Opal at 28 Months

Opal got her cast off at the beginning of June and did great with the actual removing of the cast with the saw and the loud noise.  We brought noise canceling headphones, suckers, and everything Elmo.  We also role played how the cast removal would go for several days leading up to it. What I did not anticipate however was the severe anxiety that Opal has for riding in the car since she broke her arm.  She screamed in terror all the way to the doctor's office, each bump or turn prompting new levels of screams, and by the time we pulled in the parking lot I was seriously considering calling from our car to cancel her appointment - which is saying a lot, considering I had been counting down the days like a kid awaiting Christmas for this cast to be off.  It was just Opal and I, and I didn't know how she was going to handle the x-rays and removal if she couldn't handle the car ride.  With a sucker in her mouth (she was too terrified to be pacified by a sucker on the drive there) we got our temperature checks (I'm shocked I didn't have a fever because I was sweating like I did from the drive there) and rode the elevator up to the doctor's office while I practiced deep breathing and prayed to God for strength.  And wouldn't you know, as soon as we stepped off of the elevator, besides some hiccups and a splotchy red, tear-stained face, you would never know she had an issue on the way there.  The gray hair on my head is definitely from Opal.    

Thankfully Opal meets the height and weight requirements needed for a forward facing carseat, so we switched her seat and it has helped over a period of a few weeks for her to calm down.   As I type this, it is two months out now, and she is doing fine in the car, however we now have a sucker addict on our hands who thinks that every car ride still equals a sucker.  We are down to one sucker a day.  Her anxieties have moved on to other things.  We are still on the struggle bus, and she is definitely working through something triggered by her broken arm.  She has fits screaming that she is falling and is scared to sit in her high chair unless Will or I (or both of us if we are there), put our feet on the legs of the chair while she eats to ensure its stability.  Most recently, she wants her arm off, does not want her arm anymore, and can we please take it off?

I do think that the broken arm saga has occurred at a developmental milestone in Opal's life that seems a tad unfortunate.  She is definitely in the throes of being two, and is fiercely independent and knows her own mind very clearly.  I think her growing knowledge of the world has led to a lot of fears and she is struggling to move past them.  It breaks my heart and exhausts me at the same time.  I've seen a meme that says, "I don't have a favorite child, but I have a child that I try really hard not to wake up."  In the below photo, Opal has just woken up (on the wrong side of the bed) and is adamantly telling me why she is upset: her cereal is not the same as the one on the box - where are the raspberries that are pictured?!

We go for walks every day, and have done so for most of Opal's life.  She is not content to ride in the stroller now unless there is food.  She just wants to walk.  Will and I cannot get the exercise levels that we need at the pace of two-year-old legs.  So our walks become a hostage negotiation situation, but in this case, we are trying to keep the person hostage.  God bless parents and their abilities of distraction and bribery.  Ultimately, we end up letting her walk for a bit, but always, always, have a food bribe in our back pocket to get her back in her stroller so that we can get home.

In case this post is too raw and honest, I have saved the best for last.  Although these past few weeks have been rough with her, she is still the apple of our eye, and loved beyond measure.  Her little body just snuggles so perfectly into us, and we all live to make her smile or laugh.  Here she is below, getting love from her sisters, who she refers to as "ladies."  She will yell up the stairs when dinner is ready, "LADIES! DINNER TIME!"  At bedtime she will go in her big sisters' room and say, "Good night ladies!"  The bottom, right hand photo below cracked me up so I had to take a picture - I asked Lucy to take one for the team and give Opal a ride around the house in her doll stroller so that I could get something done, and Lucy reluctantly obliged - while continuing to read her book while walking on her knees so she didn't have to stoop.  She'll make a good mom.  

Thank goodness Opal has three older sisters, as she can usually find a playmate if she is persistent enough.  I keep telling Violet that in another year or two, Opal will be a great friend to her.  The brother I played with the most growing up was the same four year age difference as Violet and Opal are.  

For some reason, Opal likes to sit on top of Legos.  Whatever floats your boat, kid!  She loves swinging, and playing outside.  Thank goodness we are going through this rough patch while the weather is nice!

This sweet baby is loved so much.  My mama heart is praying for her anxiety to lessen, and we are also taking her for bodywork at our chiropractor and we have also consulted with Opal's pediatrician and our homeopath physician.  We are confident that this will be a passing stage, and Opal will be back to her happy, dancing self in no time.

Here is my sweet baby below, in clockwise order from top left: having her Elmo smell a twig of lavender that she picked in the backyard, smiling for the camera, and playing with two turtle paper weights - she told me one is the mama and one is the baby, and she is having them kiss.

Sweet baby of mine, as our family favorite toddler storybook that I now recite by heart after reading it to my four girls these past eleven years - I Love You Through and Through by Bernadette Rossetti Shustak says, "I love your happy side, I love your sad side!  I love your silly side, and your mad side....  I love you through and through, yesterday, today and tomorrow too!"

