August 2021

Remediation of our house finished at the end of July, and so we wasted no time in putting our house up for sale directly afterwards.  We contacted our favorite cottage rental up north, and asked him if we could stay there for a week while our house was shown.  We were so happy when he said it was available, and hoped that our house would sell the week we were up north.  It would be priceless to not have the stress of strangers walking through our house during a pandemic and having to keep it constantly clean with four kids living there.  So, up north we went and we left the sale of our home in the hands of our very capable realtor.  

Packing up for a week vacation for six people including food is a feat in itself.  Getting the house ready to show potential buyers while also packing up for a trip was something I hope to not do again, any time soon.  When we got to our happy place though, it was all worth it.

My family of six is happy at the beach.  A peace settles over us.  It is blissful.  The youngest two in our crew feel this same peace and bliss at playgrounds.  So, we tempered the begging for playground time with a few visits to our favorite up north playgrounds.

The oldest two of our crew (Will and I) feel this same peace and bliss on hiking trails.  Since we have the driver's licenses, we tried a hiking trail each morning.  At this point, we just rotated through our favorites as we have been here enough to know which trails we love best.

The youngest four of our crew do pretty well for the most part on hiking trails.  It helps that they each have their own interests to discover when hiking.  In clockwise order from top left: Opal loves drawing with a stick in any sand or dirt she finds, Violet loves holding my hand, Lucy loves finding amazing photo opportunities, and Emma loves any physical challenge she can find.

I myself am looking for views, and the hikes we love have plenty to offer.  I think it's safe to say that Will enjoys it all, and takes one for the team with our heavy backpack and carrying Opal for the majority of it.  All of us enjoy the picnics.

Every evening we were torn about whether or not to watch the sunset on the sand dune or at the cottage fire pit.  Talk about vacation problems.   Here we are below, on the evenings we chose the sand dune.  We usually brought cookies with us and enjoyed the view and the giant sand box as we watched the sun set.

 Enjoying the sunset at the cottage campfire is also a wonderful time, and the s'mores make it even sweeter.  The below photos I will title: "S'mores and Selfies."

It was difficult for Will and I to relax completely, knowing which dates and times our house had showings, and waiting to hear the potential buyer feedback.  Before our trip was over, we had accepted an offer on our house.  Our prayers had been answered, we would't have to keep the house in showplace order when we got back.  Or so we thought.  We didn't realize all of the other events needed including home appraisal, home inspection, walk throughs, etc. for selling a house, but still, the fact that we had an offer in place still cut down on the foot traffic immensely.  The photos in clockwise order from top left below: a little toad we found when we arrived at the cottage on the first afternoon, a monarch greeting us upon arrival, the girls picked up flower petals from the ground and decorated the porch swing while we packed the car on our final day, Will and Lucy deflating the inner tubes on our final evening, Will popping out a homemade chicken pot pie we had brought for one of our meals up north, and finally, the sunset in front of our cottage.

We had mixed feelings as we drove home.  We had mostly sadness at selling our house, and we knew we were one step closer to saying goodbye, despite the good news of having a buyer.  In clockwise order from top left below: my gratitude at seeing the hand sanitizer and masks our realtor had set out for all the people who walked through our house, Will putting the strawberry runners into pots so we can take some to wherever we are going, Will trying to breathe when we find out that things are not going smoothly with the selling process (attic insulation tested negative for asbestos but there was an asterisk that said O.05% was still possibly present and now the buyers are demanding thousands of dollars to remediate or they will walk away), our favorite maple tree in our backyard lost a huge branch in a storm, narrowly missing our house and we couldn't help but think it was symbolic to our move so I gave the tree a hug.

The girls did a lot of bead art this past month, which has easy clean up.  Emma did a huge Harry Potter square with some help from Lucy.  It was like performing an operation to iron that one into an adhesive unit, but I pulled it off.

Kids will be kids and although we had some moods about moving, for the most part they played as usual.  In the top, middle photo below I found a hair tie in the fridge.  I don't even ask why any more, but I am certain that no matter how carefully we clean when we move, the new owners will be finding hair ties for years to come.

Opal loves having tea parties, and in the below photos she is enjoying them with sisters and me at different times.

Lots of outdoor play happened this past month.  In clockwise order from top left below: enjoying an after dinner ice cream cone, trying to decide if spilled potato chips are worth crying about or licking off of the pavement, some American Girl doll furniture that Will and Violet made, and a drawing by Violet.

The fireflies were out this past month, and watching my kids catch and release fireflies is one of the most magical things I've been lucky to witness.  Here Opal is below, giving some love to a firefly she caught.  I think God made fireflies slow on purpose so that kids could interact with them so easily.

