Our Golden, Happy Place

Last year for my birthday weekend we discovered a cottage up north that we loved so much that when we got back home, we went ahead and booked another stay for September.  And then, when we came home from our trip last September, we went ahead and reserved May and September of the following year.  Imagine our surprise when the cottage owner text me the Saturday before our stay to say that the guests scheduled (and paid in full) right before our trip had canceled, and that we could head up a week early at no extra charge.  The question wasn't if we should go early or not, it was how, since Will couldn't take any extra time off of work.  Several hours passed before we came up with our game plan.  My brother Pat agreed to travel up with us, so that he could bring Will home in time for work on Monday and I wouldn't be stranded up north without a car for four days.  By the time our game plan was in place, the car was packed and we arrived up north it was almost midnight. Opal screamed for probably three of the four hours there and I was seriously doubting our decision.

We all got a good night's sleep though, and in the morning the sun was shining and I had no regrets.  We were at our happy place, and it would be over a week before we had to make the car trip back home with Opal.  Our first full day there also happened to be Mother's Day and I couldn't have asked for a better day.  The girls had even brought up my Mother's Day present - a book called The Seven Silly Eaters which I took out from the library every chance I got as it reminds me of my little family.  After breakfast, we were excited to show Uncle Pat all of our favorite places in the one day that he had to share with us.  We took him for a hike on our favorite trail by the cottage and when we arrived at the trail head, we were greeted by a large cluster of white butterflies that made the trail seem almost magical.  The butterflies were everywhere, and the girls had fun getting them to land on their fingers.  My brother didn't seem to mind the girls and my excited exclamations over butterflies and all of the spring wildflowers that were also in bloom.

It was a memorable hike, and we realized at the summit that we had brought along what my brother referred to himself as, "The Original Selfie Stick".  His long arms took a great selfie!

After lunch we took Pat to one of our favorite beaches, and then enjoyed a take out dinner from our favorite burger place - voted best burgers in our state!  Then, the inevitable goodbyes as Will and Pat packed to go home, and the reality of being four hours from anyone we knew began to set in for me and the kids.  It was a tear-filled goodbye, as it was the first time any of us were going to be apart from Will for four whole days and nights (Will's hospital stays excluded because at least I could visit him then!).  When we could no longer see my brother's truck on the horizon, we decided to play one of the games we brought.  This was the perfect thing to cheer us up and to set the stage for our week of just us girls.  The photo below in clockwise order from top left: the game that distracted us from missing Will, a photo I text to Will the next day when I desperately needed a nap with Opal and couldn't figure out how to turn a movie on for the girls (Will was able to tell us how to do it just based on the photo!), Emma cooking breakfast, the girls playing school with their dolls, Emma giving Opal some morning snuggles, Emma doing school on the front porch, and Lucy on the tree swing.

 The girls was so very helpful, and truly were the only way I could have even considered going up north alone with a newborn for four days.  Emma was mostly in charge of cooking, Lucy was mostly involved with Opal, and Violet helped whenever she could.  I had planned for super easy meals, all of which the kids could help prepare almost completely on their own.  The photos in clockwise order from top left below: Emma watching Opal, Violet, Emma and Lucy with paint kits I had gotten them for their birthdays, Opal taking a great nap so I could help the girls paint, me trying to keep the bugs from biting me as I read on the front porch swing, and finally, the girls with their paint sets.

 I had packed and brought up their schoolwork, as we had already taken off enough time from when Opal was born and I didn't want to extend our school year even father into the summer.  The girls seemed inspired by their new surroundings and did school each morning in record time.  After school was done we usually headed out on simple trips - finding a grocery store and buying fun foods for a picnic, exploring the National Park and enjoying the beach.

The bugs were really bad at the beach for most of the week, and that was a disappointment but we still found ways to have fun.  All of us slept so well on our trip and I have to attribute it to the up north air, the sun and the water.  Plus, it didn't hurt that the beds in the cottage were super comfy.

