Despite accepting an offer on our house the week that we listed it, the sale was not moving fast at all. Our appraisal came in for way under the value of our house and so we had to wait for another appraisal. This set the sale of our house back for weeks. The buyers also tested our attic for asbestos and got the same results we got when we bought the house eleven years prior - that there was no asbestos detected, but a tiny asterisk stating that no test is fool proof and 0.05% could be there, which was enough for the buyers to demand that we pay the very expensive cost of asbestos removal or they would walk away. This was an emotional roller coaster and every single day found us waiting on pins and needles. The sale of our house should have never taken as long as it did, but looking back on it now, I can see that God was at work. We closed on our new house the very same morning we sold our current house. We ended up paying the entire asbestos removal price to the buyers, but they ended up allowing us to rent our house from them for up to 60 days after the sale while we tried to find our next house. And, since we bought a fixer upper that was not yet livable, the fact that we sold our house the same day we bought the next one gave us the maximum number of days for us to get the next house livable before we were homeless.
But oh, the pain of obtaining a brand new mortgage when you were only three grand away from paying off your last mortgage. From the start of our 22 year relationship together, Will and I have been motivated to become 100% debt free and retire before 50 so we could pursue more balanced work without the pressure of working to pay bills. Buying only used cars, making most of our food at home, gladly clothing our kids in mostly hand me downs, and Will and I both having side hustles - him with an electrician, both of us with our honey business, and me with my Etsy business. We would have had our current house paid off in only two more months. We had been counting down for that moment since we bought the house almost twelve years ago. If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans for sure! BUT, that being said, our careful financial planning is how we are able to afford our current crisis. Yes, we are starting from zero again, but starting from a negative number would have been way worse. At least we had the financial flexibility to take on this fixer upper of a house and to deal with the health problems from our last house. I wish that we were currently enjoying the freedom that comes from having no mortgage or car payments and the feeling of security that zero debt can give you. But the truth of the matter is, we are all just one crisis away from homelessness. There is no such thing as security. It is very humbling to realize that you can't live life with zero risk. And so, here we are, humbly grateful to have a home, and to know that things could have worked out way worse.
We had a fall family photo shoot planned weeks ago with our friend who is a photographer. It just so happened to fall on the day we bought and sold our houses. Talk about timing! I messaged our photographer to possibly reschedule and she suggested we use our new backyard for the photos. It couldn't have turned out better. It made the bittersweet day end with pure joy, as our sweet photographer of many years brought with her a feeling of celebration and love as she took our photos. Leading up to a photo shoot is always stressful as I try to coordinate six people's outfits and honor each family member's style and preferences. But every single photo session we have had with my friend is always an experience of love and family bonding. It's like a pause in time, that reveals to just how amazing the gifts of my family are to me, and how grateful I am to be a part of this family that Will and I have built. And knowing that the photos literally capture this moment makes it all the more special. I will forever be grateful to our friend for playing such a magical role in the start of many great moments and memories in our new home. Here we are below in clockwise order from top left on the first full day we owned our new house: Lucy and Emma camping out in the driveway, Violet and Opal taking a break from running up and down the hill, our friend Glen and his amazing mold canine, Molly, Will carrying out an expansive set of vertical blinds as part of the beginning stages of demo, Will taking a break from demo for a photo, and finally, the first of four dumpsters needed to gut this house.
We had a mold and asbestos company through the house before we purchased it, and testing revealed there was asbestos flooring and ceiling tiles in the basement which fortunately we were able to have the cost of that removal taken off the price of the house (we totally realize the irony of this situation). There was mold found as well on the basement wall where a basement window had been left open to idiotically vent the dryer. Come to find out, that basement window was open for the six years that the previous home owner lived there. The home inspector believed that this was a situational mold, and not an indicator of a systematic problem. We also knew prior to purchasing the house that the first floor bathroom floor was rotted due to a slow toilet leak and needed to be replaced - and that too was taken off the purchase price. We could assume there was mold there too. We cautiously moved forward with the purchase of the house and decided that until remediation took place, only Will would go into the house, and only with a full respirator. When demo began, we found more mold and the good news is, because every single wall and room got completely torn out, we were able to take care of each mold spot 100%. The only way I could see the progress though was through photos. To give you an idea of the stench in this house, when Will ripped out the original wood flooring it was revealed to us that the subfloor was saturated in what we can only guess was dog poop and pee. When Will came home from working at the house, even his clothes and hair smelled of this odor, it was that strong.
The girls and I did everything we possibly could to help that didn't involve going into the house. We shopped and picked out tile, fireplace brick, flooring, plywood, electrical supplies - you name it. I coordinated with contractors and trouble-shooted when problems arose with them. Sometimes Will was on FaceTime with me as I scanned an aisle in Home Depot for the exact thing he needed. I had Will measure the windows for me so I could begin sewing curtains for the house.
I had high anxiety, not being able to go into the house and having to trust that Will was taking care of any mold he found during demo in a careful manner. Will is not known for his attention to detail when it comes to dirt, mold or cleaning. It is just not his talent. I am OCD, anxious, and meticulous when it comes to potential mold. This was a test in trust for our relationship and I can't help but think that this situation played out for us both to grow together as a couple. Will also had doubts about my decorating choices, as the below conversation reveals:
Me: ***trying to figure out how to decorate an entire house on a budget, spending hours and hours.***
Will: I don't like tinker thread.
Me: What?
Will: That painted burlap stuff.
Me: Ticking stripe?
Will: Yeah, ticking stripe.
