February has always been the longest month of our year since we lost Luke. This February was a month to top all others. It started out good enough - on the first day of this month we had mild weather and so knowing that I had double foot surgery scheduled the following day, I decided to take advantage of the temperatures and get outside as much as possible. Lucy, Emma and I spent the morning downtown, window shopping and buying little treats to nibble on. It was a picture perfect outing, with Emma strapped on my front in a carrier and Lucy content to ride in the umbrella stroller. Here she is below eating a dinosaur cookie from a cute little European bakery on our walk.
Later that day, after Will came home, we took another walk as a family. I know that everyone thinks their own kids are cute, but I was amazed at the cuteness zipped up in that hoodie and had to take some pictures.
The following day was my surgery. Looking back now, it is shocking how sick I was and I am amazed that I lasted a week before I finally went to the ER. Here I am below feeling completely wiped out on the couch with Lucy keeping me company.
As I mentioned in a previous post, Emma took my four day hospital stay in stride and seemed no worse for the wear. Lucy on the other hand continues to verbalize how she missed me and how she didn't want me to go to the hospital in the first place. She is also worried that I may go to the hospital again. I am glad that she can talk about her worries, and at the same time, it breaks my heart each time she tells me in a tiny, tear-filled voice,"Mama, I missed you when you were at the hospital." Or, "Mom, I didn't want you to go to the ER. I wanted you to stay home with me." Here she is below on one of her visits to see me.
Unfortunately, my arrival back home did not signify the end of our trials. Lucy got the stomach flu that was going around the hospital and was sick for over a week. It is difficult for Lucy to wind down for sleep, so when she fell asleep in the middle of the kitchen floor we knew she was still under the weather. The silver lining to my poor baby being so sick is that she is back to taking naps about 50% of the time now that she is healthy again. This is better than none at all! I also have discovered that if you make the nap worth her while - a.k.a. offer a bribe for a nap well done - she is more likely to take one.
Several days after Lucy came down with the flu, Will caught it and was sick for three days, and then Emma and I caught it at the same time. And then I caught it again. We were battling the flu on Luke's birthday and had to delay visiting the cemetery until the following day. I think this picture below sums up the month of February for us. Like my snazzy medical-grade shoes?
Lucy has done remarkably well, considering all of the stress our little family has been under this past month. I don't know if it was her not eating for 10 days straight or me being gone for four days, but she looks like she has lost the baby chub in her face and seems so grown up to me now.
She can reach more things than I can remember and her pants are starting to look a bit short on her too. She even mastered the art of using scissors this past month as well!
Playing make-believe with her dolls is still her favorite thing to do and it occurred to me the other day that with all the toys we have in the house, the objects she uses the most are her dolls, blankets, decorative pillows, dining room chairs, a set of stacking cups and bags of all shapes and sizes. She can make the most ordinary household items into the most creative things and can turn the most well-organized household into a disaster zone in under a minute flat.
I waited for February to be completely over before I even dared to type up this post. I didn't want to jinx anything, especially with this February having an extra day in it. The last time our calendar had leap day on it was the month we had lost Luke. I remember wondering what kind of cruel trick fate had in mind, to seemingly rub salt in our already open wounds by adding an extra day to the worst month of our lives. Flash forward four years later, and I am having some of those same thoughts! And although this month has been tough, it still wasn't as tough as the February we lost Luke so I will count my blessings and just breath a sigh of relief that we made it through this month. I will also make sure that my freezer is stocked with ready-made meals, my house is clean and my bills are up to date come February 2016.
Now it is March and we are preparing for spring at Casa de Timmerman. I am optimistic that as the days get longer and the temperatures get warmer that my health will continue to mend and we are through the worst of things for the year. I promise a post soon with all of the details of our exciting spring plans!
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