We have perfected the rotation of pens for our chickens so that they always have grass to free range on.  Below they have been just let loose on fresh rye and clover.  Once they turn this pen into mud, we will block it off and plant more seed for them to do the rotation all over again.  Rye grows in just a few weeks and it took us a few years to learn an efficient combo.  One of the reasons we were happy to accept the offer of our buyers, is they loved the suburban farm and asked to keep our chickens in the sale.  We will miss the chickens, but since we don't know where we are moving to yet or if we will be living with family for a while, it was a major stress relief to know they would not be homeless and can continue to enjoy the home they've always known.

Next up on what I will miss includes my wildflower meadow and my peach tree.  I was grateful to know that this would be the last harvest of peaches I would enjoy from my tree.  At least I got to say good bye and savor the peaches to the fullest.  Peaches are my favorite fruit, and this little peach tree produced so well for us.

We went to a sunflower field with friends this past month.  It was super hot with no shade, and a little too hot for Violet but thankfully we brought an umbrella to provide shade for her.  Being unable to sweat takes away the carefree feel of summer for us, as we need to be sure there is always available shade and water for Violet or it could become a medical emergency.  In the beginning of the trip, Violet was embarrassed to use the umbrella as no one else had one, so she opted to use her jacket as a shade covering.  But the jacket just made her hotter and as she started feeling worse, she begrudgingly took the umbrella.  Kids just want to fit in, and it hurts my heart that she doesn't have that choice.

I think she still had a good time, and it was nice to do something that was COVID safe with friends.  We are still cautious of COVID, and any time we get to spend safely with friends is such a happy occasion.

My longest-time friend, from fifth grade, came for a visit from Chicago this past month.  Oh the joy of this reunion, as we hadn't seen each other since pre-COVID.  We kept the visit outdoors and put masks on to hug the heck out of each other.  A silver lining to COVID is we would have never spent that day outside if it wasn't for the pandemic.  It was super hot and humid and sticky out.  But, we made the best of it with the slip and slide for the kids, a cold couscous and veggie salad for lunch, the girls homemade lemonade and watermelon and I think it was way more fun and festive than if we had stayed inside in the air conditioning.

We had another playdate with friends we hadn't seen since COVID, and despite rainy weather, utilized our covered front porch for a lovely visit.  In between rain showers the kids played in the yard.

Seeing our friends this past month were definitely the highlights in an otherwise sad month as we moved closer to saying goodbye to our beloved home.  In times of trouble, it helps me to have a written list of the simple things that I can do every day to bring me joy.  On my list after connecting with friends is making gemstone jewelry and cuddling Charlie.  In the photos below from top left in clockwise order: when the necklace you made your friend and your own necklace break at the same time, you fix them at the same time, me snuggling Charlie and then us both disinfecting ourselves afterward - me with a wardrobe change so my allergies calm down, and him with a spit bath.  The next photos show what happens when little hands get into the beads I am using.  Oops - some landed in Opal's oatmeal!  And finally, a pattern I am making for another friend's necklace.

August launches the busy season for the math posters we sell, and we ended up needing to order more.  It is our first reorder since we started the business in 2012.  This time we ordered a smaller amount, since we didn't know if we would have the space to store them at wherever we were going to next.  We will miss our huge garage with the upstairs storage.  The girls helped us collate the posters and cap the tubes.  The center photos below show me making the last payment on my new business so I am now debt free from the start up costs, and me working on my new business website.

We are trying to remain hopeful that if God told us it's time to move, that he has also prepared where we will go next.  It's hard to not feel discouraged though, as now it has been two months and we still haven't found a home to move to.  So many unknowns and just sadness at having to say goodbye without any concrete hope for the future.  This past month was perhaps the hardest month yet mentally, emotionally and physically as we walked the walk of faith and wallowed in our proverbial desert and my mold symptoms (severe exhaustion, brain fog, crazy sweating during sleep or any physical exertion, insomnia, anxiety, severe sensitivity to chemical odors to the point where I can't go into stores or Will wear deodorant around me, allergic reactions that leave me sipping Benadryl and terrible facial swelling) as well as Lucy and Emma's continued to get worse.  The remediation company told us that cross contamination was a real risk when remediating with the method that they use, and I believe that is what happened in our house.  On top of which, we found out that they didn't use the proper safety protocols.  We tried fighting this with them, but it was our word against theirs and we decided to drop it.  We were leaving after all, and the new homeowners would have an 18 month guarantee with our paid receipt so they could fight this battle if they so wished.  Sadly for this company, we have many contacts in building biology and they definitely burned a huge referral bridge when they messed up and misused the thousands of dollars that we paid them.  I know as I type this how the story unfolds from here and I wish I could say that it gets easier.  What I can say is that without fail, every time I feel stuck in the desert with God, he reveals to me at a later time that every moment was bringing us to our next chapter, in the best way possible.  I can say after this month, that the irony was not lost on me that despite this being one of the hardest summers of my life, I also spent the most time up north I ever have in one summer in my happy place.  For that silver lining I am thankful!