Me: ***Making a mental note to tone down the stripes, but still deciding to keep some.***
I spent so much time online finding fabric that I liked at inexpensive prices for window treatments, flooring, tile, paint colors and also searching for furniture on Facebook Marketplace. Part of what we loved about the house we sold is that we had over the years built all of our dressers and bookshelves into the walls. So, we were starting from scratch on dressers and shelves for the next house. Furniture everywhere was backordered a minimum of six months, and the price tag on it was not conducive to our budget. So I started finding what we would need on Facebook Marketplace and auction sites. This led to a lot of driving and an unfortunate mishap as well. I found a beautiful French Provincial dresser for the girls' room at an estate sale an hour away and even relied on the goodness of strangers to help me load it up since Will couldn't spare a second away from the house renovations. Driving home I started to have serious allergies. By the time I got home, I had a full on anaphylactic reaction. This dresser had a serious odor and I was seriously allergic to it. What a waste of gas, my very limited time, and the price of the dresser. I was so frustrated. Will did a thorough HEPA filter vacuum of our car and I drove with the windows down for weeks. Who even knows what was on/in that dresser, but I can only guess mold. After that experience, I opted to stop all used furniture buying and bought each girl her own plastic three drawer organizer to use until our budget could afford new furniture. My levels of stress during this past month were so very high. In the photos below in clockwise order from top left: an upset-at-having-to-unpack-the-dishwasher daughter dropped an entire stack of glasses on the counter that shattered everywhere and I almost had a nervous breakdown from this (the glass that broke the mother's back, and as I told this daughter, if she hadn't of used up all of my energy with her whining about unpacking the dishwasher, I might have had the mental capacity to handle the ensuing glass disaster), the girls standing next to our new 60-day paper chain to help us comprehend how much time we had left in our beloved house, the dresser that almost killed me, a sign I found at the local craft store that spoke to me - complete with pine trees like our new house has, and finally, a particularly rough day where I kept wondering why the tea I was sipping had no flavor. I think the tea says it all.
We bought the new house on October 4th, and starting October 5th, I got to experience what it is like to be a single parent and Will got to experience what having two full time jobs is like. Every single day after work, Will went straight to the new house to work on it. Every single weekend he got up before the sun and worked on the house until he came home and crashed into bed (after a shower of course because he came home absolutely filthy from working on the house). For the next sixty days, this was going to be our reality. Our hope was to be able to have the new house move in ready when our lease expired on December 4th at our current house. We knew this would take a miracle, but we were going to definitely try. Everything we needed was on backorder, and every single contractor had a booked schedule. Some took pity on us and moved their projects around to help us out, but others we just had to wait for. We thought that as long as the walls and floors were done as well as at least one bathroom, we could move in. So that was our plan, and we have never worked harder in our life to make that happen. The girls were a huge help (despite the one grumpy dishwasher unloading mishap), and I think all six of us grew and matured as we tackled the shared goal of making a new home for us.
Here are the girls below in clockwise order from top left: Lucy reading in her absolute favorite spot - the front porch swing and what she will miss the most about our current house, Violet and Opal snuggling in the backyard, and Emma, Violet and Opal with a leaf maze they raked in the backyard.
Lots of inside play happened too. In clockwise order from top left below: Violet with a giant snowflake she made, Opal putting on a show, Opal playing with Play Doh, Violet using noise canceling headphones and iTunes on our iPad to pretend to be a DJ, Violet and Opal hosting another drawing shop, Emma with ice packs rubber banded on to her ankles (I do not remember what injury sparked this), and finally, Emma and Violet making rubber band bracelets.
In the below photos, I let the girls pick out mini pumpkins at Trader Joe's. When we got home, Opal told me, "These pumpkins are so cute! I just want to squeeze their chubby little cheeks!"
The following conversation with Opal has become family legend as I type this five months later. It went something like this:
Mom: We got a new kind of hot dog tonight!
Opal: Noooo! I'm not going to eat it!
Mom: Just try one bite.
Opal: Noooooo!
Mom: One bite and if you don't like it, you don't have to eat any more.
Opal: Okay, fiiiiine. ***takes a bite of bratwurst***
Mom: So, how do you like it?
Opal: Fiiiine. I love it.
Mom: You are my foodie.
Now even Opal has joined in the fun of this legend, and a favorite responses to give someone when you are feeling reluctant, but know it will be good is "Fiiiine. I love it."
In the above photos, we found Charlie snuggling on the blanket that my neighbor brought over to stay warm as we sipped tea and watched our girls play. I will miss our tea chats and I know Charlie will miss the blanket. In the bottom, lefthand photo above we found our neighbor's cat taking a nap in our rhubarb and he looked so cute. Our neighbor's cat, Otis, always tried to make friends with Charlie, but Charlie never returned the sentiment. It is sad to know that they will never have the chance now since we are moving. In the below photos, we are spending time with friends in outdoor, COVID safe environments: my friend Krista and I in an open air barn decorating gorgeous pumpkins, Violet and Opal coloring with our neighbor who Violet is going to miss so much, and finally, Emma, Violet and Opal playing with friends in the driveway.
We met other friends at the cider mill and had gorgeous weather while we made golden memories, and we also hosted a weekly yoga class in our backyard.
We celebrated Will's birthday this past month and because he had to take a few days off from work for the house demo, he went to work and then we all went to the pumpkin patch when he got home to still keep the day feeling special and out of the ordinary.
October was filled with excitement and perseverance and patience and hard, hard work. We found beauty, we found moments of humor, and we found out that each of us were stronger than we ever knew. Below in clockwise order from top left: a leaf mandala I made in our driveway, food that Emma packed for Will who was known to skip eating while he worked at the new house, our lovely October garden making me sad to leave it, our wildflower meadow also looking so pretty, and finally, the reality of a garage office - sometimes a stink bug gets smooshed when you use the printer.
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