Since we were up north for over a week, it was the perfect time to sign up for the Junior Ranger Program at the National Park.  The girls and I had fun all week exploring and accomplishing different requirements of the program and at the end of the week they were given a badge and sworn in as Junior Park Rangers.  We also added another stamp to their National Park Passport books which now contain three stamps - all from the same National Park.  Someday Will and I would like to visit other National Parks with them, but for now, we are definitely getting to know the one in our own state very well.  And truly, is there anything better than that - to know and love deeply that which is closest to you?

The timing of our trip was perfect for the brief window in which the spring wildflowers bloom before the trees grow all of their leaves for the season and shade out the plants below.  We bought a wildflower guide book at the park office, and had so much fun identifying and learning all of the names of the flowers that we saw.  In no particular order, trillium, white, purple and yellow violets, dandelions, bellwort, yellow trout lily, wild strawberries, spring beauties, daffodils, Indian Pipe, and Dutchman's Breeches to name a few.

I did not have the courage or physical strength to venture out on long hikes without Will, as I could only carry Opal and was worried about if Violet tired out and we were out on a hike with no way to carry her out.  That didn't stop us from going to lots of park landmarks with short, paved trails but we did plot out a hike a day for when Will joined us at the end of the week.

The bugs also cleared up by the time Will was back with us, so we were able to enjoy some great beach time.

The water was still too cold for swimming, but we still had lots of fun.

 My favorite treasure from the entire trip was a rock that Violet found that she told me, "Looks just like baby toes!"  Sure enough, when she lined it up with Opal's foot it was the perfect silhouette of her little baby foot!  What a sweet gift that Violet gave to me, and I will keep it for always!

 Is there anything better than sandy, baby toes?  In the above picture, Will is washing off our three oldest "babies'" toes.  On our last full day up north, we met up with friends for a hike in the National Park and then shared a pizza dinner after.  Our group consisted of four adults and seven little girls and despite the chilly and damp weather, we had a wonderful time.

Because of a fire ban, we were unable to enjoy nightly campfires until our very last night at the cottage.  A fire, with the sunset in the background and s'mores on our hands and in our mouths with my favorite people in the entire world is the culmination of my happy place.  To have Opal with us for the first time in this sacred place just added to the joy.  Emma refers to the way she likes her s'mores and the way the sun casts a light on everything as it sets as, "Golden".  It is our Golden Time for sure.

Our drive home is usually a somber one, as we say goodbye to this beautiful place until next time.  Miraculously, Opal slept the entire four hour drive home and we capitalized on this and drove straight through.  After the rough trip up, not a single one of us took that for granted as we gladly held our pee and replaced our missed lunch with snack foods scrounged up in the car!  It was good to be home as I love our house and our town, and to be close again to our family and friends.  It is such an interesting predicament, to love two places at once, and truly, as long as the cottage owner is willing, we will do our best to get there twice a year.  And, as long as we are welcome, it is the perfect scenario for us - to enjoy this beautiful place and not have to worry about the cost or upkeep.  Truly, the ability to have no responsibilities while we are there is probably the underlying reason it is such a wonderful recharge for us.  So, until next time sweet cottage, we will be dreaming of you!

Lilacs and Dreams Come True in May

One of my favorite flowers bloom in May, and lilacs are one of the most heavenly scented flowers I know.  The girls and I were practically drinking in their scents in my neighbors yard.

 

Let me just say that with all of those lilacs in bloom, it was just one more reason why getting. school. done. for. the. end. of. the. year. was. even. more. brutal.  Here the girls are below showcasing some of their art projects from their art class.

 Violet loves playing dress up, and in the photos below can be seen as a bride, a ballerina, Elsa, and a spinning ballerina.  Lucy and Emma's dance teacher had an extra ballet costume from a younger class, and sweetly gave it to Violet.  This generous gift made Violet so happy, and so proud.  She even has me put her hair up in a real ballerina bun each time she tries on the tutu.  Also pictured below is a family movie night, complete with a picnic dinner and Charlie watching from the porch, as well as the three oldest girls snuggled under a cozy, weighted blanket that a family friend made for us.