July 2021

We look forward to the month of July all year because Will has the entire month off of work.  This year, July was stressful and underwhelming after happily anticipating it for so long.  But, as I collaged the photos for this post, I am reminded of the good times that we still managed to have, and how life continues to move forward, no matter what you are struggling with.  Most of Will's time off was spent getting our house ready for remediation.  I can't even imagine pulling this off if Will was working, and for that we are grateful.  I've known from the day I met Will that he is a hard worker.  This past month he worked harder than I had ever seen anyone work, all to make things safe for me and the girls.  We are fairly organized (I used to work for a professional organizing company!) and that helped us so much.  Much of our items in the basement were already in plastic bins, and so they just needed to be hauled up out of the basement and the plastic bins disinfected.  However, my entire business for The Bees Weeds, Harding Honey and my new Wildflower Moon are all in the basement.  That was a time-consuming task to disinfect what we could save and set up my work room in our garage as we awaited remediation.  Will's workroom was also in our basement, and so every tool, piece of hardware and paint can also needed to be thoroughly disinfected and brought outside.  Thank goodness we have a huge garage, as the garage became the holding pen for what used to be in our basement.  In clockwise order from top left below: facial swelling due to mold, dancing in the basement wearing a respirator as the basement has not been remediated yet but there is a tornado warning, putting plastic on every thing on the first floor that we didn't take out since our floors are old and there is high risk of cross contamination when the basement is remediated, the rafters after remediation looking like brand new wood, our basement during remediation, and finally, our garage stocked with our pantry, my workroom, Will's workroom, kids toys, all the hand me downs we store in the basement, and any other manner of stuff that we had to take out of our house for remediation.

During this past month as we awaited remediation, we grappled with whether we should stay and try to fix the root problems of our house or look into moving.  We started looking online at houses and were floored by how expensive everything was.  In clockwise order from top left below: Lucy sent me a chain of texts with links to houses she found and in that chain was a drawing she made and a fake link to go with it, Violet made a drawing of a blue house we found online, a flow chart for Will and I to try and figure out what to do from here, and finally, Opal with a list of features we would want in a new house.

After some serious prayer, sleepless nights and many conversations, we asked God to give us a sign as to how we should move forward.  Our prayer was answered the very next day when Dave, the Building Biologist that Will works with in the summer, shared his opinion.  We are grateful he was brave enough to be honest, despite how hard it must have been to tell us that he believes we should move.  Will and I looked at each other and knew this was our sign from God.  We trust and value Dave's opinion, and you can't find a better expert in safe homes.  So, we started packing and called my cousin's wife who is a realtor.  Our first goal needed to be getting the house ready to put on the market.  This is no easy feat with four kids and a house still awaiting mold remediation.

Our realtor hired a professional photographer to take the photos of our house, and we were given a checklist of items to take care of before the photo shoot to ensure our house looked it's best.  This was almost as much work as getting the basement ready for remediation.  On the day of the photo shoot, we had exactly 61 minutes left until the photographer came.  I came downstairs after declaring victory on the upstairs, ready to tackle the first floor knowing I had only an hour left.  I then discovered Opal in the living room with a pair of scissors and tiny triangles of paper alllll over the living room floor.  Agh!!!!  She told me, "Look mama!  I made stars!"  Oh, sweet baby!  Yes, you did!  Then, the photographer arrived 45 minutes early!  We ended up just shoving all the last items into our car.  Picture driving to my parents house for dinner (we couldn't be home when the photos were taken) with soap dispensers, random jackets, extra shoes, a toilet plunger, and other random stuff just rolling around in our car.  As Will and I are catching our breath and realizing just how sweaty we are, Opal pipes up from the back seat and proclaims, "Isn't moving fun?!"  All we could do is laugh.  Here is Opal below, this time making the phases of the moon.  She did this all by herself and fortunately we weren't showing the house at that moment.

It was six weeks from discovering the mold in our house until the remediation company could fit us in.  We could not live there while remediation took place, and it took a week.  So we moved in with my parents, into my childhood bedroom with two kids in sleeping bags on the floor, and another two kids in sleeping bags in the living room.  I have no pictures from that week besides the two below.  My parents fed us so well while we were there - three from-scratch meals a day and breakfast was even to order.  Our friends lived down the street too, so we got to see them several times by just walking down the street to play, which was a bonus.  I brought rhubarb from my garden and my mom and I cooked up lots of rhubarb at her house.  My mom even made Will a lunch that was fancier than he's ever had packed before while he worked at our house during the day.  Each day we drove to our house to take care of the chickens, Charlie, and for me to do shipping for my business.  It was strange to feel like we were living between two houses and stressful as well.

