the routine and how it connected me in ancient patterns to the weather and to day and night.  Most of our food scraps went to the chickens and it is still so difficult for me to put it in the garbage now that the chickens are gone.  They made the best garden compost around - something that a compost bin cannot match in efficiency or nutrients.  Even just picking off the Japanese beetles from our raspberry bushes and tossing them in to the chickens to eat is something that I sorely miss.  Not to mention collecting eggs, still warm, from our own backyard that minutes later would be whipped up into a yummy breakfast scramble or a delicious baked good.  Our yard no longer feels like our little slice of heaven, but instead an exposed and painful place, empty without the loved personalities of our sweet hens.

Our city's ordinance about chickens states that if you have an acre of property, you can have 12 chickens.  We have under an acre of property, so have always tried to keep 11 or less.  We knew all along though that if someone were to have a problem with our chickens that we would not be protected in keeping them.  Five years ago we went to our city hall and asked how to go about getting chickens.  We talked to many different people at the city offices, and they all either had no idea, or just thought we were joking.  Finally, it came down to that as long as we had no complaints, we could do whatever we wanted.  Four years later, I believe it is time for us to change the ordinance so that the mood of our neighbors doesn't dictate how we feed our family.  To think that a dog that barks 24/7 is a right, but to keep something that makes little to no noise (we don't have a rooster) and feeds our family is not a right.  We have become so far removed from our own roles in feeding ourselves that someone's bad day can take away one of our food sources.  That very day our chickens were set free to the neighborhood we took our kids down to city hall and began the process of changing the ordinance.  It could take weeks or it could take years, but as long as I am a resident of this city, I will be persistent in getting the ordinance changed.  It is time to take back our food rights and as daunting as the task seems, I keep reminding myself that I am responsible for my own backyard and if I don't like it, I have the ability to change it.   Will and I feel very strongly about raising our own food and teaching our children through hands on experience where food comes from.  We love our house and our city however we are trying to keep our hearts and our minds open as to where we are to go from here.  Our house and our location are secondary to our beliefs in how we want to raise our family.  If God is nudging us towards a change of scenery, so be it.  But until we have further direction, we will be working to change the ordinance on chickens, as well as doing our best to be an example to our kids as to how to manage anger and the appropriate way to handle a situation in which anger is directed towards you.   We are bummed that our vacation with Will was tainted by our neighbor's anger and are battling with so much internal frustration about this entire situation.  We will however rise from this unfortunate event stronger, wiser, and even closer to our goals.  It may take a while, but as I read the other day in a Facebook quote, the time will pass either way, so why not try to do something while it passes.

Violet at 27 Months

Violet has been a handful this past month, even with two full-time parents to handle her as Will was home on vacation.  Although, the below picture occurred with just me home.  While I was on the phone with my sister, Violet flipped out of the front door, through the screen.  I yelled, tossed my phone, and dove after her.  Fortunately Lucy picked up the phone and explained to my sister what had happened and that besides shaken (and in the case of the screen door, torn) we were all okay.

Violet has let us know in various ways that she is ready to be potty trained, so this past month we took on the challenge, thinking with two parents home, how bad could it be?  You would think our third time around too, that we would be completely prepared for the task ahead.  The first day we went shopping without a thought in our head, or a diaper bag in our hand, and were aghast when Violet alerted us to the puddle around her in aisle 8 of the craft store.  Will took care of the puddle while I took Violet to the bathroom.  I wrapped the wet underwear in paper towel and stuffed it in my pocket while coaching Violet to leave her dress down while we finished our shopping.  All was going well until Violet decided to show Emma, "Look Emma I no wear undies!" in the checkout lane.  A nice couple behind us spoke a different language to each other in hushed tones which I could only translate to: "We must keep our son away from this family!"

The first day or two we went through about twelve wardrobe changes a day.  We are now at an accident or two every day, but with a few days sprinkled in of no accidents at all.  We've washed and scrubbed so many things, and are now more prepared.  We bring back-up outfits as well as wipes and her little frog potty if we will be gone for too long.  Violet is still wearing diapers at night, and will wake up in the morning dry every so often too.  I am not ready for the laundry involved with night time potty training, so at this point, she seems okay with wearing a diaper to bed, so we will wait as long as we can before crossing that bridge.  Besides, she hasn't slept through the night a day in her life yet, and I don't want her worried about keeping her jammies dry to give her another reason to wake up.  She wears underwear for naps, since her naps are generally no longer than 30 minutes.

