9 Months Ago...

...I held my baby boy. Nine months ago today, I had to say goodbye. I have now come to the point where I have missed my Luke longer than I had him with me. It is a strange thing to consider. I can still close my eyes and feel his warmth, and his weight in my arms. I can still smell his earthy, sweet baby smell. Every day, I still play back the events in my mind of the day we found out we lost him, the day we finally got to meet him. Such bittersweet memories. I would do it all again though, even knowing the ending. I am thankful for every day we got to have Luke with us, and although I wish it was longer, much, much longer, I am thankful. We have a son! A beautiful, sweet boy who is laughing and playing in heaven with all of our friends and family that have gone before us. A wonderful mom named Susan who cannot be on earth with her daughter - she is watching out for Luke for me and giving him the love only a mom can. My grandpa, who loved to rock in his great big rocking chair - he is rocking Luke for me. My Uncle Mike, who was always such a joker -he is making Luke laugh. My Great Uncle Bill - he is filling heaven with his great big hearty laugh, and making Luke smile. And Will's grandpa, who we never got to meet - I know he is loving Luke and making up for all the grandkids on earth that he never got to hold. So although my arms are empty and aching for my son, I know that he is well loved and taken care of in heaven. I hope our family and friends up there are telling Luke just how much he means to his parents, and just how much we love him.

Wee T was 17 weeks old on Monday. I am starting to feel her kick and wiggle more and more. This is my favorite part of being pregnant. She squirms at the most random times, and always brings a smile to my face when she does. Wee T has no idea yet just how happy she is making her mom and dad. On Monday, December 1 we have our first ultrasound scheduled. We are hoping to find out then that all is healthy with Wee T, and we are hoping to confirm her gender as well! I will post as soon as we hear anything. Until then, if you could keep us in your thoughts and prayers on December 1, we would appreciate it. We have so many memories attached with the fetal imaging department at Royal Oak Beaumont. We are hoping December 1 will be the first time we hear good news there. Either way, I know it will be emotional, but I really can't wait to catch our first real glimpse of Wee T.

Remembrance Service

On Monday evening, we went to a Remembrance Service at our church for all the families who have lost loved ones in the past year. Both of our parents came, and three of my siblings. It was very well done. Each deceased loved one's name was read during the service, along with the chime of a bell. A cross with Luke's name that laid on his casket during his funeral service was also presented to us. It was quite emotional, but we were happy for the chance to attend something in Luke's honor. After the service, my mom presented us with cookies she made for us that were hearts, with a hole in them to represent the hole in all of our hearts now that Luke is gone. They were so beautiful! It means a lot to Will and I to know that Luke is missed by more than just his parents.

I was 15 weeks on Monday. Wee T got to vote for the first time yesterday, and will have to wait at least another 18 years before she can do that again! God Bless America!