After spending a week at my parents house, we went up north and spent a few days with Will's family.  For Christmas, Will's brother gave us all a trip up north together with his family.  The timing couldn't have been better, as it was during our time of being homeless.

It was cold and rained every single day we were there, which was a bummer.  We still made the most of it though and took hikes in between rain showers and dressed warmly to explore the beach.  One evening, family friends who have a cottage nearby stopped by for a bonfire.  Their youngest daughter is just a year older than Opal, and the two of them hit it off right away.  It was so cute to see, especially since Opal really hasn't had a chance to make friends of her own with the pandemic around for half of her life.  By the time the night had ended, the girls were calling each other their requested nicknames of "Fluffy" and "Flower" and I hope to get them together again soon.

Of course the last day we were there, the sun came out and warmed the beach.

It was time for us to go home though, and hope that remediation went well.  When we got home, our goal was to continue sprucing up the house so it would sell.  We love our home, and never planned on leaving it.  Our gardens alone were something I had never thought of giving up.  Our asparagus bed, apple trees, peach tree, raspberries, blueberries, strawberries, rhubarb and herbs not to mention our wildflower meadow and all of the bulb flowers we planted that come up in the spring.  Our hearts were breaking and yet we still had a peace in knowing that we were meant to leave.

We absolutely love our front porch that looks out onto green space, and the space for a porch swing and just general warm weather living.  I wanted to enjoy every minute we had left with our porch.  In the below, right hand photo below, we are enjoying a thunderstorm, one of our favorite things to do on our amazing covered porch.  Opal is wearing noise canceling headphones so that she can enjoy the storm too.

There was so much work to be done this past month, it really forced us to move through the depression of moving.  Especially since we were moving without the excitement of a new place to go to.  And it seemed like every house available on the market was either too expensive, too moldy looking, too far, too small, or too ugly.  Nothing could compare to our adorable bungalow in walking distance to a beautiful downtown, green space across the street and close to our friends and family.  This was a true leap of faith we were taking - to trust the message that God had given us, even though we had no idea where we were going to end up.  It's interesting how something can be so incredibly difficult, but under it all you have a peace and certainty guiding you.  

Despite these hard challenges, looking at the photos below reminds me that we still smiled, we still laughed and we still lived this past month.  In clockwise order from top left below: Will bringing all of us to check on things at work and Opal setting herself up at Will's desk, acting like she owned the place, running into our friends at the grocery store and chatting for a while, commiserating with my sister via text as she tried to find comfortable shoes for a wedding she was standing up in (seems like the Hines sisters were born with triangle feet but if you see the diagram below, our triangle feet are facing the wrong way for stylish shoes), a train track Violet and Opal built at the chiropractor's, and Violet showing me that she brought healing salve on our evening walk for the mosquito bites.  The mosquitoes have been SO SO BAD this summer.  The worst I ever remember them, and probably because we have had so much rain.

My kids were not happy about moving, but seemed to take it in stride.  They were very unmotivated in helping pack and at times it felt like they were living their best lives while Will and I worked harder than we have ever worked before.  At one point, as Will and I were trying to pare down their over abundance of toys, Violet asked Will if she could go online and shop for Barbies.  Um, read the room Violet!  Read the room!  We are currently trying to pack all of your toys and you are asking about buying more?!  And don't get me started on Legos.  How do you move Lego sets that the kids are insistent on keeping built?  I swear half of our boxes were filled with built Lego sets.

The kids took advantage of Will's and my distraction this past month with more freedom in the pantry and with screen time.  I came downstairs one afternoon to them watching TV with a giant homemade snack bowl filled with all sorts of things I would have never agreed to.  Look at those guilty grins in the top photo below.  Lucy is offering me some, to try and win me over.

I like the above photo of all four girls on the couch watching a movie with Charlie watching in the window.  I will miss this.  Will our next house have a window for Charlie?  Will our next house even be safe for Charlie to continue his outdoor cat life?  My heart hurt about how this move would affect Charlie. More so than it hurt to think about the impact on my kids.  Obviously we would be making real estate choices with my kids as number one priority.  But could we afford to make real estate choices that were the best for our outdoor cat as well?  Oh, my heart.  Plus, what about moving our chickens?  We had fortunately decided in the spring when our bees didn't make it through the winter to take a year off from bees.  It was getting too dangerous having the bees so close to me and having to sit in my backyard with an epi pen was no way to live.  That tough decision definitely made moving easier - having to move bee hives or try to find a place to relocate them would have been just more stress on an already stressful situation.  Plus, we were also worried about what to do with our chickens.  I told God that I could say goodbye to the chickens, but please Lord, I cannot say goodbye to Charlie.  Please.