Grateful in June

Our June included a lot of backyard play.  Our state was still on a lockdown for half of the month due to COVID, and even after the strictest lockdown was lifted, we still didn't feel comfortable going back to our regular routine.  The photos below in clockwise order from top left: Lucy showing great managerial skills while Emma totes a bag of play sand with a kid-sized wheelbarrow, Emma blowing bubbles, a driveway bonfire to celebrate the summer solstice, the girls catching fireflies in our driveway, Emma enjoying our tree swing, and Violet posing for a photo for Lucy.

I am also happy to report that the road work in front of our house is complete after almost a month of heavy work every day.  Thank the Lord, and I hope to never take for granted quiet mornings at 6 a.m. or being able to park in my own driveway again.

Charlie is not complaining with all of our time at home, and has enjoyed being close to us outside.  He is a beggar for food, and although we may have just fed him, he is always looking for handouts.  I always say that his early start in life as an orphan has left him perpetually hungry.  Will likes to point out that it is probably the worms that he perpetually has that are constantly leaving him hungry.  Tomato, tomatoe.  The top left photo below my neighbor took when Charlie was hanging on her front porch with her.

Another neighbor has been leaving his car windows open now that the weather is nice.  I looked out my dining room window one afternoon, and saw Charlie climb into our neighbor's car.  I text the below photos to my neighbor, who fortunately, likes cats.  I did have my neighbor promise to do a Charlie check before he goes out.  It does scare me though - what other cars is Charlie exploring?

For Father's Day we visited my Dad on a day where it would just be us and we could maintain social distancing.  The kids yoga teacher came by one day for a socially distanced visit and it was so nice to see their sweet teacher.  We spent a few backyard socially distanced visits with friends, and all of the kids did a great job.  Towards the end of one visit the kids realized that they could do a dance party together while maintaining social distancing!  We met Will's parents at a park for his mom's birthday and the weather was perfect.  I do worry how this type of socializing will impact our kids and the future, however a silver lining is that we are spending more time outside and that can only be a good thing.

We spent the afternoon at the river by our house with friends for a COVID-safe get together, and although it ended in the drama of Violet losing a flip flop and my friend and I almost losing our eldest daughters as they tried to rescue the flip flop from the river current, it did make for some great memories now that we know the only thing that was ultimately lost was the flip flop.  There is nothing like the anger coming forth from two moms who had the fear of losing their children - and Lucy and her friend were reduced to tears as our relief-anger let lose on them both.  It was the first time that I realized that my kids are of an age where they complain about the injustices of their parents to their friends, and even bond over it.  In the below pictures from top left in clockwise order: Lucy, prior to being taken by the river current, Opal, all the friends, all of us on the way to the river, and finally, a giant snapping turtle that was crossing our path ever so slowly.

Here we are below, getting ready for Father's Day in the top, left picture, and then celebrating it with Will in the rest of the photos.  The kids made him Rice Krispie treats for Father's Day as that is one of his favorite treats.

A friend of mine came over one afternoon with a feral kitten she rescued so that it could be socialized with kids.  This little kitty is missing one paw, which only added to the cuteness factor - as if it's possible for a kitten to get any cuter.  This single event has made my kids entire YEAR, and they want a kitten so very badly now.  They are still talking about Rocky the kitty, and don't remember when Charlie used to be that little and cute.  Emma brought Charlie to the front door to meet the kitten with glass between them and Charlie refused to make eye contact.  The kids are mad at me for being allergic to cats, and I wouldn't be surprised if they all become cat ladies when they are older and on their own.

This past month we were finally able to plant the native flowers and sow the native seeds for our mini meadow that we are installing along our driveway.  It is just over 100 feet long and about 10 feet wide.  Our beehives are on this strip of land, and although honey bees are not native, it will still provide pollen and nectar for them as well.  We are already seeing caterpillars and butterflies on our plants, which is so exciting as we were under the impression that it would take a full three years of the plants getting established before we really saw the insects.  So far my thoughts on the mini meadow are that it really is true that if you plant it, they will come.

We harvested a small amount of strawberries from our garden this past month.  Or maybe it wasn't that small, but not very many strawberries made it into the house, now that we have four little berry pickers.  Below is a delicious dessert of strawberry shortcake that Lucy helped me to make with the strawberries from our garden.  When the weather is nice, we like to enjoy our homemade after-dinner desserts on the porch.  It makes it seem that much more special.  Now that we have multiple kids that like baking, Will and I are going to have to start encouraging their culinary skills on breakfast, lunch and dinner or we will have to buy bigger pants to accommodate all of the amazing desserts we are being served!

We ended up buying a flat and a half of strawberries from a local orchard by our house and Will and the girls made their annual double batch of strawberry jam - which is exactly what we go through each year.  The girls also helped me harvest lavender this past month for drying and using in the various products I make for my business.  This was the best lavender harvest I have had to date!  I probably have about fifteen plants total, and for whatever reason, the weather must have been just right for them this year.