All in all, Violet is doing amazing with potty training, especially considering how hot our summer has been and the fact that she doesn't sweat.  This equals crazy amounts of peeing, as she has to drink more water than the average two year old to maintain her body temperature.

Violet had two ear infections this past month, and it was so hard to see her in so much pain.  They were her first, and it was heartbreaking.  Fortunately our chiropractor was able to adjust her at last minute appointments and as soon as she hopped off of the table, her ear felt better.  I'm wondering if all of our swimming has attributed to them and if perhaps we should look into ear plugs for her.  We have spent so much time in water play with Violet - every single day I have swimsuits hanging to dry and towels going in the wash.  It has been the only way to deal with the extreme heat of the summer while still allowing Violet to play outside.  I'm not complaining - in fact I think it has helped us enjoy all that summer has to offer to the max!

Now that I'm thinking about it though, her ear infections also could have been related to the fact that she is getting two molars!  This is a big deal for Violet, and once her molars are completely in, we can start the next step in her dental plan.  We are very excited for her teeth, but wow, has she been cranky and not to mention how it has affected her already poor sleep.

Violet learned how to use a big kid swing this past month.  She LOVES swinging!  She loved swinging before in her baby swing, but this leap to a big kid swing has elevated her love for swinging even more.  The unfortunate thing for Will and I though is that she demands us to push her and while we are pushing her, whines and complains about how we aren't pushing her high enough.  This gets old very fast.

Despite her being a handful, she is adorable and cute and squishy.  I am always telling her, "Violet, you are so cute!" To which she responds, "I not cute, I Violet!"  For which I respond, "Violet, you are so adorable!" To which she responds, "I not adorable, I Violet!" And on and on we go...

Violet loves playing with her baby dolls and spends much of her day taking care of them.  She also loves doing crafts at the table with her sisters including drawing, play-doh and painting and will demand play-doh non-stop which I usually say no to because it is so messy to clean up.  Violet loves painting our nails at her beauty shop in the basement, and also loves playing outside.

She is such a goof, and sometimes she is funny without even trying.  The other day Will went to grab his briefcase for work and found Violet's play laptop tucked on top.  She has a love of fashion glasses, and also will destroy any lip balm she gets her hands on.  She half chews it, drools on it and smears it on her lips.  Fortunately, it is all edible since I make it at home to sell for Harding Honey, but it does cut into my bottom line if I accidentally leave the lip balm within her reach!

Violet likes to tell anyone who comes too close to me, "MY Mama!" while squeezing her way in.  Lucy and Emma like to respond back that I was their mama first which makes Violet even more possessive.  Violet loves to impersonate people and even when tattling does a pretty good impression of the tone of voice and inflection that Lucy or Emma used when offending her.  She also is very expressive with her lips and likes to put on a pout face to be funny and can hold a straight face while delivering a joke.  She also loves singing and while listening to some of our well-worn playlists in the car can be heard from the backseat singing every third or fourth word which is amazingly cute.  Violet, you exhaust us, entertain us, and tackle life with such energy and fun!  You are the comic relief and the reason I can't relax or sleep.  You are lucky you are so cute!

Expanding our World in June

June was a busy, happy month for us.  One of the highlights was Lucy and Emma's dance recital.  They did an amazing job and shone so bright on stage.  

I love the family we are forming at their dance studio, and how their fearless leader teaches my girls not only dance, but how to be a part of something bigger and to include everyone, no matter what their ability may be.  It goes without saying that hard work and perseverance are also lessons that they continue to learn on their journey with dance.

We have a couple of recitals under our belt now, and although I am no longer balling my eyes out when my babies are on stage, my favorite part continues to be when I meet them after they come off of the stage.  They are so radiant and filled with such joy and pride.  It takes bravery to dance your heart out on a giant stage, but the bravery pays giant dividends when you take in the gratitude of the audience after your performance.  Of course the week before the recital Emma came down with a horrible fever and pink eye.  I don't know if it was sympathy pains (or sympathy itching) but I felt like I was coming down with pink eye too so we treated both of us with eye drops and chamomile tea bags to soothe the itching.