Will and I kept reminding ourselves that although we are grieving the loss of our beloved home, at least we are all staying together and that home is wherever I'm with you.  We can overcome anything, as long as we are together and healthy.  And the point of the move is for us all to be healthy again.  This amazing man found a slip of paper that I don't remember writing when he moved my workroom.  It read, "Write a well-written book that will help save the earth."  He kept it for me and here he is below, showing it to me through our kitchen window.  He has never looked more handsome to me than he did at that moment.  A man who is willing to move heaven and earth for me to be healthy, and who also supports me in following my dreams.  We celebrated our 17th wedding anniversary this month, and although I don't remember what we did to celebrate, I will never forget how Will and I handled this past month together. 

My finished journal arrived in 12 boxes this past month, and although it is self-published, it is pretty close to my dream of writing a book to help save the earth.  Here I am below in my new workroom.  The printer is plugged into an outlet in the ceiling, and the best part, is Charlie keeps me company while I work.

My First Period Kit was finally complete this past month, and it was exciting to see everything come together after 14 months of planning, creating and producing.  Will was there every step of the way and is an amazing example of an evolved male.  The perfect guy to raise four daughters.  The bottom, right hand photo below is the front passenger seat of my car, stocked with online orders ready to go to the post office.

After our house was remediated, our new fridge showed up.  Will put in new trim in the kitchen and although we were excited to have a real fridge again, it was bittersweet knowing that we would be moving soon.

When you get married young, it is hard to comprehend just how much you and your partner will go through together.  There is no way to understand just how brutal life can be until you have some life under your belt.  While I am grateful that Will and I didn't know what the future would hold when we got married 17 years ago, I would do it all again, as long as he is by my side.

When It Rains it Pours - June 2021

The winds of change turned into a gale force by the time we arrived home from my lovely 40th birthday celebration up north. When we opened the back door upon our arrival home, a God-awful smell greeted our noises. My first thought was that we forgot to take the garbage out before we left. If only. Upon going into the kitchen to begin the unpacking process, I discovered a strange sticky goo dried on the kitchen floor. When I opened the fridge, it smelled like something died in there.  Something did die, and it was our fridge which dripped thawed raw meat, popsicles, and frozen fruits and veggie juice onto the floor and into the wall trim where it then made it's way into our basement.  The goo had solidified to the point where we needed a putty knife to scrape it away. And lots of bleach. It took days to find all the sources of the smell and reminded me so much of that one college roommate who came home drunk and puked into the heater, causing our room to smell like puke for the rest of the year. We got the car emptied out and went shopping to buy a new refrigerator that very night. Come to find out, after searching every appliance store in our area, that the size we need doesn't exist anywhere in stock due to an apparent Covid appliance shortage. We were told to expect a July arrival date. Fortunately, Will was able to borrow a mini fridge from work the next day and our Home Owner's insurance wrote us a check to help replace all of the spoiled food.

As if that wasn't enough to snap us out of our vacation chill, the very next day the power steering went out on my car, which was in the shop for a week and had a price tag of almost two grand. To add irony to this story, Will's car that we had posted for sale for the entire month of May, finally sold the day my car's steering went out. As the buyer was standing in my driveway making an offer to Will, I heard Alanis Morissette singing in my head. We knew it was now or never with Will's car, since we've been trying to sell it for over a year but it kept ending up in the repair shop. So we went from two cars to no cars and got a free loaner from the auto shop that was working on my car. Will could get to work, but the loaner did not fit our entire family, nor did it have air conditioning. Picture Will arriving at work sweating, and with a giant sticker on the side of the car that says "Free Loaner." Nothing like real life to keep you humble. But, we are grateful the steering didn’t go out when we were up north as that would have been a pricey nightmare to tow it home - been there done that before - with Will's car which was now fortunately sold.

So here I am, freshly 40, and living life again as a college student with my mini fridge, no car and wondering if it would be worth taking out a student loan. But unlike my college days, I am now responsible for four little humans who eat three times a day and need to be taken places like doctors and dentists and shopping and friends.