With Will working from home, and coming home earlier than usual due to no after school activities while COVID is still around, I have had more time available to me to cook up a new business idea I've been thinking on for several years now.  I have bought a domain name, and am working with vendors in the US to help manufacture some of the items that I will have in herb and mineral care kits to support women in all stages of their life.  I have bought dozens of books from my favorite online used book retailer, and have definitely gone down a rabbit hole when it comes to the history of women, women's bodies, and how to best care for them.  At this point, I have begun writing a book.  I am nervous to put this out into the world that I am even writing a book, because who am I in the grand scheme of things, but at the end of the day, even if the book becomes a pamphlet that I print at home on my dinky printer and pass out for free, the knowledge that I have gained from this interest-led topic has been both fascinating and life-changing for myself and hopefully my four daughters as well.  In the photos below in clockwise order from top left: the moon which has been a big inspiration, custom tea blends that I am making and trying so that I can add them to my care kits, a stack of used books that arrived all on the same day to my house which led Will to tell our sweet postal carrier that "my wife likes books" with her response being, "it could be worse - shoes and purses are pretty darn expensive,"  Charlie hanging out with me as I type, Opal snuggling me as we look at the moon, and finally, an iron paper weight shaped as a turtle that I bought on a whim last year, and has become my constant and steady companion to hold open the books as I type up my notes.  

There is no timeline, and I am being driven purely by my creative passion.  I keep telling myself that if God inspired me to do this, he will provide a way for it to happen.  I do think that a silver lining of COVID, and the fact that I don't have to deal with the learning curve of homeschooling like so many parents have to right now, that I am in a unique position to utilize this time to pull off this dream.  God only knows how this will end, and the timeline for it, but in the meantime, it is a daily exercise in trust for me between feeling vulnerable of failing, and pressed for time.  Let's be honest, I barely had any free time to begin with between being a mom of four, homeschooling, cooking, cleaning, and running my bee business!

It has been good for Will to take on more of the home needs with the kids, and it has been good for me to get out of my usual routine with them as well.  It makes the times spent with the girls more special and I appreciate Will and the girls so much more, knowing that they are all supporting me in this dream.  Here are two craft projects the girls and I did this past month when I wasn't working.  We made nature dresses for ourselves, and milkweed pod babies that we are thinking of turning into Christmas ornaments.  These are the type of activities that the five of us love to do, and I am so grateful for this time with them.

Not long after the quarantine was lifted, the older girls and I wanted to go to a flower farm and nearby antique store that was mostly outside with a friend of mine.  Will and Opal wanted to come too, as they were just so excited at the prospect of going anywhere after months of COVID.  I made Will promise that he would not get cranky due to boredom, and if he made that promise, he could come with us.  He promised, and we had a lovely morning with my friend.  Here we are below at the flower farm.  Lucy LOVED it, and loved the bouquets.

We also were able to finally drop off the crazy amounts of donation items we had accumulated in our basement due to the extra time at home during quarantine.  But, it seems like everyone cleaned out their closets, basements and garages too and so when we went to drop off the items at the now open resale center, the line was wrapped 40 cars long.  When it was finally our turn to pop our trunk and unload the boxes and bags for donation, we were told there was a two box limit.  I called Will to come meet us there on his way home from work, and he got in the line and donated two more boxes, but we were still left with half a car load.  Over the next few weeks we dropped off two boxes whenever we were in the area.  It is always so interesting to see the side affects of COVID from shortages of toilet paper, flour, sidewalk chalk, bikes, coins, puzzles and cleaning supplies to the excess of time and donation items.  Here we are in clockwise order from top left: the line at the donation place, us enjoying our first "not homemade" treat in months, the girls SO happy to have a reason to drive somewhere in the car, our first official "take out" eaten at a park, and the girls posing for a photo for me at the same park.  Another COVID silver lining - all of these otherwise normal activities are so much more joyful now that we have more gratitude for them.

For me, despite the stress and a lack of being able to really predict what the future will hold, COVID has triggered so much gratitude in me, and because of that, joy.  I'm not saying that the days have not been hard - they have been.  The change in our routine and the difficulties with simple things like getting groceries are exhausting.  But, we are all healthy.  The people we love are healthy.  I will no longer take that for granted.  I am at a unique point in my life where my favorite people still live with me, and I am so grateful to be quarantined with them, even though I am exhausted and they never leave the house or yard to give me a moments peace.  I am so grateful that they are here with me, right now, for this unique moment in history.  I am grateful that Will still has a job in these uncertain economic times, and I am grateful that we have a house next to beautiful hiking trails.  I am grateful that we have had extra time to be a family together, to love, to fight, to play and laugh, to eat with and clean up after.  But mostly, I am grateful of simple things that I used to take for granted.

I am exhausted, but oh so grateful to be where I am.