Violet was actually the one who came down first with the fever, but Violet has fevers all of the time due to her inability to sweat so we didn't think anything of it.  After Emma came down with the same symptoms (plus pink eye) I felt bad that I wasn't more sympathetic when Violet was sick.  Emma was better just in time for the dress rehearsal and Lucy ended up getting sick the day after the recital was finished.  Phew!

Another big highlight of our month was going to our very first conference for Ectodermal Dysplasia.  It was a local conference for Michigan, Ohio and Illinois and it was only a couple of hours away from us.  We decided to make a mini vacation of it and had a wonderful weekend.

To think that if Violet didn't have Ectodermal Dysplasia we would have never had our mini vacation. We would have never met the amazing families also affected by ED and our world wouldn't be as big.  I wouldn't wish ED on anyone, but I have to say that it has created such an amazing bond to complete strangers that have hearts of gold that I am forever grateful to Violet for our new family.  It was also so healing for us to hear the stories of other people affected like Violet, and to see how they are thriving despite it.  Violet has a bright future ahead of her, and so many kind, loving and spirited people to help her now on her journey.

We hit the beach, a sand dune trail and an amazing farmer's market on our vacation too that I really couldn't have asked for more.  Unless of course if we could have helped the mood of our teenager trapped in a seven year old's body.  She decided on the sand dune trail that we had ruined her life, and that this was the worst vacation of her entire life.  Will and I were not prepared for such emotions and regret our awkward laughing, as I think it may have escalated things further.  Two blisters later, Lucy learned the valuable lesson that when mom says to pack hiking shoes, you really should just pack hiking shoes - despite them ruining the look of your outfit that you had planned for the day.

Lucy and Emma took a week of swim lessons this past month for the first time and they really enjoyed their time in the water, but more importantly, the fancy hair drying station after their lessons. They are going to a kid swim school that is a bit pricey for our budget, and so we decided that Violet would sit the lessons out until she was a bit older.  I told Violet that she had to be older to take swim lessons and she was okay with that.  UNTIL.  Until we arrive at the girls first lesson and there was a toddler swim class going on at the same time.  Violet heard one mom tell another that her daughter was two and then it was all over for me.  Violet took my face in her hands and yanked my head so that I was looking right at her and said, "VI VI TWO!!!   VI VI SWIM TOO!!!" I finally got her off my back by promising to take her to the family open swim.

Swimming will be a good activity for Violet, however I am hesitant about the pool Lucy and Emma are swimming at because it is over 90 degrees in the pool area.  So, budget or not, I will wait until Violet is older so that she can better regulate her own temperature and not be the kid that pukes in the pool.

This summer has been extremely hot and has been breaking all sorts of temperature records.  Because of that, unless we are swimming outside, Violet needs to be indoors in air conditioning during the heat of the day.  This is a change for us, as we used to live outside all summer, eating all of our meals and doing all of our crafts and play outdoors too.  We now make sure to get outside in the early morning and in the evening and then find creative ways to spend the hottest part of the day indoors.

Lots of crafts, snacks and movies, stories and playing house.

There was one day this past month that dawned cool and crisp.  The girls and I made a last minute decision to pack a lunch, hop in the car and head to the zoo.  I'm so glad we did, as it may be our only zoo trip until fall at the rate the weather is going.  We had a great time and the only thing that would have made it better is if Will could have played hooky from work and joined us.

Despite the weather, we did not hibernate all month.  We had yoga classes, Lucy had vacation bible school, the girls and I took an herb walk class, and we enjoyed time at the farmer's market, park and library with friends.

We still had plenty of back yard play with classic things like the slide, play doh at the picnic table,  bubbles, and sidewalk chalk.

Our covered front porch gets a really nice breeze and so instead of our usual picnic table meals in the backyard, we moved some lunches to the porch.  Our backyard is in full shade by mid-afternoon, so that also helps us get outside while keeping Violet more comfortable.

Our suburban farm produced bowls of strawberries, raspberries and blueberries and I was able to harvest rhubarb, lavender, herbs and of course eggs this past month too.  The longer we have been gardening, the more we are starting to realize that we do the best with perennial plants that thrive without out too much fuss in our garden.  This includes the berries, rhubarb and herbs.  I think our garden is slowly evolving into an edible perennial paradise.