While all of this is going on, I am getting sicker and sicker.  I had started seeing a new Functional Medicine doctor in the spring who was taking insane amounts of blood work from me in an attempt to figure out what is going on with my health.  The first blood draw was split up over two different days and they took so many vials of blood at each one that I could barely drive myself home.  The second time I went, and each subsequent month after, I ate steak before my appointment and packed snacks for the drive home.  Over several months of this level of blood work, some patterns started emerging.  Namely, that I had extremely high levels of mycotoxins in my blood that started going up around the same time my family and I had what we thought was Covid at the beginning of April.  The doctor now suggested that we get our house tested for mold.  We've had our house tested for mold a number of times, and it always came back negative.  The doctor told me that it's a weekend certification to become a mold inspector and that not all mold companies are experienced at finding mold. So we did air quality testing with an online lab that the doctor recommended and when those flunked royally, we called in the remediation company that she suggested.  My mind is now starting to connect the dots - my sister's books that were moldy, our luggage and baby equipment, and the fact that our basement leaks and needs a dehumidifier running nine months out of every year.  The mold company found systematic mold on every single floor joist in our basement ceiling, as well as various molds growing on the cinderblock walls.  Will and I were told from other mold companies that there was harmless growth from water damage over the 100 plus years of our home's lifespan, but it wasn't anything to be concerned about.  Now I know that any mold is harmful for mold sensitive people.  I am apparently a mold sensitive person.  The most mind-blowing part of the inspection though was the mold growing on the floor joists - in the top, left hand photo below is an example of how the floor joists look.  Will and I thought that is just what 101 year old floor joists look like - they look dusty.  Nope.  It's mold.  Everything in our basement that had a porous surface and couldn't be wiped down with disinfectant or sent through the wash in a mold killing solution had to be thrown out.  Even our pantry in the basement - anything in a cardboard box like cereal or crackers and even the paper labels on canned goods had to be thrown out.  Will peeled the labels off of the cans, disinfected the can and labeled them with a sharpie. The food boxes were opened, boxes tossed, and we kept the plastic sealed food within.  It was financially devastating to throw so much out, unbelievably time consuming, and tedious.  And Will had to do it all by himself, as now we knew that I am anaphylactic allergic to mold.  

The allergists I went to over the years never tested me for mold allergies, only food and other environmental allergies.  This is why it was so confusing when I would have anaphylactic reactions to what seemed like food and my tests said I wasn't allergic to those foods.  And why after over seven years of going to so many doctors I was starting to think it was all in my head.  I did have many doctors suggest to me that stress could do crazy things, despite me telling them I wasn't stressed when these events happened.  Looking back on the allergic reactions, which I have kept a journal on, it became clear to me that these foods could easily have had mold on them, or it was times when I spent time in my basement where my workroom is.  The Functional Medicine doctor also pointed out that I am allergic to a mold-based antibiotic which I reacted to at age 5 and was my first known allergic reaction in my life.  

And even crazier, the blessing with our fridge and it's timing, was that when Will pulled off the floor trim, he found mold in the walls.  Mold was everywhere in my house.  We bought our house 11 years ago from someone who had bought it in a severely neglected foreclosure, and flipped it.  Everything looked shiny and new when we bought it.  We had no idea what was in the walls but it was making me sicker and sicker.  My beloved house was making me sick.  But that's not to say that any house is free of mold - most houses have mold and it is something you just have to stay on top of after any leak.  The problem with our house is that the basement leaks nine months out of every year, and so there is no inexpensive way to keep mold at bay.  It was time for Will and I to arrange for remediation, and determine if we could afford to fix the root problems or if it was time to move.  It was also time for me to begin coming to terms with the fact that I have an allergy to something that is almost as prevalent as air.  Mold is all around us, it is a useful part of how this planet efficiently recycles everything, and it is impossible to avoid 100%.

More ah-ha moments kept occurring.  When we had the remediation company out, he tested our sump pump as he said that is a common source of mold.  Guess what - the sump pump tested positive for mold and signs of mold exposure/toxicity for even people not allergic to mold include fever, muscle twitching, lung issues and fatigue.  All of the symptoms we had in April, after Will fixed our sump pump.  Another ah-ha moment was the severe stomach ache I had after eating the morel mushrooms I found last month.  Fungi and I are not compatible it seems.  For most people, there is a threshold of how much mold they can safely handle.  Mold gives off toxins to keep other varieties of mold from moving into their territory, and so if there is enough mold and not enough fresh air, the toxins can accumulate to the point where anyone would be sick from exposure.  That was the point we were now at in our house, as Lucy and Emma were exhibiting symptoms as well.  