If Charlie could talk, he would probably say that he misses us.  Between my cat allergy and caring for Opal, Charlie is lacking my affection.  He really is a sweetheart, even if he terrorizes and then eats the neighborhood wildlife, and harasses and eats any of our food that has been left unattended.  I'm not sure if it is because he spent the beginning of his life as a starving feral orphan cat or if he just loves to eat, but either way, he can never get enough food.  Below is the view out of my office window one evening.  I knew from past experience that when I went outside to investigate that I would find Charlie under that window.  Sure enough, there he was with his tail swatting back and forth menacingly when I scooped him up and locked him in the garage until the chipmunk had time to escape.  That chipmunk lived another day, but I told it in no uncertain terms that there was no future for him in my yard and to take his family and run for the hills.

 Our little suburban farm is just getting started for the season this past month with asparagus almost every night for dinner.  We planted our garden for the season with tomatoes, beans, lettuce, peppers, cucumbers and melon.  Our bees are doing great, and Will even upgraded my wildflower garden with sunflower seeds and poppies.  He weeded, and found lots of wildflowers from the previous years already sprouting up.  The bottom, left hand pictures below show the girls waiting patiently for us at the bee property north of us while Will and I checked on our bees.  The property there is just so gorgeous, and it is like a mini trip up north for me every time we go.

Lucy found several toads in our garden this past month, and as a sign of her growing up, enjoyed them for a few minutes and then let them go.  This is a big change from summers past when she wanted to keep them for months and the became almost skin and bones on the diet of ants that she fed them.  The below photos in clockwise order from top left: Lucy with a toad, the girls' dolls with acne cream on them in the sun to eliminate pen that someone scribbled on them (this was a Pinterest suggestion, and it actually worked - sun plus acne cream - who knew!?), enjoying Popsicles outside for the first time this season, the first sprinkler play of the year, the first water table fun, a fairy ring Emma and Violet made, Lucy with a bouquet of flowers from the yard and Will holding up the tallest dandelion from our yard.

We planted flowers at the cemetery for Luke, Will's grandpa and my grandparents on Memorial Day...

...and then went to Will's parents house for the afternoon.  It was too hot outside for Violet that afternoon, so Grandma and Grandpa T. had birdhouses for the girls to paint indoors.  They had a great time, and all three birdhouses are already occupied!

The below photos in clockwise order from top left: Opening Day at the Farmer's Market and Opal's first visit, picking out our flowers and veggie plants for the garden at a local greenhouse, the girls and I all trying on outfits at a clothing store (don't be deceived by the cuteness - it is utter chaos shopping with all of them and Will was waiting impatiently with Opal on the other side of the door - but despite this, I am in awe of my luck of having four girls to have this experience with!), and finally, Violet got to shop with the gift card to the Lego Store from her God father for her birthday, and she told Will, "I know what my gift card says - Happy Birth Mark!"

 Violet turned four at the beginning of this month, and handled her day with both grace and serene happiness.  She was so patient watching Emma and then Lucy enjoy their birthdays that I think she could hardly believe that it was finally her turn!  Her big sisters spoiled her with all of her favorite things - Barbies and My Little Ponies, and my favorite picture is of her laughing when she opened the gift she had bought, wrapped and given to herself!  Easter Peeps that she found on clearance and knew that she would enjoy for her birthday!  Will and I got her some new Frozen dress up outfits, Legos, a Disney Princess puzzle, her own ride-on bouncey ball, and a ballerina book complete with music.

Lucy and Emma convinced Violet to go to the local craft store to spend the gift cards they had all gotten from my parents for their birthday, and so they spent the afternoon making the pillows they had bought with their money.

 Violet even found violets growing in the sidewalk on the walk we took on her birthday!  Here she is below as we sing happy birthday to her.   I can't believe how much she has grown!

My birthday was at the end of the month, and because it was the day after Memorial Day this year, Will could not take the day off.  The girls spoiled me though from the moment they woke up - starting with a bouquet of lilacs Lucy has picked the night before, and then presents from each of them.  Opal gave me a great gift by actually taking two really good naps, and because of that, I was able to play with the girls new Lego sets from their birthdays and Emma and Violet even had saved pieces for me to be able to actually build them.  I thought that was so sweet and thoughtful!