Lucy seems to appreciate gardening the very most, and loves finding frogs, caterpillars and flowers in our yard.  The below pictures in clockwise order from the top left: if our family was watering cans, Lucy holding a black swallow tail caterpillar she found on our dill plants, a habitat Lucy made for her frog that was very feng shui and Lucy collecting flowers.

Charlie continues to be loved by his humans but is developing quite a reputation with the local wildlife.  From a bird or a mouse's perspective, his name is probably know around our yard as Lucifer.  So many times birds are dive bombing his head and squirrels are yelling at him from the trees.  One evening the girls and I were outside enjoying our yard while Will was at work for a late meeting.  All of a sudden we heard two robins chirping so loudly that it could more appropriately be described as bird screaming.  We immediately knew Charlie was to blame and ran to investigate.  Sure enough, Charlie had a baby robin in his mouth.  The robin was still alive though so we poked Charlie with a broom handle until he dropped the bird and then we locked him in the garage with a dish of wet cat food.  The baby bird seemed to be okay, however it was too young to fly.  Emma showed me the tree that she saw Charlie jump out of with the baby bird but I couldn't find the nest.  So I set the baby bird down at the base of the tree and text Will to park in the driveway as Charlie was grounded in the garage and I didn't want him coming out.  The next morning we had to get my car out of the garage and Charlie was once again free to roam about the neighborhood.  When we came back from our appointments, Charlie was lounging in the backyard with a lazy and smug tail wag, while the mom and dad robins were back at dive bombing his head.  I'm assuming he got the baby bird after all.  

That very same evening that we tried to save the baby bird, a college student had knocked on our door and asked for our participation in a campaign to shut down a pipeline in the Great Lakes that is past it's prime and a risk to the safety of the water and all that depends on the water.  The girls and I each wrote a letter or drew a picture for the cause and that night, Lucy told me that "It's exhausting trying to save the world." Yup, and try as you might, sometimes it still doesn't have a happy ending.  But at least we know that we tried, and that's all you can do.  But, saving the world one fish or bird at a time does lead to some very good sleep!

We enjoyed family get togethers this past month, and got to hold our new baby cousin Annie, who is also my God daughter.  Tears fell when I told my cousin look, "my baby is holding your baby."  It's amazing to believe that my cousin and I are now able to watch our own daughters grow up together.

We also celebrated birthdays including a belated one for me with my family, my dad's, my brother's and Will's mom's birthday as well.  For Grandma T. we made a garden stone complete with our kids hand prints.

My brother got married this past month in Florida and I was unable to go for various reasons, but the main one being my kids.  It was the same day as Lucy and Emma's dance recital, and also, I still am unable to leave Violet and taking her with me was not an option as Florida in June would have been way too hot for her.  I do not regret my decision, although it was one of the hardest decisions I have had to make.  However, even though I don't regret not going, it was still incredibly sad for me to miss my own brother's wedding.  My sister in law got me through it though by patiently encouraging me for the week prior to download SnapChat and then she proceeded to SnapChat the entire wedding for me.  It was the next best thing to being there and it really helped me get through missing it.  Imagine my tears of gratitude though when my brother and my new sister in law sent me a package with baby pine trees - the favors from their wedding.  Now I can plant the trees and feel like I was a part of their day, even from far away.

We planted flowers at Luke's, my grandparents and Will's grandpa's grave this past month.  They are drought hardy plants, but I am hoping they make it through this crazy hot summer we are having.

As painful as it is to plant flowers at your own baby's grave, I have to say that Luke has also opened up our world too.  We are more compassionate to others who are grieving and we understand first hand how to help those going through a rough time in their life. We have formed bonds with other families who have lost children and whenever we meet another parent who knows the pain of losing their child, our relationship automatically goes from stranger to family.  It is interesting to me how struggles can create such strong connections.  The pain we have encountered in our lives has broadened our horizons and given us rich experiences of which we would have never had otherwise.  If I had it my way, I would still pick for Violet to be birth defect free, and for Luke to be with us on earth, whole and healthy too.  But I did not get to pick, and as there is nothing I can do to change matters, I will choose gratitude, and try to recognize the silver linings when they come my way.