Lots of heavy things for Will and I to figure out this month, but when you have kids, life continues to move forward.  Opal, still at a fresh 3 years old, is dependent upon us for almost everything.  The other three could manage somewhat with our distraction, but Opal needs us for the most basic things.  This is a huge blessing, as otherwise I may have been hard pressed to get out of bed this past month.  I didn't feel well, and emotionally was reeling from the news about our house.  Sweet and spicy Opal ensured I got out of bed each morning, and found reasons to smile, laugh, and keep going.  Here she is below in clockwise order from top left: I found her with a piece of tape fixing a part of the floor trim that she accidentally knocked a chunk out of, Opal helping herself to a left over piece of corn on the cob from our new, reachable mini fridge, Opal having long enough hair to finally braid, a marker I found with a piece of tape over the top and after asking who did that, Opal explained she couldn't find the cap so made her own cap, and finally, the piece of floor trim that Opal repaired.  She is a problem-solver for sure!

Also in the hierarchy of needs is Charlie, and although way more independent than Opal, still not responsible enough to be left to his own devices.  In clockwise order from top left below: Charlie napping in the grass, Charlie attacking the net we put across our driveway to keep kids and balls out of the street, Charlie looking in to our kitchen window, Will giving Charlie a good brushing with diatomaceous earth to keep him flea-free (he LOVES being brushed), Charlie looking like a sphinx on the cinderblocks where my beehives used to be, and Charlie napping on top of our car.  It took us a bit to find him, as we like to lock him in each night and when we finally discovered him on top of the car, he opened one eye and looked at us like we were annoying him.  What a cat.

We finished up school for the summer this past month, and I may have been more excited about this than even the kids.  In clockwise order from top left below:  Lucy reading a Physics book laid out like a graphic novel which I thought was a cool concept.  Wile E. Coyote was the main character and since Lucy has not grown up on this cartoon like I did, I think the novelty was lost on her.  When I asked her if she was learning anything, she responded, "You mean besides that coyotes are super dumb?"  Next photo shows Violet with a drawing shop set up in our craft closet, the girls receiving a package of brand new books compliments of my sister Jane's boyfriend's mom who is a professor at Oxford University and gets a free copy of any book that Oxford publishes so she sends us the kid ones, and finally, the kids making crafts together.

With no car and no school, the girls and I took up watercoloring together.  It is so relaxing and we all enjoy it.

Lucy and even Emma are outgrowing play, and this has left Violet lonely.  Slowly but surely, Opal has been filling in the playmate role for her.  The age difference between Violet and Opal is the same it is between me and my younger brother, and he was my very best playmate growing up.  I am so happy to see that despite a four year age gap, Violet and Opal are learning how to have fun together.

I wanted to officially launch my new business Wildflower Moon on the Full Flower Moon of May, exactly one year after I started the business.  That was not to be, but lots of positive steps forward happened this past month.  In clockwise order from top left below: reviewing another proof from the printer of the journal, seeing a mandala I drew in print, the cover of the journal, the bookmark which fulfilled my need of being eco-friendly but still sturdily made of maple veneer by a small artist owned company in Detroit, Lucy helping me make more bracelets, and cloth handkerchiefs made with my own signature fabric arriving from the sewing company I love in Cleveland.  It seemed like almost every day a new surprise was waiting for me in the mail, and the excitement that this generated was a huge blessing for my mood.

We celebrated Father's Day with Will this past month...

...and enjoyed a bike ride with him to celebrate the day.  I found a cool little bike seat on Facebook Marketplace for Opal, so that the girls and I could still get to places despite having no car.  Opal hated the bike trailer, she hated the bike seat that we had that went behind my seat, but she absolutely LOVES this little seat.  It's like a cuddle while riding a bike, and her and I both really enjoy the experience.  Because of this little seat, we were able to go to the kid's well-visits at the pediatrician via bike, which our doctor loved to hear, go to our friend's house, and even pick up a few groceries.  In the right hand, top photo below, we found a pair of twin fawns in the cemetery we walk in our neighborhood.

We spent time with family and friends this past month, and based on the COVID numbers, finally felt comfortable with an indoor visit with my family.  Hugging them made me cry, and it was so good to see my nieces and nephews although bittersweet as well to see how much they had grown since we last saw them in person.  Hugging my own parents after over a year of quarantine was an emotional experience I won't soon forget.  I didn't realize just how much I missed hugging them until I was finally able to hug them again.  Writing this almost nine months later, I know that we ended up quarantining again as the numbers went back up, and went back up again, but at this point, I thought/hoped we were through the worst.

We enjoyed the warmer weather this past month and the freedom of playing outside without winter accessories.  In the bottom, right hand photos our neighbor made a face out of some rocks on our picnic table and then Will came home from work and added arms and legs.  Aren't humans adorable?

The below pictures reminded me of this season, and how we came up with a new summer treat with our blender, a jar of peaches and some frozen mango.  We loved doing water play and eating this blended treat with a spoon to stay cool and celebrate the perks of summer.  I had to laugh when Violet and Opal put on their swim goggles to run through the sprinklers.  