We ended up going to the library where Emma begrudgingly helped load up all of my books - but only because it is your birthday mom!  We picked up lunch from our favorite sandwich place on the way home, and even scored a free chocolate chip cookie because there was a slight delay with our order!  Bonus!

 Will surprised me with two lilac bushes of my very own when he got home from work, as well as a blueberry pie that I asked him to pick up from a local pie factory right by his school.  It was a happy day for me, despite sleep deprivation as Opal was up most of the night before, but I truly could not ask for anything more.   It occurred to me on my 37th birthday that I have come pretty far on discovering who I really am, and leading a life true to myself.  And although I never dreamed of my current reality when I was younger, I am so happy to be where I am right now with the dreams that started when I fell in love with Will almost twenty years ago now.  Four earthly children and an angel son, our dream house, and a purpose that I feel passionate about - raising my girls and saving the bees with Will by my side.  Yes, 37 is looking good!

Opal's Third Month

Opal brings us so much joy!  She is so loved by Will and I...

...and so adored by her sisters too!  To hear each sister "baby talk" to Opal just melts my heart and reminds me that despite the challenges of raising four earthly kids, we are doing something right.

Just like when Lucy, Emma and Violet were born, we took Opal to the cemetery to visit Luke's grave.  Below is the traditional photo we take of the siblings baby feet lined up next to the ones we have of Luke's engraved on the headstone.  It is the closest I can get to having all five of my children together on earth.  One of the favorite things I have heard my girls "baby talk" to Opal is, "Did you see Luke in heaven before you came to earth Opal?  Did you give Luke hugs and kisses before you came to us?"  Oh, my heart.

There have been several times this past month where Opal has had inconsolable crying.  For over an hour, absolutely nothing I can do will make her calm, and I can tell that it is a cry of pain.  The pediatrician said that it is probably trapped gas and gave us tips to help alleviate it.  I do believe she is right, but it is so heart breaking to have your baby scream for that long in pain without being able to help her feel better.  During one memorable scream-fest, the older sisters seemed oblivious at first, as Opal cries throughout the day for various things.  But as the screaming went on, each big sister ended up coming to my side and helped me figure out how to soothe Opal.  Their sweet "baby talk" and ideas eventually did the trick and Opal fell asleep exhausted in my arms.  Here she is below, after Lucy suggested getting her undressed, and wrapping her in Lucy's favorite silk blanket from when Lucy was a baby.  

Opal sleeps just like her sisters did at this age, which isn't great, but I suppose that it would be tough not to pick Opal as our favorite if she slept better.  This way, at least I can say I love all of my babies equally!  Opal is slowly coming to accept her bath, but she still isn't crazy about it.  Again, same as her sisters at this age!  Here Opal is below, looking especially cute in outfits that were of course picked out by her sisters.

I found a set of gorgeous, pink shabby chic frames for Opal's bedroom and finally figured out how to be fair in the photos I chose for the three-picture frame when I have four daughters.  I ended up putting a photo of each sister holding Opal! 

This past month Opal is still more interested in people than she is in toys.  Below is her first attempt at "playing" with a toy.  She did enjoy chewing on the corner of this one that a friend made for her!

We ended Opal's third month by celebrating a double baptism with her cousin Hayden.  It was such a wonderful day, and I just couldn't stop smiling!  Who knew that my brother Joe and I would have baby girls just months apart, and then be able to be the God parents for each other!  Seven years prior to this, my brother Mike and I also had baby girls only three months apart, and although we didn't coordinate a double baptism on the same day for our daughters, we did become God parents for each other's baby girls.

In the photos below, the God fathers, the God mothers, and the God sisters.

It was a lovely day, filled with family and great memories.

 Opal Marie, you are very loved!

April Gems

The first day of April was Easter this year, and also the first holiday for us in this holiday filled month.  Last Easter we had no idea how much could change in a year!