Our wildflower meadow started blooming this past month, and Lucy was able to get some lovely photos with her camera (the three photos on the right hand side below) and all of the girls brought me lovely bouquets.

Another summer treat that the kids discovered this summer was homemade lemonade.  What a perfect time in our life to make lemonade from lemons.  The first time they made it from a recipe online that apparently was meant for a large crowd.  They ran out of pitchers and containers to hold the liquid and the kitchen was a sticky mess.  We have since revised the ratios and the kitchen is still a sticky mess, but we now have the appropriate amount of containers to hold it.

Emma and I tried our hand at making purple vinegar with chive blossoms from our garden and rice wine vinegar.  We gifted the pretty purple liquid to my mom and Will's mom with a recipe to make salad dressing with it.

Our garden produced tasty strawberries but with four sets of little hands picking it this year, barely any berries made it into the kitchen.  Will bought his annual flat of strawberries at the fruit stand by our house and made enough strawberry jam for the year.

When life is throwing you more lemons than you have pitchers to make lemonade with, it is helpful to find the humor in life.  I couldn't stop laughing when the pot bellied pigs our neighbor was babysitting got loose and some well-meaning citizen called the police.  Watching pigs being caught by the police was a level of humor only lost on the police themselves.  The road was blocked, traffic was backing up, and it was like a regular parade when the pigs were led back to their home on sticks with nooses, squealing (although it sounded more like screaming) all the way home with neighbors applauding and making pig and police jokes.

We headed up north at the end of the month, which was good timing to get us out of our house that was making us sick while we waited for remediation.  

Getting to the beach is a feat with four kids, and Will is like a human pack animal.  Thankfully my new beach bag from my parents for my birthday helped, but those inner tubes sure are interesting to tote.  Will has even been known to give piggy back rides when the sand is too hot.  The kids have no idea how spoiled they are by his strength.

I love sitting on the beach and watching my family play in pure peace and bliss.  I also love watching the babies leave the beach as the sun sets.  Every single baby leaves exhausted, wrapped in a towel, and carried by a tired parent.  My baby is no exception.

Lucy found a frog one evening at the beach and the kids had fun playing with it.  I'm not sure the frog had fun, but he did eventually hop away.  Will and I have some great memories pre-kids of hiking Tahquamenon Falls, and this year we felt like they were all old enough to enjoy it with us.  It was so nice to be back there, this time with our kids.

Since Will and I have been there before, I knew that we needed to get the entire family water shoes to be able to enjoy the full experience of walking in the falls.

After a blissful afternoon in the water, we had ice cream and then headed back to the cottage.  When I took my new water shoes off, I discovered that they had stained my feet blue.  Every day for the rest of the trip, I had to deal with people staring at my blue feet.  I wanted to say that I was on vacation from my day job as a member of the Blue Man Group, but I instead just tried to keep my feet buried in the sand.

Opal was carried for most of the hiking, as there were a lot of stairs, and how Will did it in the humidity was beyond me.  It drizzled most of the day and the air was super thick.  In fact, it rained every single day we were up north that week.  It didn't stop our morning hikes, but it did make beach time delayed, or just not as fun.  In the top, right hand photo below is a sweet little spot we found that we put a fairy in for a photo op.  I keep the fairy in our hiking backpack and the kids keep engaged in the hike as they look for perfect fairy spots.

We had a take out meal at sunset on the beach one night, and it was the type of golden moment that I will remember forever.  We had the beach to ourselves as it had rained earlier, and the water was calm and the sunset through the clouds was breathtaking.  Someone once told me that the most spectacular sunsets happen with clouds and that is a great metaphor for life.

We spent a lot more time in the cottage than we had hoped, but I had brought watercolor supplies and games and so we made the best of it.  Will was an art teacher for a time, and his frog that he painted reminded us all of his currently untapped talent.

The below photos show more time spent indoors at the cottage waiting for rain to stop so we could go to the beach.  I had to laugh when Will showed up for dinner one night with a towel wrapped on his head like Lucy and Emma had on theirs.  You can just hear Lucy and Emma saying, "Daaaaaaad!"  

This past month was the most expensive month of our lives with mold remediation, power steering repairs, a new fridge, and all of the items we had to throw out from our basement. It gives new meaning to the term Rainy Day Fund, as clearly, when it rains it definitely pours (and when it pours, our basement leaks). You could argue though that the ah-ha moments that occurred were priceless, and there is something to be said for finally figuring out what has been making such mysterious and disturbing health issues for me for so long. We were now in the thick of the events that would shape the course of our future. The voice in my head was no longer singing Alanis Morissette but telling me to buckle up, buttercup!