I love the holiday services at our church, and this Easter was even better, with Opal in our arms.  Our lovely church was so sweet in welcoming Opal, and I had three different women tell me with tears in their eyes that they raised four girls too.  I know I will be one of those women someday, looking through misty eyes of a younger version of me.  What a privilege to share this bond with otherwise strangers but once this detail is known, strangers never more!  Below is our first family photo at our church, Charlie showing the girls how many eggs the Easter bunny left each girl in the yard, and our four girls, ready for their annual Easter egg hunt after church.

Charlie had fun chasing the girls while the girls hunted for their eggs.  I swear he even gave away some hiding spots!

April Fool's Day was on Easter this year, and because Will wasn't at work, we had to deal with his shenanigans.  Yes, he hot glued each googley eye on every container in our kitchen, including inside of our fridge.  I'm grateful that most years he is at work for this holiday and his coworkers can enjoy his creativity.

The next holiday at our house was Emma's 7th birthday!  Emma asked for a diary this year complete with a lock and key.  She was happy to receive it, along with Legos, a jigsaw puzzle, an LOL that turns colors submerged in water from her sisters, some books, and Lucy even passed on to Emma the statue that my friend gave Lucy from her childhood - of a girl, holding a cat, with the number seven on her dress.  Ironically, I had that same figurine when I was seven, but donated it long before I knew I would one day have four daughters!

The girls love the magnetic chalkboard in our dining room that I use for school, and I promised them that they could decorate it on their birthdays but every other day of the year it was mine to use.  Here Emma is below in the bottom, left hand picture, decorating with chalk markers to her heart's content.  Emma picked brownies with cream cheese frosting and strawberries for her birthday dessert and enjoyed helping make them in the kitchen, without having to share the baking with her sisters.

Our final holiday of the month was Lucy's 9th birthday.  Here Lucy is below, showing off some of her gifts which included the musical Hello, Dolly! (one of her favorites), the Lego set she was hoping for, books, and a jigsaw puzzle too.

Lucy was happy to erase Emma's artwork on the revered chalkboard and fill it with her creations.  She requested a chocolate bumpy cake for her birthday.

 We spent time with family this past month and in the pictures below in clockwise order from the top left: the girls and Grandma T playing shuffleboard against Grandpa T, Grandma Hines and Lucy holding Lucy's scarf over Violet on a hike that got hotter than we had planned for, cousins putting on a show for us, and the girls posing before birthday cake with Grandma and Grandpa T and proudly displaying the umbrellas they got from them for their birthdays.

 We spent time with friends...

...and still found time to continue with our schoolwork.  Keeping the girls on track so that we can end the school year on time is getting harder and harder to do.  What with all of these holidays and the weather getting nicer outside, the girls are easily distracted and not too motivated.  The photos in clockwise order from the top left below: Violet showing off her number cards that she put in order with a little help from her sisters, our haul from a regular visit to the library, Emma on her balance board doing math flash cards, our return stack for the library, Violet doing the last page in her preschool cutting book - she has come so far in one year with her scissor skills, Emma and Lucy showing me their art from their weekly drawing class, and finally in the center photo, the girls at their end of the year Catechism party where we did volunteer projects for various organizations.  Their favorite is pictured, making beaded bracelets for kids in need.

Will does a great job of involving the girls in the kitchen, and is more laid back about the dangers of knives and stoves.  No one has gotten hurt on his watch either, and the kids just love cooking with him.  I admit that this is not my gift - it stresses me out to have more than one kid helping me at a time, as their fighting over whose turn it is to do what wears on me, and our compact kitchen feels too crowded as well for my liking.  Will on the other hand just goes with the flow and because of this talent, the girls have learned how to make macaroni and cheese, tacos, sloppy joes, breakfast sausage and scrambled eggs.  In the pictures below in clockwise order: chicken empanadas made in bulk and ready for the freezer for some fast work lunches for Will, Will wearing a chef hat from one of Lucy's old Halloween costumes while having fun with the girls and cooking a delicious meal, beignets from a mix our neighbor brought back from New Orleans, and finally, a carrot that Will and Violet found in our garden as they were prepping it for the new growing season.

The girls love playing with the play silks a friend of mine made for us years ago, and it is one of the top ten things in our house that they play with.  Lately, it is scenery and wardrobe for the shows that they put on for us.

More indoor play is featured in the below pictures in clockwise order from top left: Violet who gave me a start when I thought that her baby doll was Opal, me reading bedtime stories with the girls, Violet explaining the story of the Three Little Pigs to me after she colored and built a story kit about them, Violet being a goof and tying herself to her chair with a sweater that was hanging over the back of it, and Emma soaking her feet to ward off the start of a springtime cold.

The start of April was unseasonably cold but the snow did melt and underneath it we found a pair of frozen solid mittens that the girls had lost earlier in the year.  The top, left hand picture below is Will coming in with the mittens, announcing to the girls, "Guess what I found!"  Keep in mind, they were still frozen stiff and flat, which gives a good indicator as to the spring we have had.  We did enjoy Opal's first walks this past month though, and the girls also enjoyed playing "restaurant" under the shrubs in our yard and also playing in general without the bulk of winter coats to weigh them down.

Towards the end of this month it was finally warm enough to eat outside, and even go for a bike ride or two.  Will installed a tree swing that the girls have really enjoyed riding, and in the bottom left hand picture below is a headstone we discovered in our neighborhood cemetery that appears to have sunken into the ground.  Talk about creepy!

While I was pregnant with Opal, I developed an allergy to my honey.  This is probably the worst thing I could ever become allergic to and after having allergy testing done, the blood test revealed that I am allergic to honey bee venom.  My raw honey has honey bee venom in it, and hence why I was unable to eat it.  I am hoping to not be allergic, now that I am not pregnant, but until I can be retested this summer, Will is handling the bees for me.  He knows how sad I am about this, and so is trying to be as sweet as possible about it.  The photos below in clockwise order from top left: Will, texting me a photo of him installing the bees at our friend's property north of us, Will installing the bees at our house, Will helping to package up our online yard sign orders, more online orders being packaged up, and finally, the bees with the sunset behind them.  Oh, so beautiful, and I can't even tell you how happy it made me to get the texts from Will of his happy face with my bees that he set up in the background.  I couldn't ask for any more, except to pass my allergy test this summer!  In the meantime, I am a lucky gal to have Will bee a keeper too.

 Our crocus were still in bloom in April...

 ...followed by the daffodils, dandelions, violets and tulips.  Everything bloomed late this year, but we were still able to find Emma's flower, daffodils, that bloomed the day she was born, Lucy's flower, tulips, that bloomed the day she was born, and Violet's flower, violets, which of course bloomed the day she was born.  Our front lawn was covered in violets at the end of this month and Violet was practically rolling around in them.  She proudly told me, "It's like the whole world is my name!"

These days, my life is full of busy times with lots of demands on me and seemingly like not enough of me to go around.  There are gems of moments sprinkled in however, that keep me going, that keep a smile on my face, that remind me that this hard-work chapter of my life is so worth it, and that there is no where else I would rather be - or anyone else I would rather be with for that matter.  Most of the photos on this blog are snapped during the "gem" moments and I hope that I remember the harder moments as time goes on too, so that the golden haze of memory is realistic.  However, who wants to pause and take a photo of the tough times?  I usually remember during the best times - and below is no exception.

I took this picture to remember the feeling of overwhelming pride and gratitude as I enjoyed a beautiful spring walk with my four beautiful girls.  Why life demands a price for such happiness, paid in sleep-deprivation, not enough of me to go around, cold meals and Opal's screams on car rides is a question I still ponder.  But, I think the more appropriate question is why must gratitude, which leads to happiness, only be truly appreciated when experienced through challenges?  This is a special time in my life right now, with such extremes between trials and joy, that my hope is to be fully present for it so that I may remember this time, filled with both tough times and gems, combined together to create one very grateful, and easily made happy (think hot shower, hot meal, hot tea, a quiet moment with all of my children content) woman.